


Nothing matters while we´re dancing

by FeatherQuill



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2018-04-17 00:09:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 57,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4645122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeatherQuill/pseuds/FeatherQuill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the summer of of 1999 Twenty year old Lee Pace is bored out of his mind. There are many reasons for that, but the main one is that he has yet to spent another summer at „Blooms.“  The family resort he has been dragged to every single year since he was twelve.  Maybe this time it will be different,  he decides, eyes landing on charmingly moody dance instructor Richard Armitage.  - Inspired by Dirty Dancing, with a twist :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Summertime Blues

**Author's Note:**

> As of now this is still a W.I.P but I decided to post it anyways because I am very much in love with the idea. This won´t be updated quite as -well daily as "The book of love" but it will be updated. The rating is for later chapters but I am afraid there will be quite a lot of smut in this. And yes, this is very much Based on Dirty Dancing , only with a twist and certain alterations. Comments and Kudos are very much welcome <3 Please let me know what you think

Lee sighed dramatically, flopping down on his bed. He didn´t want to go there. Not _again_. So what if he behaved like as if he wasn´t a day older than twelve. Twelve was the age he still saw fun in doing something with his parents and his big sister Sally, but now he was in collage and didn´t see the sense in it. His mother had given him a long suffering look and sweetly explained to him that as long as she did his laundry and he wasn´t able to pay for the back pack trip around the world he yearned for, he had two choices. Either he would come with them , or stay at home and spend his time moping. 

So, here he was, sitting in the backseat of the car and muttering under his breath that nothing would ever change anyways and why they had to go there every single year. 

“Son, we go there because those people are friendly, know us and don´t bother me to much, You know how much stress I usually have, so do me the favor and stop looking as if somebody is about to shoot you.”

At that Lee beamed. 

“Will somebody do that? Ow! Sally, stop that.”

His sister just chuckled and tried to look innocent while Lee rubbed the back of his head, giving her a scowl. He didn´t want to point out that his father did go there for numerous reasons, besides having saved Orlandos father from a heart attack and thus prolonging his life. By god he loved his father, but sometimes he wanted to be looked at as more than the youngest son of a famous heart surgeon and the baby brother to a equally famous lawyer. He sighed again, eyeballing his father from the backseat. 

“Son. What is on your mind.”

Oh that was an endless question but the answers he wanted to give were not the ones his father wanted to hear, he just knew it. 

“Oh nothing really.”

His father good naturally laughed, one eye on the road, the other in rear view mirror fixed on Lee. The grin the older man wore was kind of calculating and Lee just knew what would follow next. 

“Orlando will be there too.”

One thing his father wasn`t ? Subtle. 

“Good for him.”  
Lee muttered, eyes challenging. He didn´t have anything against Orlando as a person, god no. The other boy and him practically grew up together since the Pace Family spent all of their summer holidays at “Blooms.” That wasn´t what bugged him. Two years ago, his father and the rest of the family had found out that he didn´t really fancy woman. The circumstances had been a tad awkward, to say the least, because his father had come home early from the hospital during the holidays and had _heard_ something. That something had been Lee and the lovely, lovely delivery boy who had been flirting with him everytime he came by the house to drop something off. Well, deliver he did, Lee thought a chuckle.

“You know what I mean Lee.”

He did but he wanted his father to work for it. 

“He is a nice young man.”

Lee rolled his eyes inwardly. Orlando was nice enough. Just not his kind of nice but there was no way his father would accept that. Or listen to him. He remembered the conversation rather vividly.  
_I don´t understand why you can´t be more interested. The boy really laid on the charm thick enough to make everyone see that he fancies you_ his father had said in the middle of their living room, looking at him as if he would be dumb. His reply had been short but precise _This is not a business deal, dad_ He had hoped that it would have been enough to end it like that. Apparently it hadn´t. 

“Oh, stop it, both of you! We want to have fun and we are nearly there, so please don´t wreck the car before we have reached our destination, hon.”

That was why loved his mother, she always had the right words when they were needed. Sure enough soon they drove to the Gates of “Blooms” Resort and Spa _The place for the whole family_ as was proudly proclaimed in the brochure his father had shoved at him, like every year. 

“They got a new dance instructor this year.” 

His sister helpfully supplies with a grin and Lee wants to stab her on sight but remains calm as Mr.Bloom and Orlando come up to their car. 

“My! We thought you lost the way, come on , come on – where is that boy of yours!”

Lee groaned inwardly. His sister only smirked. He was too old for that. Or felt like it anyways. Next to Orlando, Viggo appeared, silent as always while unloading their luggage and smiled wearily at Lee. 

“Still hating it, huh?”

Lee blushed and clambered out the car, taking his suitcase for himself. He didn´t need to be pampered, god damn it, he could carry his own luggage! Unfortunately he choose that moment to demonstrate why he always got chosen last when it came to sport. Any sport at all. He managed to trip over his own shoes because his laces had come undone and he spun around, losing the grip on the handle of his suitcase. His suitcase, he hadn´t bothered to lock properly. It wouldn´t have been half as bad but the sudden, unexpected motion made all the contents fly out, making everybody turn. While his sister laughed , his parents just blinked oddly but said nothing. Viggo cleared his throat and Orlando tried not to look a little mortified. With a certain horror Lee realized that his boxer shorts had flown past Orlando and Viggo, hitting someone smack in the face.  
That someone gingerly moved his hand towards his face, grimacing only slightly. Why on earth had he packed _Superman_ shorts? It all unfurled in brightly lit slow motion. The guy, nearly as tall as Lee all but sauntered over to where Lee was still holding to the handle of his suitcase before he tried to speak. There were a lot of words that wanted to come out of his mouth but none of them seemed fitting. His cheeks felt hot, his ears buzzed and there was the mortifying moment he considered starting to cry. He did nothing of it all, he just stood and stared. 

“These are yours, love?”

The wolfish smile that was thrown his way made Lee blush even harder and he snatched the shorts away from the other mans fingers hastily, stuffing them back into his suitcase. 

“You can speak, can you?”

Lee whimpered a bit and Orlando, bless him came to his rescue. 

“Let him be Richard.” 

Richard just chuckled and to Lees anger had the nerve to ruffle his hair before he vanished into the other direction.

“Who the hell was _that_?”

His sister said, very eagerly and Lee shook his head. Still, there was the nagging feeling he would see this guy again. What was his name again? Ah, yeah, Richard. Best to remember that. After he had downed something alcoholic to make him forget what else happened.


	2. Poetry and Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That´s bullshit. Its always worth fighting for something. But hell, I am not here to give you advice.

Richard stood motionless in Mr.Blooms office, eyes narrowed and the vein in his head throbbed dangerously as he listened to the accusations that were thrown his way _that little rat_ he thought angrily as he remembered the boy from earlier. He was being scolded for being rude to guests when he had been the one with knackers thrown into his face. It was a sheer miracle that his head didn´t explode. On his way out of the office, he was stopped by a hand on his arm, spinning around and fuming. 

“What?”

He snarled at Orlando, who didn´t even flinch. 

“He didn´t complain about you. His father did.” 

“Who?”

And wasn´t he Mr-cat-got-my-tongue today? He tried to calm down, pulse dangerously close to jump through the roof. He needed that job. There wasn´t really anything else he could do after all that happened in the past. The memory was unpleasant and sharp, a knife twisting in his gut, like always. Orlando just smiled at him patiently. 

“Lee. You know, the kid who flung his shorts in your face. By accident I might add.”  
So that was his name. Richard remembered rather vividly and sighed, raking a hand through his hair, a little bit calmer now. He had been on his way to collect the sheets with names of guests wanting to take dancing lessons when he had stopped. He had felt his fingers go numb at the sight of the boy climbing out of the car and looking for all the world like as if someone was about to shoot him. That made him smile. And there was that sliver of skin showing between his jeans and Shirt. Yep, he had been drooling a little before he had reminded himself that this would be the most stupid idea to ever cross his mind. Then everything had gone dark and he realized that he hadn´t been punched. Rather something had been thrown at him. Once he had pulled it off, he just wasn´t able to resist to tease the lad a bit. And what a lovely blush had spread out on those cheeks. He sighed as someone snapped their fingers in front of his face.

“You still with me?”

Richard wasn´t sure. 

“Kid you said? How old is he?”

It was hard to be the judge of that these days, he mused. Warning bells set off in his head again, but he ignored them for the time being. 

“Twenty.” 

Orlando said, a sigh forming on his lips. He knew the look Richard had on his face well enough from many other people who first laid eyes on Lee. Had seen it in the year before and the year before that. The only problem was that Lee was completely oblivious to that, caught up in trying to do the right thing. Orlando felt something close to pity for the poor guy.

“Yeah. “

Orlando, master of patience, once again said and shook his head. He had other things to do and he wasn´t there to babysit Lee, although his father seemed to think of it like that. Of course he also hadn´t been blind to the things that his father and Mr.Pace had talked about, the hopes they had. He was fully on board with Lee. They were friends and nothing more, never would be, but parents learned a lot harder than their children. At least that was his conclusion. Richard on the other hand forced the headache he felt coming on back down once he was back in his own quarters. He shouldn´t even _think_ into that direction, but still. Those eyes, that idiotic smile and the soft hair. Yeah, there was only one way this could be solved. He would get hammered. 

In moments where he found himself sitting at a bar he liked to contemplate his life. Thus he found himself , when he wasn´t working as a part time dance instructor in a holiday resort every Thursday at Grahams bar. Usually until Graham cut him off or he was pleasantly drunk enough to dance out of the bar. Yes, dance. So what? At least that was something he could do. Martin looked at him over the counter and shook his head.

“News spread fast, don´t they?”

Martin just snorted and leaned over the counter, looking closely at him for signs that he might be drunk already. He wasn´t. There were reasons for that. First was that he needed the job to pay his bills until his real work started and secondly Bloom senior just itched to get rid of him already. One could say they just didn´t get along very well. In short, he was doomed. 

“No they don´t mate. Just making sure you don´t drink me out of stock, is all.”  
At that Richard chuckled, turning as someone slid onto the stool beside him. 

“Are you stalking me?” 

He hissed and the source of his anger turned innocent eyes towards him, that turned slowly furious. 

“Me? Stalking you? God you ass, get off that high horse, would you! It´s bad enough I have to spent time here every year without you making it hell.”

Lee muttered and looked pointedly at the floor beneath his sneakers. He had managed to sneak out of the Cabin his parents had rented, excused himself with the thinly veiled lie that he needed fresh air and felt restless. His sister had looked at him over her salad with a smile that told him that he had been caught but she hadn´t ratted him out. So he had strolled towards the bar farthest away from the cabins and entered. 

“Hey, calm down. No need to lash out, love.”

Richard tried for a gentler tone, remembering his manners and his job. At that Lee, if he remembered correctly, deflated a bit and muttered an apology. God, the boy was lovely. 

“Sorry. I just..don´t really want to be here.”

Behind the counter Martin snorted again and wiped the bar down raising his eyebrows as Richard ordered another whiskey, shoving it at Lee.

“Makes two of us.”

He said flatly and Lee stared at the drink in front of him, raking a hand through his hair. He needed to take a breath, to be somewhere else inside his mind at least. He plays with the rim of his glass raising it to his mouth and toasting towards Richard. 

“Cheers.”

There is an honest little smile on his lips and Richard stares at him for a moment longer before downing his own drink. Martin just looks on, giving Richard a warning look which Richard ignores gleefully.

“Cheers.”

He echoes and turns a little on his stool, grinning as if he has lost his marbles once and for all. 

“So, why are you here then? I mean, you are old enough to make decisions on your own, aren´t you?”

Lee nodded frantically before he deflated. 

“It is just easier to not put up a fight about certain things, I guess.”

He swallows, hates how it comes out and looks down. Richard can´t help it, puts a finger under Lees chin to make the younger man look up. He wasn´t really a kid anymore – a discovery that made it so much harder for Richard to not just give into temptation. After all, his lack of proper judgment had landed him here, in a tourist filled hellhole with the shittiest whiskey he had ever had .

“That´s bullshit. Its always worth fighting for something. But hell, I am not here to give you advice. “

At that Lee perked up. The hand on his chin moved to his cheek before it was pulled back. There was something in the air but maybe he had read it wrong. 

“Oh? And who are you to know that you can´t give me advice?”

Richard smiled, handing Lee yet another drink and shaking his head. 

“Nobody you want to be caught with, precious golden lad that you are.”

There was a certain challenge in Lees eyes as he downed his second drink and all but fumed at Richard. 

“You don´t know me. And I don´t even know your name.”

Richard drinks up, licks his lips and shakes his head when Martin clears his throat rather loudly, a gesture Lee knows well enough. 

“Oh come on, you know how old I am Martin. I can hold my liquor. So, what is your name, Mr.Manners?”

He asks rather bitingly a swallow of whiskey, regretting chucking it down the way he did. He felt his eyes water but didn´t want to seem – well , like a child in front of the other man. 

“Richard. But I´ll go for Mr.Manners. And you, Mr. Eyebrows?”

Lee flushed. 

“Well, fuck you too.” 

He muttered, stroking his fingers over his eyebrows, red faced like earlier in the day before telling the man that his name was Lee. Not that he hadn´t known that beforehand, but Richard liked to be prepared.

“What is it you want then? I mean, come on, playing board games and cricket can be fun. Or you could book some dancing lessons with me.”

Now Lee seemed generally hurt. What had he done to the guy? And if he loaded him that much, why did he buy him drinks? Slamming his glass down hard on the top of the bar Lee made to stand but was grabbed by the other man.

“Hey, look. I am sorry. I just had a hard day, love. You didn´t do anything wrong.”

To his surprise the boy hadn´t started to cry as he had anticipated but actually broke free of his hold. 

“Oh that I know. I also know whom I don´t want to be drinking with tonight and it is you. Congrats, you won the jerk of the month trophy.”

Lee all but hissed, tossed some bills on the counter top before turning around and leaving. Richard looked after him for another five minutes before he closed his mouth. 

“What was _that_?”

Martin didn´t say anything, just shook his head. This would cause trouble. Still, he would start making and collecting bets about the two of them.


	3. Don´t rain on my parade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ah first time?”
> 
> He nearly jumped into the air but the man behind him just laughed, patting his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So , this goes on, the universe has it out for Richard and I loved writing Lee as a tease. :D It won´t stay that for long, because I am on the mission to justify that rating, promised *cracks knuckles*

“What do you mean, you are ill Sally! You can´t be ill, we are on holiday!”

Sally just glared at him. At least she tried to before she sneezed and threw a pack of tissues his way he neatly ducked. 

“Hey! It´s not my fault there was hazelnut in the cake over at Mr.Blooms! Not my fault you always need to kiss ass!”

So he was far from empathetic this morning but he just couldn´t find that much sympathy for his sister who, in the attempt to please people had actually managed to eat a piece of cake she was allergic against the other day. The result was instantaneous and more than visible. Sitting up in her bed she reached into her nightstand , pulled out a notepad and scribbled down something before tossing it to Lee.

Lee stared at it for a moment, blinking rapidly and after what seemed like an eternity barked out a laugh. 

“Me? Taking your dancing lessons, why on earth would I do that? I am sure Dad will get the money back if he asks.”

She snatched the notepad from his fingers and scribbled something down again, returning it to her brother a moment later. Lee grit his jaw.

“You blackmail me?”

Although she could hardly speak she nodded and grinned devilishly. Throwing the notepad near her head and missing _she was his sister after all_ , he stomped off and sighed. It was idiotic. He didn´t even like dancing. Mostly because his sense of coordination was shit. More than shit. Still, he didn´t want to explain to his parents why on earth he had climbed through the window when coming back from his walk and smelling of whiskey before flopping down on his bed. Stuffing gym clothes into a back he made his way over to the building where the dancing lessons took place. 

How was this his life? But his mother had given him a look that told him that it would do him good to be gone for a while if he wanted to dodge nagging questions. There was something ,though at the back of his mind that wanted to come forth. Something he had forgotten. Maybe it was nothing.

Upon entering the building the only thing he saw was an empty room with mirrors on the wall and a bar as he remembered from ballet. He shuddered. 

“Ah first time?”

He nearly jumped into the air but the man behind him just laughed, patting his shoulder. 

“Hi, I am Luke and you don´t look like a Sally.”

Luke gave the clipboard he was holding a look, making Lee flush and quickly explain. 

“Ah, I see. Well, doesn´t matter. Unfortunately I don´t think you can dance like that.”

He gestured at Lees street clothes. 

“Changing rooms are in the back. I´ll set everything up.”

Lee smiled, grateful that at least this was easy. Meanwhile Luke poked his head into Richards office, grinning. 

“What is that look for? Does she wan´t to reenact every bloody dance movie she saw? Thinks she´s J-Lo or something?”

Luke just tittered and shook his head. 

“Nah, but you´ll will love that, you will.”

Luke had spoken to Martin the other night and barely had been able to hold in his laughter as he had been told the story of what had happened. He had anticipated much, but not for the source causing Richard to throw a fit to walk through the door. He was going to enjoy this, oh yes he was. Richard just gave him an odd look before looking at the Clipboard. 

“Oh, her brother fills in for her, she is ill.”

That made Richard turn his head in Lukes direction, now perched on his desk.

“First - arse of my desk. Secondly – don´t care, as long as it is paid for I will teach an elephant how to waltz.”

Luke threw his head back and laughed heartily. Richard found out why a moment later as he walked into the training room, eyes still on his clipboard. Lowering it he wanted to say something but the words got stuck in his throat. The universe had it out for him. 

“What are you doing here?”

Lee asked a bit dumbfounded. Richard dropped the clipboard. The sound of it clattering to the floor was the only thing to be heard in the otherwise silent room. 

“Working.”

Richard deadpanned after another long moment of silence, hoping to sound professional. He looked Lee up and down, sighed. 

“You can´t dance in those.”

Lee looked down at his sneakers, up to the man that apparently hadn´t been joking about giving dancing lessons and shrugged.   
“Why?”

Richard was about to rip out his own hair but instead he huffed, grabbed Lee (who gave an very unmanly squeak, he would deny for the rest of his life) around the waist and twirled him around the room. At least he tried to, because Lee stumbled over his own feet, the laces on his sneakers having come undone again. It was a horrifying moment in which Richard realized that they both would fall. 

Lee landed on top of him, wincing as their heads bumped together. 

“This is why, you twat!”

Richard hollered. Luke gripped his phone, poking his head out of the office, calling Martin with a grin on his face and informing him that he raised his bet against them ever becoming a thing – as Martin had put it. Honestly, who would be mad enough to think that? Lees face was red and he scrabbled back and rubbed at his forehead, wincing as his fingers came away bloody. Richards eyes widened before he pulled the younger man up from the floor, dragged him to his more private rooms. 

“Sit!”

He bellowed and Lee did, because he was too shocked to do anything else. It took a moment for him to realize that he sat on a bed and Richard was frantically running around the room like a chicken with its head cut off. He also dimly realized that was because of him and his bleeding forehead. With a nearly triumphant shout Richard emerged from what should be a wardrobe but was only a clutter of stacked boxes, wielding a towel.

“Are you alright? Do you see anything double?”

Lee shook his head and moaned in pain, flopping back and closing his eyes. Richard counted to a hundred because that, that was temptation laid bare in front of him and he just couldn´t do that. With a sudden jolt the kid sat up again, grinning manically. Maybe he had hit his head harder than he thought, Richard mused, nerves alight with worry. 

“This is a nice bed.”

Lee grinned, eyes sparkling. Richard closed his eyes again, counting to ten, then to twenty. Damn his luck. 

“But not yours, so up you go if you can walk. Let me look at that.”

Lee threw him a pout. That was _not_ how it should have worked, but then again the man in front of him wasn´t some horny delivery boy. A slow smile crossed his lips. Richard groaned. 

“I don´t know about that. See, I am wounded, really I am. At least you could invite me to..you know – a drink. You did want that yesterday, didn´t you?” 

That had been true enough but there were warning bells going off by the dozen in Richards head and he should listen to them, because that – that was bad enough because Bloom senior did look for a reason to fire him anyway. A sudden thought came to his head, fueling his anger further and he grabbed Lees shoulders in a harsh, demanding way.   
“Did he set you up to that? Play a little whore for me, so he can finally fire me? How much does he pay you?”   
Lees eyes had gone round and something inside him felt suddenly very cold as the implication set in. His jaw clenched, together with his fists at his sides. What the hell was the guy on to think something like that. And worse, it hurt – but he was too proud to admit it.

“Wow, you are really good with people.” 

He made to stand up but it was to fast and his world began to spin on its axis. Richard caught him around his waist and helped him to sit again, cursing the way his mouth tended to run away with him. Raking his hands through his hair. 

“I am sorry kid.”

He said and Lee snapped, gritting his teeth, for all the world looking like he wanted to bite Richards head off. 

“I am not a kid. I told you that.”

Snatching the forgotten towel from Richards bed, he pressed it to his forehead and sighed, trying to get rid of the pain manifesting in his head. Naturally that was the Moment there was a knock on the door and Mr.Bloom waltzed in.

“What is going on here?”

Lee looked at him and he also saw the naked panic rising in Richards eyes as the man gave Lee a once over. 

“Did he do that?”

Now, while Lee liked Orlando – he couldn´t say that much for his father, because the man could be a real dick and he used the power he had over his employees. Or misused it if he couldn´t stand the person he had hired for whatever reason. Being treated as a kid had its perk in that matter, because the man now glaring holes through the man by his side didn´t even notice that he was the one who was observed by Lee. 

“Oh, no. Richard saved me.”

Richard nearly choked on his own spit at the sudden change in Lees behavior. Childlike and way to innocent for the man he had seen a few seconds ago. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end when Lee snaked an arm around his middle.

“You know, I was just walking around and – you know me, I tripped, hit my head and he helped me to my feet again.”

Yeah, Richard was dreaming, he had to be. Why on earth would Lee do that? It didn´t help that he himself wasn´t a person that trusted other people much. Bloom senior looked at them but nodded gruffly before turning to Richard and handing him a stack of papers. 

“Don´t take to long looking after him, you got work to do.”

With that, he turned and went into the other direction but Lee still hadn´t let go of him. A fact that gnawed at him, making him feel guilty. Damn that boy. No, Lee wasn´t really a boy. He was.. well – he was someone Richard shouldn´t even be thinking about. Still the hand on his back burned through his shirt and Lee smelled far to good for his rational sense to kick in. 

“Yes?”

Lee asked, eyes downcast -suddenly unsure of what the hell he was doing here and why. His cheeks flushed and Richard, like yesterday tilted his chin up.

“I..thank you. And, well – sorry.”

The silence was awkward until there was a second knock on the door and Luke poked his head in, observed them both and cleared his throat. 

“Richard, your next appointment is here, so to speak.”

Thankfully that was all he said but Richard felt brave, reckless all of a sudden. 

“You still want to go for a drink later?”

The way Lee smiled told him that he would be in trouble. And the worst thing was that he really didn´t give a shit about it.


	4. To play a game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do that again and I´ll spank you until you can´t sit.”
> 
> Lee only smirks wider. 
> 
> “Promise?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, finally I can justify my rating *sits down* I would make a horrible pun about how hard writing Sex is but --oh I did. Anyways, I hope you enjoy :D

His father wasn´t amused, Lee knew that when he came back to their cabin and he also knew that the news from where he had been had already traveled and also had been delivered. And if it hadn´t there would have been questions about the large band aid covering his forehead. If Richard wasn´t anything, it was a nurse. A slow smile crossed his face at that in stark contrast to his fathers glare.

“And what are you smiling about, if I dare to ask?”

That question? He doesn´t even dignify it with an answer because he knows that there is much more to come, has already come in the form of a certain look. The disapproving kind of look.

“Nothing. I am about to make new friends, that isn´t a crime, is it?”

His father looked up from the book he wasn´t really reading and put it calmly aside. He didn´t say much more and his expression was somewhat somber. 

“You are a man. Not a child. I know that.”

If his father did want to have the talk about the birds and bees again, he was going to scream because it had been awkward the first time around. Very much so.

“Can I go now? I want to lay down.”

He said and pointed at his head, sighing in relief when he was finally left alone and his father told him if he wanted something to eat, that the fridge was stocked. So far this year had been more entertaining than the last and the year before that. His sister was asleep next room and he kicked his shoes from his feet, plopping down on the bed with a sigh, thoughts drifting as something hit his window.   
Frowning he opened his eyes, only to discover to his horror that he had fallen asleep and it was well past nine in the evening. Well, damn his luck. Jumping up he followed the noise towards the window and peered out, only to get a small pebble thrown at his head.

“Ouch!” 

He hissed and the person under the window laughed. Coloring slightly he shook his head and his eyes widened. 

“Come on, I haven´t all got night. You wanted a drink, do you remember?”

Oh yes, he remembered and he felt reckless, excited. So excited he didn´t notice his sister coming into the room. He froze, as did Richard underneath the window. 

“Sally..”

Lee said and tried to explain but she simply looked at him with an unreadable expression. There were steps coming up the stairs and with a sinking feeling in his stomach he realized that it could well end his evening plans before they had begun. 

“Sally! Lee! What is going on up there? What is that noise?”

Lee had broken his bedside lamp while he had clambered out of the bed and only now had realized it. He was sweating and Richard was still waiting, hands on his hips. This seemed unreal but oh so very tempting.

“Nothing mum, I dropped a cup. Lee is asleep, poor thing did hit his head, didn´t Dad tell you?”

She managed to get out, the intentional reaction from her allergy having worn out. The steps paused and faded as his mother did walk back down. 

“Go.”

She whispered and he pressed a kiss to her cheek, making her grimace as he slipped on his shoes and jacket, climbing over the little balcony down to Richard who had his arms crossed. That was when he saw it. A sleek motorcycle out of hearing distance. A little excited flutter came unbidden to him. Richard handed him a helmet but otherwise stayed quiet for a moment. 

“We won´t be drinking here or at the bar where Martin works.”

He explained calmly but Lee sensed that there was more to it, so he climbed onto the vehicle behind Richard and wrapped his arms around his waist while Richard started the engine. Richard sighed. The boy was too trusting, to tempting. And he was only human. There was a reason for his odd behavior, really. He had used the front door and looked into a face that looked a lot like Lees but obviously belonged to his father who had blankly told him that Lee would deserve better, that he knew exactly why Mr.Bloom had his doubts about him in every regard except dancing. He had clamped his jaw shut and told him that he merely wanted to know if Lee was okay. Luckily he had parked his bike a little out of sight and so they buzzed off into the night, coming to a stop a few miles away from the resort. 

“Most of the staff go here. It´s cheaper and you can get out of the clutches of the old hawk.”

At that, Lee giggled, climbing off the bike and wiping his hands on his jeans and licked his lips, looking down to the floor. 

“Look, I am sorry about my dad. I didn´t know – I was asleep and ...wait a second. You think I did rat you out, didn´t you? To Orlandos father. Complained, whatever, yeah, you think that?”

Richard froze and because he said nothing Lee just knew what he thought. 

“You didn´t though. So everything is fine.”

Lee paused, eyes fixed on the neon light of the bar and Richard wondered what he was going on inside the boy. Man. God, what was _wrong_ with him, all of a sudden. He blamed it on Luke, on Martin, on the universe. On their jokes about his lack of a love life and the way he had looked at the other man in the parking lot. Of course Martin had lurked around and seen that. 

“Yeah.”

Lee offered, getting out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one up , offering the pack to Richard who declined, obviously lost in his thoughts. The music was loud and blaring and once they entered the room Lee felt as if he had been pulled into another world completely. He could understand why the staff members of “Blooms” didn´t want Mr.Bloom to see that. First of all he couldn´t really make out faces because there was a mass of bodies writhing together on the dance floor and the smell of beer and other alcoholic drinks was heavy in the air. Richard pushed him through, further into the room when another, slightly older man came up to them with an expression that made Lee shiver a bit. 

“Armitage! Didn´t I tell you, no minors here, or guests? Isn´t it bad enough that you have been seen with the kid at my bar in the war zone?”

Taking a drag from his cigarette, Lee choked and coughed a bit at the harsh tone, before a pair of twinkling eyes focused on him and a strong hand clapped him on the shoulder. 

“Just kidding, kiddo. As long as you can keep your mouth shut everything is fine with me.”

That said, the man stalked into the other direction and Lee blinked as Richard laughed. 

“Graham is like that. I am not surprised you don´t know him, he isn´t into the whole be nice to guests thing, you know.”

Lee just nodded and stubbed out his cigarette in the nearest ashtray, looking around. 

“I have the feeling you dragged me out here so you can dispose of my body more easily if you are annoyed with me.”

He only half joked.

“Sounds lovely.”

Richard replied, without missing a beat making Lee blanch and gaining him a chuckle from someone behind him.

“Now, now, Rich, this isn´t friendly, and who are you?”  
Lee gave the man, probably closer to his age than Richards a once over , slightly startled as he heard a growl. He dimly wondered if Richard didn´t want to be seen with him or if it was something else.

“None of your fucking business Dean, so move it.”

Dean just chuckled at Richard, throwing an arm around him and grinning. 

“Long name, might to have to write that down. Really, you must be here to see good old Richards body shot dance. A fine tradition, if I might add.”

Lee raised both eyebrows, turning his attention wholly towards the man by his side, now glaring at Dean, if he had listened correctly with a faint blush on his cheeks. The little devil sitting on his shoulder jumped up and down in excitement. 

“You aren´t teaching that in your classes, are you?”

Someone else handed Richard a bottle of beer before sidling next to Dean, introducing himself to Lee as Aidan. The matching grins the two men had on their faces meant trouble – well, at least for Richard who took a swig of his beer. 

“No.”

He said gruffly and Lee licked his lips, batting his eyelashes. His pulse was thrumming in his veins, making him lose what little rational mind he had left in his brain. Hell, he didn´t know if he ever had that to begin with. Richard on the other hand wouldn´t be doing that and he told Dean as much. Lee grinned broadly. 

“So, this is a date? If you don´t try to seduce me with that fine tradition I shall feel insulted but it would classify none the less.”  
Richard closed his eyes, counted to ten. He didn´t even know what it was. He had promised drinks to Lee because he had felt bad about his injury. Well, if you could call it that anyway. But now? There was a nagging feeling in the back of his skull that he couldn´t quite place. The music picked up and he grinned. 

“Do you want it to be?”

He asked, eyes lingering on that young face much to long. 

“If you don´t call me kid again, I am in.”

With that Richard grabbed Lee around the waist under the catcalls and wolf whistles the other patrons made, twirling him around. One thing was clear. Lee wasn´t a child – he could feel it in the way their bodies pressed against each other and it made it hard to focus on his steps, a fact that was made it much more challenging because Lee had no sense of coordination whatsoever. After he had managed to step on Richards foot for the umpteenth time, the older man gave up, chuckling. 

“You can´t dance for shit.”

Lee grimaced, reaching for his cigarettes again but Richard stopped him. 

“Aside from a drink, what is it you want?” 

Lee grinned, slowly, putting a cigarette between his lips and lighting it up, blowing steam into Richards face.

“Well, I have already thrown my underwear at you, thought it was clear what I wanted.”

He hadn´t done that on purpose, but it had been the moment he had wanted something more from Richard. Well, until he had opened his mouth. Stepping into Richards personal space he looked at him, eyes earnest and bright. 

“I am not one of those rich kids that expect to get everything they want. But I know what I want.” 

His fingers played with the buttons of Richards shirt before dropping to the side, cigarette dangling from his lips. 

“You know that could get me fired? If anybody sees us?”

Lee gave him incredulous look. Richard sighed. 

“Not here. I meant over at the resort.” 

It was cowardly , he knew – but he also knew if he wouldn´t put a stop to this, they would end up in his bed and the other man, as much of a man he claimed to be – with a broken heart. He had seen that before and it had cost him a lot in the past. A mistake he didn´t want to make again. That was until Lees hand , faster than he had anticipated reached down between their bodies and _squeezed._

Richard growled, rational thought flying out the window as he shoved Lee against the nearest wall, causing the younger man to yelp. He relished in the sound long enough before he pressed his lips against those of the younger man, the cigarette having been disposed on the floor without much further ado. There was a clashing of teeth and he felt hands in his hair, pulling him closer even if it wasn´t possible. The tongue pushing against his own was warm and wet, forcing its way into his mouth. With a filthy sound he stepped back, the sounds around them rushing back through his dizzy head.

“You´ve done that before?”

Richard didn´t even recognize his own voice at the moment but the sultry look that was thrown his way said everything he needed to know. It is still warm outside, despite it being the middle of the night and he grabs the long slim fingers that drove him crazy by looking at them, leading the younger man back to his bike, before stilling. 

“My place isn´t far.”

He hears himself say, his own voice foreign to him. Lee says nothing but licks his lips and follows him into the night. It is far from wise but he could care less – as he said, he knows what he wants and so he wraps his hands around Richards neck. 

“Show me to dance there?”

He whispers into Richards ear, eyes falling shut when lips graze his earlobe and hands crawl under his shirt, fingers pinching a nipple and making him his. A dark chuckle makes him shudder but Richard gives him the credit that he doesn´t back down or pull away.   
“That what you want, darling? Dance?”

In answer to that, Lee pushes his hips forward, rubbing his clothed erection against the one beginning to swell in Richards jeans, making him groan.

“Yes.”  
His voice is deep and dark, full of promises that Richard shouldn´t fall for but he is drunk, they are both adults – he doesn´t give a flying fuck when they finally stumble into the place he rents when he can´t stand being in the resort any longer. They stumble over their own feet, much to Lees amusement. 

“Last chance to turn around, go back to your mum and dad.”

It is cutting, meant as an exit but Lee isn´t easily scared off. Clever hands run over Richards arms, down to his ass and squeeze. Richard feels a growl in the back of his throat and he all but shoved Lee through the apartment into his bedroom until the younger man all but falls on the bed with a laugh.   
“What happened to dancing? And me being a kid not worthy, huh?”

It seemed that two people could play a game of wits.   
“Dancing is the farthest thing from my mind right now.”   
Despite his words being harsh and gritty his actions belie him. His hands shake slightly as he undresses Lee, laughs a bit at the angle his hair standing up in odd angles, breathing ragged. Richard sets into motion, something evil in his eyes. 

“On second thought.”  
He pulls Lee up, startling a sound out of the younger man before he pulls them flush together, one hand going around a slim waist, dancing on the waistband of Lees boxers, slipping between his jeans and his prize – so to speak.   
“That ain´t fair.”  
Lee mumbles, only to trail off into a moan as Richard squeezes his cock through the boxers, liking the sound that draws from the younger man.   
“All´s fair in love and war.”

Is all that Richard states before shedding his own clothes and noting with a pleased grin that Lee does the same. There are freckles on his shoulder, Richard notices and his eyes dart there before they travel further down. He is so pleased with himself that he doesn´t see Lee reach for him and pull him onto himself, eyes blazing. 

“God, what do I have to do to get you to fuck me?”

That are the words that gear Richard into action, like a light switch that has been flipped and all thoughts of slow and gentle fly out the window when he grabs Lee, tears the boxers in half and lifts him until his back hits the wall above the headboard. It is far from graceful when he scrabbles for lube and condoms and Lee doesn´t help the way he smirks. 

“Oh, just you wait.”

He says, dangerously close to a growl while slicking his fingers generously and pressing them against Lees entrance. Lee mumbles something close to _finally_ which makes Richard plunge his fingers that much deeper, forcing a cry out of the younger man. 

“Not so cheeky now, are we. Teasing me all day and acting like you couldn´t hurt a fly. I know better.”

Lee looks at him, mouth hanging open, face red. 

“You - _ah_ do?”

Unbelievable, Richard thinks, searching until his fingers find that spot that makes Lee throw his head back against the wall with a dull thud he will feel in the morning, amongst other things but Richard doesn´t care. 

“Oh I do. All innocent on the outside but smirking and letting your legs fall open if you find someone you want. And you want me, I can feel it.”

He says, face red and hand trembling. He practically rams his fingers into the tight channel of the other man until Lee is hoarse, head lolling and cock leaking onto his stomach. Richard dives in, sucking on his shoulder, mapping the freckles there and Lees eyes snap open, mouth obscenely wide, making Richard think of all the way that could be used to his advantage later on. The thought makes him even harder and he pushes Lee until he is on hands and knees. Apparently Richard hasn´t done that in a while because Lee is still able to grin at him over his shoulder, although panting heavily and winking. 

“Do that again and I´ll spank you until you can´t sit.”

Lee only smirks wider. 

“Promise?”

Ripping the condom open with shaking hands Richard curses as it doesn´t go over his straining erection first, ignoring the giggle from somewhere above. When he finally succeeds he wastes no time in lining up and thrusting forward. Despite Lee being all though to him he isn´t fooled by the little painful cry and stops, placing a hand in the small of Lees back, resting his forehead between Lees shoulder blades. 

“Are you okay?”

He knows it sounds dumb, but he doesn´t want his partner hurting and he wants Lee to know that. 

“Yeah, yeah. I am fine. Just been a while.” 

Lee says, hands on the headboard, head lowered. Richard nods, cursing himself for being stupid and whispers with as much rational thought he can that if Lee wants to stop they could stop.

“Are you mad?”

Lee says, nearly breathless and his arms shake. Richard is glad for that, he doesn´t want to stop either but he waits until Lee can´t take it anymore, gripping his own shaft and stroking. Something in Richard flares up at that and he starts moving until the bed underneath them gives a creaking sound, the headboard slamming against the wall and Lees fingers. Lee doesn´t care, is too far gone in his pleasure to notice, so Richard grabs both of the other mans hands, hindering him to hurt himself and to touch himself in the process.  
“Yeah, I am.”

Richard answers after eons but not really to Lees question, interlacing their fingers and slamming home until Lee cries out and shudders between him. The clenching around him is too much and draws him over the edge too. It takes him a moment to come back down and dislodge himself, flopping down next to Lee who has the stupidest grin on his face before turning to Richard.

“What are you grinning about?”

Richard murmurs, raking a hand through Lees hair, gently prodding at his head. There isn´t much swelling there anymore, a thing he is grateful for. Unfortunately he also has the time to sober up, gathering Lees clothes in his arms.

“What? Are you planning to throw me out? I thought you made up your mind about this.”

Lee says, gesturing between the two of them and Richard lets his shoulders fall a bit at his own stupidity. 

“No. I just. I don´t know what to do right now. You are messing with my plan you know. I had it all figured out. And now you come along and I don´t know what to do.”

Lee just throws Richard a grin, popping himself up on his elbows, shaking his head and scooting close again.

“Yes, you do. Come back to bed.”

And Richard, deciding that he is doomed and drunk with a gorgeous _naked_ man in his close proximity , does just that.


	5. Heaven ain´t a place on earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wow, you are really bad at apologizing.”
> 
> He murmurs scrunching up his face when the rain that had been looming for the entire morning over the resort starts to pour down. 
> 
> “Come on. I don´t want to catch a cold.”

The morning comes early and way to bright through the curtains of Richards bedroom for his liking and he turns slowly, stretching out his limbs, hand smacking into a hard chest. He breathes in slowly and out a little slower. He hats mornings like that, especially if his head is ringing like a church bell. The mental image makes him chuckle, then wince and so he decides to lay back down again before the body next to his moves. 

“Shit!”

Is all Lee states, frantically running around the room like a chicken with its head caught off in search for his pants. Richard watches and smirks, propped on his elbows. There are certain perks of having a naked man running around your bedroom in the morning, even if he stumbles over his shoes. Lee flops down on the bed again, trying to tie his shoes and giving up when his phone vibrates in his jacket. He doesn´t want to answer it but he gives up after the third missed call.

“Lee! You idiotic son of a-”

He probably shouldn´t have answered it on speaker, judged by Richards howling laughter. Without further warning he pinches the other mans side, narrowing his eyes. Richard only laughs harder, head propped up on one hand. 

“Just come back here in the next hour, I don´t think that Dad really believed the thing of you going for a run. It is sport, after all.”

Now Lee smirks, eyes sliding towards Richard. They had been _sportive_ that bit was sure. Sally just makes some retching noises and hangs up. 

“So.”

He says and looks at Richard from lowered lashes, looking so lost there that Richard pulls him close into a slow kiss that quickly deepens before he pulls away. 

“You should go. I could drive you, you know. Otherwise you won´t make it in time and we have the same way anyhow.”

He says and stills. This should end here , whatever it is but they both know it won´t from the looks of it, so he reaches for Lee, steals a cigarette from his pack and chuckles as Lee huffs in annoyance, hobbling around and finally into his jeans. 

“That´s not what I meant.”

Lee finally says and Richard sighs. He knows. He isn´t good at things like that but he likes Lee even if he is a bit younger than him. The sarcastic little voice in his head tells him that nine years is more than a bit but he swallows it down and reaches for the younger man. 

“You are throwing me off my game, you know?”

Raising an eyebrow Lee leans in closer, close enough to feel Richards breath on his face but not close enough to kiss. 

“Am I now? And is it bad?”

For a moment Richard considers before squeezing Lees jean clad buttocks, making the younger man gasp. 

“No. But we have to go or else this will be the least of my worries.” 

Lee knows that Richard is right but it takes him a moment to untangle himself from the older man with a sigh and an adorable pout. Naturally Richard isn´t fooled and finishes dressing. He is in dire need of a shave and a shower but he can do that at the studio too, so he drops Lee off close enough by the cabin his parents and him stay without being seen. It feels ridiculous and a bit creepy but on the other side of things it also makes him giddy and stupid enough to let himself be drawn into a kiss that is more than chaste before speeding off in the direction of the studio but not before plans for the evening are made. He knows he shouldn´t but still he wants. 

“So.”  
Luke says to him an hour later and Richard fights against the urge to scowl, toweling his hair dry and shoving Lukes feet off his desk yet again.   
“Alice from Wonderland ain´t a virgin anymore I take it?”  
The smirk Luke wears makes Richard grit his teeth for a moment and he shakes his head, not commenting on it. Luke won´t get a rise out of him when he had such a pleasant night. The memory makes him smile. 

“Oh, that good, yes?”  
The towel hits Luke square in the face before Richard turns up the volume of the music and starts his routine. He has to get his head free of everything except dancing right now but Luke won´t allow that.

“You know that Bloom wants to set him up with Orlando, right? Talk of the town.”

Richard stops mid pirouette, leg half raised and drops it. 

“So why would I care?”

He hears himself say over the bass of the music and all of a sudden he thinks back seven years and a bright eyed cheeky boy in his arms, promising him the world and him doing the same, foolish as he was. Luke just shrugs. 

“I don´t know. I am just under the impression you like him. Maybe you should think about it before this goes further?”

Richard says nothing to that and finishes his routine and he is thankful that Luke drops the subject until he walks into Lee on the way to the staff kitchen.   
“Hey.”  
Lee says quietly, looking at his feet and smiling.   
“Hey.”  
Richard hears himself say and he wonders why on earth Lee is carrying a watermelon until the younger man tells him that he got roped into helping preparing the buffet for the nights dinner. 

“Oh, so will be attending, all flashy in a tux?”  
He grinned, taking the melon from Lees hands and carrying it to the kitchen. Lee grimaced.  
“I would love to just stay in and read something. I think Mr.Bloom wants to announce happy news.”  
Shoving his hands into his pockets he stilled, closing his eyes. Richard felt kind of sick but yet he had to ask.   
“What kind of news?”  
Lee stared into the distance.   
“I don´t want to know that. I really don´t because the way my father smiled – it kind of gave me the creeps.”  
He shuddered a bit and Richard bit back the smile that threatened to break out on his face again. 

“And no, there won´t be a tux. You will be there too, won´t you?”

Yes, Richard would be there but he only would oversee the people dancing there and doing his routine, the one that won´t give Mr.Bloom an heart attack. Lee licked his lips, staring at the stove for a moment before clearing his throat. It is only then that Richard realizes he hadn´t answered. 

“Yes.”  
The silence between them is heavy and it smells stale but that also could be the kitchen they are in, staff coming in and going out of the doors. The buffet is always a rather dull affair and Richard hates it from the way Lee talks about it already. Placing the melon on a table he turns only to come face to face with Lee again. 

“Lee.”  
He starts and takes an huge unneeded breath he wasn´t aware he had been holding. It seems awkward, especially when Orlando of all people walks into the room and looks at them , a small smile on his face. 

“Can I borrow him for a moment Richard?”

For a moment there Richard wants to protest and say there is no need to ask that but instead he feels himself nodding. Orlando has been nothing but friendly to him and he seems troubled. Richard has a neck for knowing when someone is in trouble or about to do something considered stupid. He has done his fair share of stupid things in his life. He feels like a creep for slinking out of the kitchen and following them, blames it on the look Lee had given him a few hours earlier while talking about the things he really wanted to do instead of _this._ It isn´t the mature thing to do, he knows but since when does the heart agree with the mind. _Wait, what?_

Orlando takes a breath, looks around, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. 

“Thank you for helping me. Helping us.”

At that Richard frowns, still hidden in the shadows and feeling a little ridiculous for hiding. Lee just smiles at Orlando, lighting up a cigarette. 

“No problem. I am just close to a heart attack that much sooner since the two of you roped me into this but hey.”

Orlando just laughs at the look on Lees face and ruffles his hair and Richard is trapped, can´t move a muscle and keeps watching. What the hell is this about? 

“We already packed and the car is fueled up so that should give us a head start. There isn´t much my father can do anyway but it feels – well.”

Oh Lee knows what it feels like but takes just a drag of his cigarette and stubs his out with the heel of his boot after a while, raking a hand through his hair. 

“I know what you mean. I ..uh..”

He says a flush creeping up his face and turning his ears a lovely shade of red that makes him look much younger than he really is. Richard watches, feeling for a moment as if someone doused him in icy water when he hears his name tumble from Orlandos lips, fearing he might have been spotted only to realize that they are talking about him. 

“You like Richard, don´t you?”

Lee just grins and wriggles his eyebrows making Orlando laugh and cuff him over the head. 

“Hey! Watch the hair.”  
At that Orlando just snorts because that on Lees head -it couldn´t be possibly called a haircut which he tells Lee and Lee in turn grabs him and and messes up his well tamed hair.   
“God you´re such a child sometimes.”  
Orlando mock scowls and laughs all the same before growing serious again.   
“Seriously, you like him, don´t you?”

Lee takes another one of those breaths and Richard, feeling more creepy than ever watches as Lee closes his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. It makes him throw the reservations over board, taking s step forward until a hand is placed on his shoulder and he would have jumped a mile in the air and screamed wouldn´t it have been for the hand covering his mouth. Turning he stares at Viggo who looks serious like always making a shushing gesture with his hand. 

“I do.” 

Lee says and he seems so far away and looks so mature right there that Richard wonders for a moment if that is the same man who had shared his bed just this morning. Orlando just clasps him on the shoulder and the odd feeling Richard has dissolves when Viggo all but drags him over to the other men.

“Look who I stumbled across.”

He says and Orlando curses while Lee pales. 

“Fuck, we should have discussed this elsewhere.”

Discussed what and where Richard wants to ask but Viggo just shakes his head in amusement. 

“He came here a minute ago, so your plans to take over the world are quite save I assume.”

That makes Richard blink and nod. Better play along now even if he doubts that there are really plans made that include taking over the world. There is awkward silence until Lee grasps Richard by the arm.

“Well, then there is no choice, is there.”

Lees eyes are dark and for a moment Richard has all kind of things running through his head from the idiotic notion that Orlando or Lee might overheard him lurking in the shadows to the other idiotic idea that they really plan to overtake the world – or the resort while he is dragged into a three house. Lee tries to keep the blush down but isn´t really able to. 

“You know, I wouldn´t be surprised if there would be those funny little tea cups in here somewhere.”

He says after a while, adjusting his eyes to the dimly lit interior of what is the abandoned tree house of Lees big sister. Wordlessly Lee stands, gets some of the pink cups out and fills them with beer. Richard tries really not to laugh but he doesn´t succeed. 

“So , let me get this straight. You two are going to – elope. And your father is practically the only one on this compound not already in on it believing that Lee here – and you, Orlando – are more than you are.”

Orlando sips the beer out of the plastic cup with as much grace as he is able too. 

“Yes. Now Lee here was willing to distract my father tonight, so the plan could finally get into motion because the big news my father wanted to tell everyone tonight is that he plans to gift me the resort, if I get married.”

Richard raises both eyebrows, Viggo sighs.   
“Obviously not to me. He hates me – even more than you.”  
That makes Richard wince and swallow his beer down in one large gulp.   
“I see. And what would be the ultimate distraction?”  
Lee cleared his throat. 

“Well, first I thought about crashing a car and ...”

Richard stares and asks him if he is insane but Lee stops his rambling about how that couldn´t be possible what he has on his mind. 

“However. You did tell me about your dance routine, didn´t you. And I thought if we pretended and danced Orlandos father here. .”

Richard holds up his hand.   
“I can´t.”  
He says and the next words out of his mouth are out so fast that he has to blink and see the look of hurt on Lees face. 

“I can´t because I bet with some of the guys that I would bed you.”

He is prepared for everything but not for Lee to simply stand and give him a sad smile. 

“Ah. Well then. I am sure you can distract everyone on your own. If you excuse me.”

Viggo is the first to clear his throat after Lee has left. 

“I fucked that up, didn´t I?”

He hears himself say and Orlando says nothing, just stares at him without a word. There is nothing in his gaze betraying what he feels but he shakes his head.

“You heard us. You weren´t just passing by. Why did you have to do that?”

Richard closes his eyes against the guilt that comes up and he bolts upright going after Lee. He doesn´t know why he said it but a little part of him suggests that he wanted to chase Lee away before things could grow more serious. _Coward_ , another voice much like someone he once knew yells at him in his mind while he stomps through every nook and cranny of the resort, finally finding Lee on the shore of the lake.

“Go away.”

Lee says and Richard closes his eyes at how rough the younger mans voice sounds. 

“I can´t.”

His heart is racing against his ribcage but Lee stays calm.

“Why? Want another laugh at my expanse? I mean if all you wanted was a Onenight Stand – okay – I could have lived with that but this..”

Silence stretches between them.

“Lee. Please listen to me. I – I am not very good at this. I never should have agreed on that stupid bet.”

Lee says nothing, just hums, throwing stones into the lake without turning around. 

“And there is another thing.”

This is harder than he thought but he doesn´t dare to touch Lee or to think too much about the next words that want to leave his mouth. 

“You don´t need to lie to me to make me feel better, really.”

Lee says before he can say anything but there is something hot and heavy throbbing inside him since the first time he laid eyes on the other man. Something he has sworn himself never to let happen again but then again the heart is a traitor. 

“It´s not a lie. It´s something worse. “

At that Lee turns, eyes still red and giving away the fact that he had been crying in the last two hours since Richards slip of tongue. 

“Oh? Do tell. I am all for seeing you squirm a little. How you will weasel your way out of that situation.”

He gets that the younger man is angry and hurt but he doesn´t know about Richards past, about the things that have made him the man he is today.

“I am not trying to. I am trying to apologize to you for doing that in the first place. I never really -well there was this bet going on and I just not denied it so – the point is .. I am scared.”

That tears a laugh from Lee and he stands, looking Richard straight in the eye. 

“Didn´t know that I am scary.”

He says flatly but grabs Richards face in both hands, fingers in his hair and Richard mirrors the gesture, just standing there for a moment talking in low tones. 

“I am scared because I know you´re not a kid and because I think of all the things I would like to do with you. And I am scared because I know I will just fuck that up for someone like you.”

Lee says nothing for a moment but then he smiles and starts to laugh, not moving away but closer instead. 

“Wow, you are really bad at apologizing.”

He murmurs scrunching up his face when the rain that had been looming for the entire morning over the resort starts to pour down. 

“Come on. I don´t want to catch a cold.”

Richard wonders for a moment what has happened but lets himself be dragged through bushes and branches until they reach a secluded cabin.   
“My hideout if I can´t stand it anymore.”  
Lee says in a sad voice that makes Richard swallow the anger he feels at himself but Lee just takes his face into his hands again, presses their foreheads together.   
“You know, I am still mad at you for the bet thing but other than that. I like you. I really do and I want you to think about that.”

Richards head still feels like cotton – fuzzy and dreamlike but he mouths a hardly audible _okay_ before he walks Lee further into the cabin, planting a kiss on his mouth, all tongue teeth at first but growing slow and deep as the world around them is submerged in pouring rain.


	6. Wise men say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lees mother looks like she is about to faint, his sister gapes and Lee, well he feels like as if he is dreaming. God, he hopes he is dreaming, that isn´t happening. 
> 
> “You get your hands off of him, right now.”
> 
> Richard says and takes a menacing step closer. Luke, unfazed, bats his eyelashes at him. 
> 
> “Why? Already laid a claim on that ho-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here I am again :D  
> I just can´t let those boys go for too long, but I am happy either way. :D  
> I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do and have a great start into the weekend :)

There are many times Richard thought of himself less than a knight in shining armor but right now he feels more like a beggar than he ever had, his arms draped loosely around Lees shoulders. 

“I meant what I said Richard.”

He hears Lee say and he wonders for a moment what the younger man means before he slips out of his embrace with a heartfelt sigh and a lick of his lips, eyes focusing on the other man intently. When Richard just blinks, Lee sighs again, flopping down on the nearest chair, wondering why on earth nothing in life could be easy as in a cheap movie. In a cheap movie, the things would go like that. They would just stare at each other for another moment , declare their love for another and fall into bed before the curtain is drawn. But this, this is real life and he sits on a chair that he is too tall for sitting on in comfort for long with a gorgeous Englishman right in front of him who in turn doesn´t seem know what is up and down. Well, maybe it was a bit like a movie. 

“The thinking thing?”

He winched at his choice of words, wondering for a moment if his old teachers would come along and whack him over the head with a ruler before he looks at Richard again, grabs his hands in his own to have something to hold on to for the moment. 

“Right. Its just hard to concentrate when you´re busy beating yourself up for being an asshole, is all love.”

Richard says with a flush before he takes a step closer, pulling Lee up from his chair and wrapping his arms around the younger man who is shaking. For a moment he thinks this will end there and go into another direction but Lee just sneezes and even his ears turn pink before he laughs and wants to say something more just before his phone vibrates. With a sigh and a slight curse he answers the call from Orlando, smiling when the other man asks if he is interrupting mind numbing Sex to which Lee just replies with a _not yet_ before hanging up and dragging Richard further into the cabin, pushing him down into a beanbag and goes through the little kitchenette for some cups and tea, coming up empty handed but smiling when he finds a bottle of champagne. 

“Uh, what is the occasion?”

Richard says, eyes on the pouring rain outside that probably won´t lessen all day but right now he is fine where he is, trying not to give into the desire to laugh at the absurdity of drinking champagne out of plastic cups with a man he barely knows but likes. He knows he is skating on thin ice here but he also is certain that Lee, however good he is with emotions, can´t read his mind. He really hopes nobody can do that, because then the world would be a very interesting place for him. For a moment there, the image of people chasing him down the road with pitchforks shoots through his head before he blinks and turns the cup in his hands, eyebrows raised at Lee who flops down right between his legs, also holding a cup and taking a sip.

“Don´t know. Has there to be any?”

He asks and tilts his head back with a smile that makes Richard lean forward and steal a kiss that goes on a moment too long for being innocent and he just knows he isn´t the only one having a hard time (without a pun being intended) when Lee just blinks up at him, licking his lips. 

“Maybe we could drink to Orlando and Viggo? How they are brave enough or some shit like that?”

At the mention of the other men Richard feels a wave a nausea roll over him because the plan, that stupid plan that had started all that in the first place comes rushing back at him. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Lee asks quietly and Richard stands, moves around Lee and towers over him for minute or two, time ticking by slowly but unforgiving. 

“Don´t do something stupid. With that car. It´s a bloody stupid idea. We can do the dance routine if you still want to but not ..”

Lee looks up at him but doesn´t question it further. He has learned pretty good to judge looks like that on people in the past and he also knows that in time there will come the moment that the other man will tell him what is on his mind if he still wants to do so. For now he lets it go. 

“You said that isn´t a good idea. If I may remind you.”

He is still hurt at the whole betting thing, maybe a little more than he lets on. Richard doesn´t move from the spot he is standing in, shoves his hands in his pockets. 

“So..another plan then.” 

They part once it stops to rain but not without a few more lingering kisses that leave them both wanting more without admitting it for the sake of sanity right now. And Lee really wants Richard to think about everything that happened between them, wondering for a moment what on earth is happening to him. 

“Hey Brother.”

Sally says good three hours later when he finally makes it back to their place and gives him a look. He knows that look, thank you very much and he doesn´t want to know what´s causing it. 

“Hey.”

He says, staring into the obscenely large mirror in her room but she stays silent for as long as she can. It is only five minutes or so, but he gives her credit for trying.

“You should tell Dad.”

Before he can say anything she rolls her eyes. 

“So what is the big deal if you tell him about that hot dance instructor. I bet he is quite ...limber.”  
She means it to tease but Lee flushes and her eyes widen for a moment. 

“Really?”

Before she can pester him further his mother knocks on her door, rattling about how on earth they could be her children and not yet being dressed for Dinner. 

“Mom, Dinner starts in an hour. And Lee won´t wear a tux anyways so why do you bother.”  
She throws her arms in the air but Lee knows his sister is right because his mind is elsewhere. He wants to help Orlando, seeing as the both of them are friends and he knows the feeling all too well to be pressed into roles he didn´t want to be. 

Unbeknownst to Lee, Richard has thought of another plan and Luke stares at him, holding his sides while _howling_ in laughter. 

“You serious, mate?”

Richard just shrugs, a hairs breath away from being annoyed and remembering that Luke is his friend before he nods. 

“Yeah, you in?”

Luke just wriggles his eyebrows and chuckles. He has to wipe tears away from his face but he agrees to the madness that seemingly has come over his friend. 

“Alright, but you´ll owe me for that.”

Oh, Richard knows and he isn´t pleased at that but he is grateful that Luke has agrees without further comment.  
By the time the formal Dinner starts Lee looks like he is about to get hanged because he just knows why his father smiles so much. 

“Come on son. Orlando is here too. There is no need to look like that. You should be happy.”

Lee gives a snort, righting his tie and sighing. He still hasn´t come up with a plan that would be distracting enough for Orlando and Viggo to slip out of the crowded ballroom without noticing. At least, he thinks a little bitter and right through the main course – they wear the same defeated expression and he raises his champagne flute which makes Orlando shake his head with a weary smile. 

“That´s the spirit boy.”

Now, if Lee wouldn´t have manners, by god he would tell his father were in the world he could shove his manners and frowns only slightly when on the way back from the restroom he sees Richard and Luke talk, heads pressed together. 

“Oh don´t mind them.”  
Mr. Bloom tells him, clapping him on the back and making him hiss.  
“They are going through tonights entertainment routine.”  
Is all he says but Lee suddenly has a feeling that is not all there is to it. He would have loved to go over to Richard but he didn´t think that it would go over well with the way Bloom senior glared at Richard. Taking a break he leaves the room , going for a smoke when a pair of arms drags him back into a loose embrace that is well out of sight. 

“Hey there, coming to my rescue from a boring dinner and plans I am not agreeing with?”

He tries but Richard doesn´t smile, he just turns Lee around, cornering him against a tree and shushing him. 

“Whatever happens in the next twenty minutes, please promise me you play along. I don´t have much time to explain it right now but it is better than the car thing.”

To say that Lee is curious is the understatement of the century but he just blinks owlishly and nods to which Richard gives him a half smile, playing with the hair on the back of neck because he can´t resist it. Pulling away he takes a breath, letting himself be dragged into a kiss that is over much too soon, complaining jokingly that Lee always smells like cigarettes.

“I could switch brands.”

Lee jokes, winking and throwing Richard a grin before heading inside once again. His father just looks at him and he raises both eyebrows. 

“What?”

He says and munches on his salad, stubbornly ignoring all attempts at being talked to. So what if he behaves like a brat? Chewing away on a tomato he notices that the dance routine has started and frowns because while both Luke and Richard are on the dancefloor, Orlando slowly rises to his feet, making excuses to his father. He can see that the older man isn´t happy for he already had made an announcement in his speech that something important would be declared before the night is over.  
Only then Lee notices that Luke is dancing over to their table.

“Come on, Richard told me he gave you lessons. Let´s see how that worked out.”

Lee all but chokes on his tomato when Luke drags him under Richards gaze into the middle of the dance floor while the rest of his family just watches. Well, his sister cackles and snorts very much unlike a lady until her mother reminds her of where they are with a glare that could freeze anything in its surrounding radius on the spot. Luke pulls him close, too close to be decent and his eyes widen a bit as Richard drops the hands of the guest he is dancing with. Luke just gives him a wink. 

“Oh boy, you are gonna own me for that, lad.” 

He says and Lee can´t even get the _Huh?_ out that he wants because Luke grabs his ass and dips him low which causes a few wolf whistles and heads to turn. The source for the turning of heads isn´t them alone but Richard who weaves through the crowd with a murderous stare until he can pat Luke on the back.

“Hey, Armitage. Want a taste, too? We could share, he looks pretty much up for it.”

Lee takes in a breath, looking for all the world like a fish out of water . _w´What the hell?_. The room grows quiet, all eyes on them and out of the corner of his eye he can see his father slowly rise to his face.  
“Take that back, Evans.”  
Luke just grins.  
“Why? I bet he likes being fucked, don´t you?”  
Lees mother looks like she is about to faint, his sister gapes and Lee, well he feels like as if he is dreaming. God, he hopes he is dreaming, that isn´t happening. 

“You get your hands off of him, right now.”

Richard says and takes a menacing step closer. Luke, unfazed, bats his eyelashes at him. 

“Why? Already laid a claim on that ho-”

He doesn´t even get to finish the sentence before Richard punches him straight in the face, yelling that he should get his bloody paws of his boyfriend while Lee, with utter horror witnesses, like everyone else in the room for that matter, how Luke flies into the once neat salad buffet, landing with a groan. Suddenly he realizes what that was about, eyes wide and unblinking, mouth moving without words coming out. Not that it matters, for his response is swallowed by Richards kiss and he lets himself be pulled in and under. God, they were _fucked_. And worse, he didn´t give a damn as Richard dragged him out of the room and away from at least a dozen shocked pairs of eyes.


	7. The Lucky Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Get into the car.” 
> 
> Richard hissed behind him and he blinked, turned his head so fast around something in his neck made a cringe worthy noise.
> 
> “Are you insane?”
> 
> He was beyond asking quietly and had reached the point of yelling at the top of his lungs while Luke clambered into the drivers seat, staring at them both, jaw aching. 
> 
> “You know what you two need? Therapy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the next chapter :D I am still enyoying this story very much and hope you like it too. Thank you for the feedback so far :) <3

Lee still felt like he was in a dream. Honestly, by the point he saw his father rise from his seat and make his way through the throng of people surrounding them it began to feel more like a nightmare. A manic giggle tried to escape him but he stayed quiet and let himself be dragged out of the room, seeing from the corner of his eye how Luke tried to pluck tomatoes from his hair. Oddly enough that seemed to be the most normal thing at the moment. 

“Get into the car.” 

Richard hissed behind him and he blinked, turned his head so fast around something in his neck made a cringe worthy noise.

“Are you insane?”

He was beyond asking quietly and had reached the point of yelling at the top of his lungs while Luke clambered into the drivers seat, staring at them both, jaw aching. 

“You know what you two need? Therapy.”

He groused but Richard just grabbed Lee by the shoulders, shaking him for a moment. 

“Enough. You can be mad at me later, right now we have to get away from here, or do you want to answer any questions now?”

No, that wasn´t on Lees agenda but his mind was whirling and spinning around like a roller coaster. For a moment he thought he might even get sick like he had done when he was still a child the one time they had gone to an amusement park. Ten minutes into their drive Lee found that he indeed wasn´t dreaming. 

“So that was your grand plan? You should have let me get through with mine.”

So he was a little bit stubborn but who cared? He sighed for good measure and closed his eyes against all the questions that came unbidden to him . 

“Oh great plan. You could have died you stupid prick.”

He opened his eyes , gaze flickering to Richard who looked at him with blazing eyes and he gave into the childish need to narrow his own instead of asking where the hell they were driving to. Luke, despite his throbbing jaw, also felt a massive headache come his way. Soon enough they reached the airfield that usually was occupied by private planes of the more wealthy clients. Slowly something dawned on Lee. 

“And you are crazy.”

He whispered but before Richard could say anything he climbed out of the car and made his way over to where Orlando and Viggo were loading luggage into the private plane belonging to Orlandos father. A chuckle rose in his throat when Orlando beamed at him and drew him into bone crushing hug.

“Well then.”

There wasn´t really much to say and he was happy for the two of them, yet there were other things on his mind. Seeing as Orlando nodded to someone behind him the goodbye fell short and Lee took the time to breath in for the first time in what seemed like ages. His gaze flickered to Luke, whose eye began to swell shut but he didn´t comment further on it, just shuffled from left to right, a blush starting to creep over his face as the reality of the last hour began to sink in. Richard cleared his throat and moved from the spot he was leaning against the car. 

“You want to drive back to the resort?”

Lee stared at him as if he had grown another head and Luke rolled his good eye, gazing back and forth between the two of them, whistling through his teeth, slinging an arm around Richards shoulders.

“After the night I had – I will take my car and the two of you – well. I am sure you can find a place to stay. If I am not mistaken your place isn´t far, is it?”

Richard looked at Luke for a moment as if he was about to hit him again before he nodded, looking at Lee. Awkward was really just starting to describe the situation they were in. 

“Well, come on then.”

He tried and Lee followed him in a daze, eyes going to the horizon were the plane with the other two men was on it´s way to god knows where. A laugh began to built in the back of his throat, bursting out of him and into the still of the night. Richard tried not to feel affected by it but it was in vain.

“Oh shut up.”

Lees eyes crinkled at the corners. 

“Or what, _boyfriend_?”

That made Richard stop and look at the other man. The thoughts he had, well – they weren´t really about Luke or focused on Orlando and Viggo. If he would have admitted it, it would have been clear he wasn´t thinking with his brain at all, so the sentence escaping him really isn´t his fault. 

“Or I will stop caring that we are in the middle of nowhere and have you right there in the bushes.”

Lee lets out a shocked little gasp at that but he isn´t really against the idea entirely but as romantic as it sounds, he tells Richard that he would prefer a bed after all. 

“If you can wait, that is.”

Richard doesn´t move a muscle and now, much to his own irony starts to _think_. He thinks that he is twenty nine years old and probably out of a job come morning, has to pack up and leave everything behind. Yes, he is crazy but he also is beyond caring when he drags Lee in by the lapels of his jacket, pressing their lips together in the middle of the street that leads up to his private quarters. Lee gives him another breathless laugh and dances a few paces away, loosening his tie. 

“No bushes. I don´t like bug bites on my ass, _boyfriend_. So, lead the way – kidnap me for all I care but do something except the bush thing because, yuck.”

 

Richard simply laughs. It is a quiet night, nothing of the happenings seems to have caused much of an uproar, but then again they are not in the resort and the consequences will come sooner or later. Fumbling with his keys and cursing the older man turns, faces Lee and sighs.

“I am sorry.”

He hears himself say and Lee raises his eyebrows, because the list of things Richard could be sorry for seems to be long. Richard himself knows that , too. Gritting his teeth and shouldering the door open he flops down on the nearest chair. 

“About?”

Lee says, standing in the doorway, looking for all the world like a present ready to unwrap. 

“About the boyfriend thing.”

Something flickers in Lees face but it is gone before Richard can lay a finger on it and Lee just crouches down, inspects his bruised knuckles. 

“I am not.”

He says quietly, voice low. Richard feels his heart pound in his chest before he pushes Lee away, ignoring the sound the younger man makes once he lands on his behind before _crawling_ over him. 

“You ....”

Richard mutters, mapping the skin from Lees throat to his collarbone with his lips before the younger man can protest, ripping at his clothes , sending buttons flying every which way. He wants to say something witty, something that sounds at least more mature than he feels but apparently his brain is off scuba diving in the Bahamas and his groin has taken over everything else for the time being. Lee shudders under him and he realizes that they are on the floor before he scrambles back and pulls the American up and against him. There are points in your life where you just need one more chance. He knows it is probably his last chance to back out and away, send Lee back to his parents and tell him that this is still about some stupid bet with stupid friends or for the sake of Orlando and Viggo, but they both know that there is more to it than that.

“I what?”

Richard steps back, licks his lips. 

“You are wearing too many clothes.”  
That makes Lee grin toothily and shrug out of the aforementioned clothes leaving him standing there in nothing but shorts and socks that do not match. Richard is so charmed by that for a moment that he sinks to his knees, leaving a biting kiss on Lees inner thigh, making him moan. 

“New kink of yours?”

Richard gently lets go of Lees skin and looks up at him, grinning. 

“I am a vampire, love. “

He says all serious and Lee laughs.

“Sure and I am the Queen of England, Rich.”

It comes out as a cross between a giggle and a moan when Richards mouth inches closer to his erection, straining against the fabric of his underwear. There is a slight tremor traveling through Lees body and Richard stops. 

“Bedroom.”

He simply comments and they make it there embarrassingly fast to the still rumpled bed. Richard has the grace to flush, disrobing in record time, like Lee. He wonders for a moment if there is a Guinness record for that but dismisses the thought when he sees Lee spread out on the bed, cock tending the front of his underwear. 

“Did I mention naked?”

Lee gives him a coy look, palming his erection and moaning a little. 

“No, but it would make sense.”

That utter _brat_ , Richard thinks before he pounces and they tumble down onto the mattress without further warning. That makes Lee look up and he takes in a much needed breath. He thinks of running away, just letting it all happen but for now he just lets his fingers stray into Richards hair, eyes opening again before he swallows and lets himself be consumed by kisses Richard plants on his body, circling his navel with his tongue before moving further down the younger mans body, tongue exploring between his legs and dipping into his entrance. 

“Oh, _Fuck_ ”

Richard swallows the reply he wants to give but manages to finger Lee open just the same, letting his tongue come into play until the man beneath him is a quivering mess. There are fingers digging into his shoulder – without doubt leaving marks and Richard, well – he could care less as he frantically searches for the lube he had thrown somewhere the last time but stops when Lee chuckles and hands him the tube, grinning. A very charming man, indeed. 

“Come one, don´t you dare letting me wait.”

It comes out quiet but strained because Richard knows that look. He has seen it on different people throughout his life and he sometimes wishes he wouldn´t remember all those moments and people before he concentrates on Lee and slicks up, shaking fingers grabbing for a condom. It takes another moment for them to connect and he stops when he sees the flicker of pain on Lees face, knows he shouldn´t care but does. Lee just looks at him, slack jawed and eyes wide, fingers digging into his skin even more and lips in search for his own. A series of little kisses, sloppy and not coordinated but there is a message behind them as well. 

“Ah _yes_ ”

Lee breathes and Richard smirks, bites him into his ear because he feels like it and the reaction to it proves that the man under him is all his for now and maybe a bit longer. He wishes for it to go on longer but Lee is tight around him and he makes the prettiest noises when Richard changes his angle and the thrusts are just _right_

“Yeah, like that. Can you ...like that?”

He presses forth and Lee just tightens his long legs around his waist, taking it all in until he cries out, spilling prettily between them. Richard would love to prolong it but he just can´t and follows after a few thrusts and stills atop the younger man, catching his breath. 

“We should stop meeting like that. Maybe have dinner first.” 

It sounds from far away and Richard laughs into Lees sweaty hair before dis tangling himself from the younger man. Reality is a thing that should stay outdoors but refuses to do so when Lees phone rings. 

“You should be taking that, shouldn´t you?”

Richard tries for distance but Lee just moves around on the bed after he is not so boneless anymore, pressing his cheek into Richards neck with a smile. 

“Yeah, there are many things I should do but – the thing is -I don´t want to. I am not much for drama or anything so...”

He stands and searches for his clothes again but gives a squeak when he is pulled back into a pair of now familiar arms. Lee just gives Richard a look and he understands at once. With a final glance he shuts off his phone, gives Richard a peck on the lips and lets himself be pulled back under the covers. Reality could wait.


	8. Life on Mars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I never said that. You are my son. And I accept everything and everyone in your life.” 
> 
> Lee laughs and it comes out bitter. Much more bitter than either of them had expected apparently because his father simply stares at him, unblinking. 
> 
> “What you meant to say is that you accept everyone in my life who is like _you_. I hate to break it to you, dad but that isn´t how the world works anymore. And if you don´t want me in that little world of yours anymore, well than, I think, I think the few months until I go off to collage I will find a place to stay with someone who understands me. “
> 
> His father doesn´t react, just sips his coffee and after what seems like an eternity he gives Lee another look.
> 
> “If that is what you want, I can´t stop you anymore. And I won´t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all - thank you for the feedback so far. As of yet I don´t know how long this story will go on, but I hope you still enjoy it. :)

The morning is chilly. There could be a lot of reasons for that, ranging from the weather to the broken heating system in the staff quarters but Richard knows that the chill he feels is not because of that. No, the reason for that is lying next to him, snoring softly. He sighs, stands up and searches for cigarettes, cursing when he trips over his shoes, nearly falling. The low chuckle that gets him makes him turn his head at breakneck speed and Lee can´t help it. He chuckles more and is shaking by the time Richard pulls the covers away and makes him shriek. 

He feels so much younger all of a sudden, even if he isn´t that much older than Lee. Well, nearly a decade, but it could be worse, he muses and engages in a tickle fight that shouldn´t feel as good as it does and leaves them breathless in the end, tangled around each other. He sighs against Lees collarbone, breathing in the scent that makes him reckless, drives him wild. He should be more mature than that, but he doesn´t want to be. 

Lee chuckles, eyes glinting in the dimly lit room before he gives a heartfelt sigh and asks Richard for some clothes to borrow because he doesn´t want to put on his tux. Which is ruined anyway and the memories of the previous night leave him flushed and with other thoughts than what his parents might say to the things that happened last night. That thought alone drives all desire out of him and he closes his eyes against the upcoming headache. 

 

“You okay?”

Richard says and strokes a lock of his hair out of his face. Lee really wants to tell him that everything is fine but he isn´t sure. He thinks about Viggo and Orlando before he things about all the other things that are already planned for him, without him wanting them. He has had a lot of dreams and boy does that sound like something out of a paperback novel. He chuckles and looks at Richard.

“I should ask the same. It was you who risked your career for _my_ friends. I should thank you for that.”

The rest of the sentence is swallowed because he puts on a sweater of Richard that smells just like him and when he emerges his hair is a mess and Richard tries to hold in the laugh he feels bubbling up in his chest but can´t. 

“God. Look at you.”

Lee just grins and wriggles his eyebrows, eying his phone as if it could bite him any moment. When he reaches for it, his hand shakes the slightest bit and he swallows once he turns it on. In hindsight, things could have been very worse. There a few texts from his sister, asking where the hell he would be and then another that he doesn´t dare to repeat to Richard because the words in it suggest that she knows far more on the matter of sexual intercourse between men than a brother would want to know from his sister. 

“And – is the world ending yet?”

Richard whispers against his ear, making him shiver and he turns with a little smile, brushing their noses together in the movement.   
“No. Apparently my father wanted to deck Luke again for what he said before you punched him but we were faster and he took to nursing Whiskey for the rest of the evening, no doubt cursing my existence a bit in the process, even if Sally told me otherwise -.” 

He took a much needed breath, not giving Richard the time to reply to his ramblings at all.

“My mother hasn´t said anything at all but there is Sherry missing, so that explains that. It could be worse, I guess. Oh and Bloom senior, well, he still looks like an overripe tomato and wants to see you in his office.”

Richard cringed at that, also dressing. 

“Well, then I better go.”

He says, trying not to feel like he is marching up to the gallows to be hanged. The hand on his arm is as warm as he remembers from the previous night and just minutes ago that seemed like hours. 

 

“I could go there -with you. Together.”

He was rambling again but it didn´t matter. Richard shook his head, looking at the other man for a moment. 

“No. I really appreciate that but that I have to do on my own. Besides, you have things to do yourself. If I can´t weasel out of them, love, neither can you.”

Lee gives that sigh again he always gives when something doesn´t go his way, a flaw no doubt carried with from his childhood but after a minute he gives a little _okay_ that makes Richard lift up his chin. 

“Believe me, I don´t want you to go. I don´t know what the hell this between us but I very much want it.”

God knows that he shouldn`t say something like that to someone he barely knows but the way Lee looks at their feet and avoids gazing at him for a minute there he knows he isn´t alone in this mess. Whatever it is. There is a voice in his head, sounding a lot like Bloom whispering that Lee would never stay with someone not knowing how to make ends meet most of the time, that Lee has a future, could be a lawyer or something like that. But then Lee looks at him again, eyes strangely wet and swallows.

“I don´t know what to do.”

He sounds much younger than he is and Richard assumes that statement isn´t only about the two of them but also about the other things in Lees life. So, in the end he makes a decision for both of them and tells Lee that they should go their separate ways for now and meet up later. He doesn´t even ask if Lee is okay with that because he doesn´t want the younger man to throw away parts of his life just on a whim. _Like you did Richard, remember that?_ , the little nasty voice in his head tells him and he clears his throat, shaking his head when Lee asks him something. 

“What?”

Richard tries for charming but it comes out as confused and Lee gives a sigh, rummaging through the nightstand until he finds a pen and paper, scribbling down his number. 

“Call me. I want to know what happens. _Please_.”

For someone that is probably wet behind the ears on some regard the boy has cheek, he has to give him that. With one last look and a kiss that falls between too short and too long they finally part. It is seldom that Lee prays, but each step he makes towards the cabin his family and him stay in gets harder. He feels like he is held down by something and part of him wants to turn around and run back to Richard but he knows that this has to be done. Not because it is necessary but because he _wants_ it. 

The image of his father sitting outside and staring at the lake is something he doesn´t expect. His father is a quiet man. Quiet in his joy, quiet in his anger. Right now, he seems to feel nothing, he just stares out onto the lake. It is too cold to sit outside but Lee doesn´t want to point that out.

“Sit.”

It isn´t even a question and he wants to protest, thinks he is old enough to do so but he keeps silent and does as he is told. Told, not _asked_. Inwardly he bristles. 

“Well, do you have nothing to say to me? And what on earth are you wearing, Lee?”

His hands tremble and he fists them in his sweater. No, _Richards_ sweater and he looks at his father for the first time in his life with something that is close to hatred. He doesn´t like it, not one bit but he can´t take it anymore, he simply _can´t_

“Everything you have to say to me is that my clothes are not to your liking? That is all that matters to you? Appearance? I can´t believe you. You drag me here, every year, trample on my dreams and everything I have to say – only in the hope to set me up with someone I don´t love.”

His father never was someone that got loud but today it made his blood boil. 

“And you love someone because he makes you promises and lets you wear his clothes? Because you had Sex? God your are more naive than I thought. I wonder how you ever made it into collage.”

He felt tears build in his eyes but he stood his ground, mouth clenching shut before he opens it again to form words that simply won´t stay in his mouth any longer. He can see the outline of his sister in the doorway, her face solemn and drawn.

 

“I am sorry that I am such a disappointment to you. If you can talk with Bloom, maybe you could adopt Orlando and I do what I can best, don´t I. Fuck it up, your reputation.”

His father looks at him again, eyes sharp and a hint sad but he is too furious to see it. 

“I never said that. You are my son. And I accept everything and everyone in your life.” 

Lee laughs and it comes out bitter. Much more bitter than either of them had expected apparently because his father simply stares at him, unblinking. 

“What you meant to say is that you accept everyone in my life who is like _you_. I hate to break it to you, dad but that isn´t how the world works anymore. And if you don´t want me in that little world of yours anymore, well than, I think, I think the few months until I go off to collage I will find a place to stay with someone who understands me. “

His father doesn´t react, just sips his coffee and after what seems like an eternity he gives Lee another look.

“If that is what you want, I can´t stop you anymore. And I won´t.”

 

Once his father has left to go inside, his sister runs up to him and cradles him into his arms and he just stands there and feels her words more than he hears them by his ear when his phone chirps. He turns away from her with a little grateful smile, phone tucked against his ear. 

“Yes?”

He says and it sounds dangerously close to a sob once Richards voice drifts glibly over the line and tells him that he wants to meet in an hour, pausing for a moment there. 

“I think, we need to talk. A lot.”

He sounds like Lee feels but Lee agrees and hangs up. Sally puts a warm hand on his shoulder and he turns. She says nothing, just gives him another hug and he hopes that something good will come out of all of that.


	9. What the heart wants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I would have told you about that.”
> 
> Richard spoke quietly after a while, his voice ringing loudly on the otherwise silent porch and into the night. 
> 
> “Richard. I don´t care about that. I am mad as hell at my father for saying something like that without regard for your feelings and only trying to make me see what he wants but I care about you. A lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there :D It has been a while since I updated this but I am still very much in love with the idea. So let me know what you think and have a lovely day <3

Richard feels his hands shake by the time Lee arrives at his private condo and he has every reason to be nervous. By the end of summer he would be without a job and thus he would likely go back to England, even if he hadn´t planned that and the life he had there, well – it wasn´t really what he dreamed of but it was something that would assure he wouldn´t be out on the street. The thing is, would that have happened a week or two ago, he wouldn´t have given a rats ass about that but now there were things to consider. Now, he had maneuvered himself into a situation he wasn´t really sure he was ready to begin to describe.   
With a sigh he stares at the younger man who looks like hell warmed over and he cannot stop feel guilty about that. 

It could also go together with the fact that Mr.Bloom had very nicely put into words that this would be his fault. He had listened to the man, irate as he was about the things that had happened and then, the unthinkable had happened. Luke had stepped into the room and held a glowing speech in his defense – black eye and all. Richard had gawked at him like a fish fresh out of the water and it had resulted in Luke getting fired as well but he guessed it was the thought that counted. Back in the present his hands still shake and he feels anger rise up in his throat, because as much as Lee denies it, his eyes are redder than they should be. He isn´t a man of emotions, never has been but this – whatever it is that is growing between them, it makes him loose his cool .

A voice that sounds so very much like Graham echoes in his head and tells him to shut it, because he knows very well where this is heading. He mumbles something about stupid bright eyed boys, fiddling with his old record player before turning to the source of his anguish and dreams alike and _god_ doesn´t that just sound hilarious in his head?. 

“Hey.”

He tries and Lee smiles. He looks tired and a little worn out but Richard knows he looks much likely the same. 

“Hey.”

Lee says and shuffles his feet , looking on the floor and biting his bottom lip. There is without doubt something he wants to say but has no way of putting his thoughts into sentences that are able to leave his mouth. Richard can relate, because he doesn´t know how on earth that has become his life.   
Putting the record in his hands away he motions the younger man inside. Lee gives him a small smile but it is more than he can muster at the moment and he hopes that he understands that. 

“Well, here we are. We could talk about the weather. Newest fashion trends. Shit like that.”

He can´t help it, he feels a laugh bubble up in his throat, focusing his attention the younger man fully for the first time since he stepped into the room and frowns a bit. There is more to that. 

“That bad?”

The sigh Lee lets out tells him everything he needs to know but he isn´t prepared for what comes next. 

“My mother wants to invite you over for dinner.”

Richard yet again manages to look like a fish who is fighting to breathe out of water and blinks. He surely hasn´t gotten that right, has he? Lee just looks at him again, scratches the back of his neck and tries to to wrap his mind around the things that happened in the past few hours. First his father had given Lee the booth, so to speak and then, before he could leave to make it perfect his mother had hauled him in. No, he corrected himself. He had practically been dragged in by his earlobe and gotten the first stern talking to since he had been caught falling off his bike when he was little without wearing a helmet.   
His mother normally was a kind and patient woman but given the events, well – lets just say her calmness and patience decided to take a holiday, even if she would have never admitted it. Once he was finished rambling he stood there, just watching Richard. 

“Beg your pardon?”

Richard croaked, still trying to process what he was being told. He pinched himself again and winced, watching the skin turn red and starting to bruise. No, he wasn´t asleep and he wasn´t having an out of body experience either. 

“My mother told me that she would love to meet the man that kissed her son in front of dozens of people properly.”

It came out in a rush and Lee felt his cheeks flush while he tried to get the urge to pull on his hair under control. Richard flopped down on the nearest chair, record player forgotten and tugged Lee closer towards himself, eyes serious. 

“You are kidding ,right?”  
Lee just shook his head, unruly and unkempt hair still flying before he swallowed. Richards whole world shifted. It had been complicated before but this, well this was ..well. Taking a deep breath he looked up and at Lee who seemed to be rather nervous himself.

“I am not. If you don´t want to come that is okay, I could understand ..”

That was it. He shushed Lee with a finger to his lips, pulling him down the rest of the way so that Lee was sitting on his lap, the chair they were situated on creaking dangerously. 

“No. I´ll come. I don´t know what the hell is going on but I am glad that I am not chased with Pitch Forks or some other bloody nonsense.”

For a moment they stared at each other again and all of a sudden they burst out into laughter, without really knowing why. Maybe they were growing mad Richard mused, shoving Lee a little until he stood again.

“What?”

He asked and Lee huffed out a breath. 

“When I said dinner, I meant today, which means in about an hour, which also means you will have to get ready.”

Richard blinked again, there was something he should follow but he knew he just couldn´t. Holding up a hand he stopped Lee from rambling again. 

“Just give me a minute to breathe, love, will you?”

He said with a smile and Lee chuckled a little, trying to keep his fraying nerves together and failing like he had the rest of the day. With a sigh he looked for something to do while Richard who mercifully had woken from his stupor decided that he could use a shave and a shower. Much to Lees distress alone but the plan to pick that thought up later was still etched in the back of his mind, neatly filed away with other, more fun options than _talking_. He grimaced at the thought of that dinner, making jokes to quell his nervousness a bit without succeeding much. His eyes landed on the record player again and he inspected it with curiosity, wondering for a moment if they moved to fast or had done so. Either way, it was too late to think about such things now and he smiled when a pair of arms encircled his waist. 

“Do you think I´ll pass?”

Richard asked and Lee chuckled. 

“Let me answer that once I can have a look at you.”

He said and stepped forward only to turn and stare. Richard had shaved, tried to get his hair in order and dressed in the best shirt he had managed to find in his wardrobe, which consisted of little else than casual shirts. Maybe the tie was a bit much but judging from the look Lee gave him it was a good choice. 

“And?”

The Brit tried again, eyes on the younger man who gulped a bit before he spoke.  
“Yeah. Now I look like I just fell out of bed and you like you are off to model for GQ but hey, things could be worse.”

Richard gave a heartfelt laugh at that, ruffling Lees hair again, much to the younger mans annoyance. It didn´t really matter that he had to reach up to do so, it was worth the look crossing Lees face and he couldn´t resist before leaning in for a kiss , despite his good intentions. Who moved back first neither of them knew but they soon were on their their way to the cabin of Lees parents and Richard felt his bones grow heavy with every step they took. 

Sure, he wanted to spend time with Lee but that also meant that getting to know the mans family was on the horizon. Really meeting them was a different story. He wanted to smoke. And drink but yet, here they were, warmly greeted by Lees sister who _winked_ at  >Richard and breathed that if the evening worked out Richard wouldn´t need risking Lee falling on him while climbing out a window. Richard flushed at that but gave a smile none the less.   
Lees mother, much like his sister, greeted him kindly and ushered him into the cabin where a table for five already was set. It was a lovely display, no doubt in that but the sour look Lees father sported dimmed the mood a bit. 

“Thank you for the invitation, that is very kind of you Mrs.Pace.”

Richard heard himself say and the older woman looked at him with a smile that reminded him much of Lee who looked like he would jump out of his skin any moment. Richard couldn´t blame him. 

“Well, I do wish we would have met under different circumstances but it doesn´t matter now. Have a seat, Richard. I can call you Richard or would you prefer if I´d call you Mr.Armitag?”

The Englishman was a bit startled by that and how on earth the woman even knew his name but told her to call him Richard anyway. Dinner itself was pleasant enough even if there was something in the air Richard couldn´t quite grasp. The older man had been silent, not uttering a word and his wife had rolled his eyes at him behind his back, telling Richard in a quiet moment that he would come around eventually because Lee was their baby boy _Mom!_. At that Richard had chuckled, enjoying that Lee turned a lovely shade of crimson, rivaling the wine in front of them. He had taken pity on him and grasped his hand, interlacing their fingers in a show of silent support. That had been five minutes ago and now the the whole table was silent, Richard trembling with suppressed rage and everyone except Lees father white as a sheet. It had been a simple sentence really. Words , not spoken venomous but rather calculated. 

“So, Richard, when were you telling my son here that you killed someone? Before or after dessert?”

Richard once again wondered if he was dreaming but the fingers squeezing his and the wide hazel eyes looking at him in question made sure that he was still awake. To his credit Richard flinched only once. 

“With all due respect, I do not know what something that was long ago and also really private matters now. Something you obviously have heard from someone else.”

He took a steadying breath, knowing full well that there was no way he was getting out of that unscathed. 

“But yes, I was involved in someone dying. I was young and stupid and I could try to weasel my way out of that but I won´t. It was a car crash, which I – as you can clearly see, survived.”

The corner of his mouth raised in a humorless smirk and his chest constricted painfully. 

“I would have liked to tell Lee that myself but it seems that yet again my choices are taken from me. Maybe it would be better if I left.”

He made to rise but Lee pulled him down again, grounding him.

“Thanks for dinner, mom but I think Richard and me better get going.”

His father stared both of them for a long moment, gritting his teeth. 

“Would you have done that? Really, least I heard there was a bet going on involving my son..”

Lee would have said something if it wouldn´t have been for his mother slamming the salad bowl forcefully on the table, fuming. 

“Fucking Hell, leave them alone! If they want to go I don´t blame them at all ! For Christs sake get your head out of your ass. Your son is a grown man and he loves who he wants. If you have a problem with that you could at least act like the man I married and not like some cave troll!”

Utter silence filled the and Richard leaned a bit closer towards Lee. 

“I..”

Lee nodded. Dessert was out of the question for now as was spending the rest of the evening with his parents. Bidding his goodbyes Richard made to leave, half expecting Lee to stay behind and almost starting to cry in relief once he felt Lee slip their fingers together on the front porch. 

“I would have told you about that.”

Richard spoke quietly after a while, his voice ringing loudly on the otherwise silent porch and into the night. 

“Richard. I don´t care about that. I am mad as hell at my father for saying something like that without regard for your feelings and only trying to make me see what he wants but I care about you. A lot.”

He blushed again, trembling fingers ghosting over Richards own. And without wanting to Richard was speechless the only thing on his mind the warm fingers on his own.


	10. A walk to remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why don´t you just elope?”
> 
> Lee all but chokes on his drink and blinks owlishly, wheezing when Richard pats his back. It isn´t that he had never thought about that but then again, he had thrown the thought out of the window as quickly as it had come to him. The reason he so heatedly declared to kick his academic career to the bin is just that he doesn´t want it. It would help, though - if he knew what he wanted. 
> 
> “First of all – you are all full of shit. I love you all but you are just bloody insane.” 
> 
> Richard says and rakes a hand through his hair before he stands. This is the hardest decision in his life but he is willing to make sacrifices. 
> 
> “Not that I mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all - Hello again :D Second - it is so wonderful to see all those lovely lovely fics pop up here ! Bravo <3

They stood there for a while, frozen in time and not really knowing what to do until Lees mom came out. She looked a little pale but her face was set in determination. Lee remembered that look very clearly as the face she always wore when she wanted to archive something. Like back when in fifth grade she had wordlessly tended his scraped knee and all but hunted down the older boy who had tripped him on purpose. He still didn´t know what she had said to poor Thomas back then but he had been overly friendly the rest of the term. He also had the dim feeling he didn´t want to find out what exactly she had said _ever_

“I am sorry.”  
Richard says and his voice is very level for someone who was clearly shaken. Lee could feel it in the slight trembling in the hand clasping his own but didn´t comment on it. She gave them a long hard look and raised her eyebrow in a manner that reminded Richard of Lee , which should have been natural but felt so wrong, giving the content in which he had seen that gesture so far. Blinking he cleared his throat, wishing for a hole to open up and swallow him whole. 

“What for?My idiotic husband will come around. In this family the men are a little slow.”

She pointedly ignored Lees _Hey!_ and Richard felt a smile tugging at his lips but kept it in for Lees sake. Of course the woman noticed and winked.

“Now, I don´t think it is a good idea for you to come back inside for a while and knowing my dearest little munchkin here.” She said and pointed at Lee who had turned a lovely shade of red 

“He doesn´t want to do so either. “   
Her grin was a bit – well, nasty and Lee found himself to be the One trembling slightly in his boots (or Sneakers , if you wanted to be correct). Richard barely was able to bite back the laugh he felt rising in his throat as she rose up on her toes to plant a kiss on Lees cheek. 

“Promise to be around tomorrow Lee. We´ll make that work.” 

It was a warm and heartfelt promised that made Lee blink back the tears he felt suddenly at the backs of his eyes and so he just nodded. Her beaming smile was enough to make him smile too and he only ducked away half heartily when she attempted to ruffle his hair – much to Richards amusement. Turning her eyes on Richard her gaze got a little colder for a fraction of time before she spoke. 

“Now you, as lovely as you are should remember that this is my son you so clearly swept of his feet and I am his mother.”

 _Oh god_. Lee felt his face flame again, trying desperately to hide behind Richard, which wasn´t really possible but he guessed it was the thought that counted. 

“I beg your pardon?”

Richard tried to quell the little giggle down , seeing Lees antics and feeling him practically vibrate beside him. True to be told, he still wasn´t over the fact that the woman called her tall as tree son _munchkin_ when her voice drifted towards his ears. 

“I once threatened a boy to remove his testicles with my favorite pair of garden shears and that was for tripping my sweet little baby. So you get what I mean, yeah?”

She might have been not as tall as either of them but Richard knew that there wasn´t really anything more dangerous than a woman scorned. And a mother, none the less – so he just nodded, briefly wondering if Lee would faint any moment because all the blood had rushed to his face and tinted it a rather lovely shade of red that bordered on purple the more the woman spoke. 

“I understand completely.”

Richard managed after a while, still having a death grip on Lees hand and wondering what the hell had happened in the last few days of his life. It was those eyes looking at him and that smile, he guessed. Yeah,he was doomed. Half an hour later they are sitting in the bar were everything began and Graham is near tears while downing his shot.   
“That is ..”

He doesn´t even manage to get another word out, just chortles again and Martin grins from ear to ear, a look Richard isn´t really fond of while Lee just looks at them all, partly mortified and partly angry, just not sure yet which part may win out. Graham shows Mercy on them and wipes his eyes before asking what happened – from them, not that he hadn´t heard it from everybody else already. 

“So, let me get this straight. By the end of the season you are out of a job.”

Richard winces. He hadn´t really thought about in the past and he doesn´t want to think about it ever but Graham, like always is right. The other man had become a good friend over the time he had been working several gigs in the States and since he had been here also the voice of reason for him. Right now , he wasn´t really in the mood for reasons. Hell, he wanted to be stubborn and sulk, wanted to behave like a child. Although he knew he couldn´t. 

“I don´t see what the problem is. Richard could get another job anytime.”

Lee butted in and Richard sighed when Graham only snorted. 

“That is not how the world works kid and I try to say that in the most non insulting way.”

Which of course was insulting and Lee frowned, cigarette dangling from in between his lips while he tried to process what the hell was happening to him and if this was still his life. He doubted it for a moment but is interrupted by his cellphone ringing. 

“Sorry, I gotta take that. It´s Sally.” 

He says with what he hopes is a genuine smile and Richard can´t blame him,really. He knows full well what Graham implies and what will come if he can´t provide for himself. That would mean that in the end he would have to go back to a place he no longer called home and worse – he would also loose all his friends. And the hope of a relationship with Lee – even if the man is quite younger than him but then he had always been a candidate for disaster. Chuckling without humor Richard sighs again but Graham wouldn´t be Graham if there wouldn´t come something. 

“He has a bright future, a life planned. I am not saying this won´t work but Rich..”

Yeah, Richard knows. 

“That is up to him, isn´t it?”  
He feels the headache coming on and sighs again, rubs his temples when Lee comes back inside and the look he gives Richard isn´t one that he expects from someone who just is about to start Collage. 

“I would prefer if you would talk to me and not about me.”

He says and his eyes shine with anger, making Richard smile in turn. That was what he loved about Lee. _Wait, what?Bad timing. Really fucked up timing, Armitage!_ Shaking his head he tried to concentrate on what the younger man was saying. 

“I am not going to Collage.” 

It sounds strange and petulant, hopeful and worse of all Richard doesn´t feel bad for the faint hope that sentence ignites inside of him. The hope that everything will turn out just right, will be okay. That there is something like a future. 

“Care to share what brought that on?”

Dean says somewhere from the sidelines, popping up out of seemingly nowhere but Richard does know better than that, if only from the expression the Blonde is sporting. 

“A talk with my sister. And who are you again?”

Lee all but growls and Richard presses the backs of his hands to his eyes, trying to fight the wish to murder someone in his close proximity. He manages just barely. 

“Oh I am just a friend _Munchkin_ ” 

Dean is fast enough to duck the swing that Lee aims at him half playful and half annoyed but all in all he only succeeds in smacking the tray he is balancing on his arms right out of his hands. 

“Okay! That is enough. All day I hear you whine and bitch about what you can´t do or won´t do but right now we need a plan.”

Aidan, brilliant boy that he is, just grins when he appears seemingly out of thin air next to Dean. Richard just knows that his life is cursed because Aidan just looks at the lot of them.

“Did someone say plan?” 

He all but looks like a five year old on a sugar high but Richard is willing to let him talk. If it should turn out like the other plans they had, well – things could always be worse. 

“Why don´t you just elope?”

Lee all but chokes on his drink and blinks owlishly, wheezing when Richard pats his back. It isn´t that he had never thought about that but then again, he had thrown the thought out of the window as quickly as it had come to him. The reason he so heatedly declared to kick his academic career to the bin is just that he doesn´t want it. It would help, though - if he knew what he wanted. 

“First of all – you are all full of shit. I love you all but you are just bloody insane.” 

Richard says and rakes a hand through his hair before he stands. This is the hardest decision in his life but he is willing to make sacrifices. 

“Not that I mind.”

He continues and Lee watches as he talks to Graham, making out the words _long distance call_ when he strains to hear what they are talking about. When Richard finally comes back to his side he flops down next to Lee again, expression serious. 

“Answer me One question, love.”

He says more to the floor than directly to Lee and tries to stop his hands from shaking as he remembers vividly the life he so wishes to have left behind forever. But wishes never got granted for him , it seemed. 

“Yes?”

Lee says and his eyes are bright and questioning, hands automatically grabbing for them of the other man. 

“Do you mean it? Would you take a leap of faith with me?”  
He knows it is crazy to ask Lee that so soon and so out of context but deep within he already knows the answer even before the younger man nods. The smile he throws Graham is brilliant and Martin just shakes his head, declaring that this is madness, pure and simple. 

“Good. Then I need to make a few calls and..we´ll see.”

Its the first time in a long while he prays. Martin thinks it is time for another round of drinks.


	11. Ghost stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lee.”
> 
> His father says in that tone that Lee absolutely hates and he can practically feel his sister and mother hovering in the doorway behind them but he pays them no mind. 
> 
> “I mean it. I am serious. I love him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all - I hope you all had a wonderful start into the new year :) Secondly - enjoy. Comments are as always welcome :)

Richard thinks of it more as a joke, in the long haul – because the Universe seems always keen to piss on him quite literally and sometimes not so much but still. He knows his way around and he knows why he loads some things. Then all of sudden Lee came along and all of his - well ,he didn´t really know how to put it anyways but his brother laughs on the other side of the line and it isn´t out of spite or other reasons – whatever he might be thinking and it makes everything he has so readily left behind that much worse. For him anyways. He takes a long breath, one that feels like the longest of his entire life while Lee just stares at him, no doubt hard pressed to dart over to where he is trying to have a rather quiet conversation. Trying, being the most important word there. He inhales so deep that he thinks for a moment that he might pass out but Chris has always been the more level headed of them both and well – he just feels stupid once Chris just points out the facts to him. 

The fact that Lee, however young he might seem would be still of legal age and that thus he would have no right to stop the lovely young man from making what he himself would call a mistake. Richard just sighed, eyeballing Lee again and taking a deep breath. 

“Do you think..”

He starts slowly but his brother just snorts and as always knows that little brothers are just so damn _stupid_ at times. 

“Richard, tell the lad what you want. If he loves you..”

He can practically hear Chris smirk followed the sound of a lighter and a distant cough.

“Hell, you are grown up. Get it together.”

That is easier said than done and he blinks at the phone for a few moments as if it could bite him. Instead of focusing on his own problems he turns to Lee and lets out a speech of how the other man shouldn´t sacrifice his career for him and all of that but Lee just stares at him and gives a heartfelt snort. 

“You mean me not going to College? God I wouldn´t have done that anyways - no offense. I really think we need to talk.”  
Lee offers with a small smile, much calmer than he himself had anticipated in the last few hours. He drags Richard away from all his friends and begins to talk. Steady and calm, so much more than his young age suggests and it makes Richard feel _old_ and like a bloody toddler at the same time. 

“I just don´t want to ruin another life.”

Richard states quietly and begins to tell about the time he has almost forgotten but never will be able to forget all of it, no matter how much time passes. The face that comes back to haunt him from the days when he still enjoyed dancing so much and had not threatened it as a job. When he had been so full of hope and love. He doesn´t look at Lee because he knows if he does that the chance that he might cry is great, so he startles a bit when Lee laughs.

“Oh I am not laughing at you, believe me. I just can´t believe that you would think that – after all I told you and your friends and probably whoever you talked to on the phone also did.”

Lee knows that he is babbling but he is glad once Richard doesn´t look like he is about to cry anymore but instead smiles and lays a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Yes, I am idiot I get that. “

Lee grins.  
“My idiot.”

It comes out with a little question mark and by the way Lee blushes Richard knows that he needs to say something, anything really but he also knows he isn´t that good with words, so he simply nods and pulls Lee closer until they are nose to nose. Martin meanwhile peers at them trying to make out what they are talking about without them noticing. And failing when Graham just snorts. 

“So I...always wanted a dance studio – you know a real one. Not that this isn´t great here but..”

Lee looks guilty and he pats him on the back of the head.

“Now you stop looking like that is all your fault, you hear me? I would have quit eventually and I love you anyways .”

He freezes but Lee just smiles at him and his eyes tear up a little while he finds himself chiding him being such a sap while Martin from the sidelines mutters something about them all being fucked and finally.

“Good, I love you anyways, too.”

Its not that he doesn´t mean it , it just the first time he says it out loud and again Richard feels the childish need rise in his chest to simply cry – with too many and no reason at all. 

“We are two saps, aren´t we?”

Lee chuckles a little wetly and agrees and he listens to Richard when he talks about the plans he has made and is fascinated when the other mans face lights up on the matter and he just stares before he mildly but finally stops Richard. 

“I would do that with you. I am not half bad at math, as much as it pains me and I have some savings.”  
Richard just gapes at him but Lee just shushes him with a small smile.   
“I do have a College fund – I have worked my butt of for that, not that I ever wanted to mention it to you but..”  
He sighs. 

“I knew fate would combine us once my underwear hit you in the face.”

Lee says and Richard can´t help it, he laughs. He can´t stop but he knows he should. He really should but still he is laughing until he is crying and they go back to their friends for a while. Eventually they part ways with the promise of coming back together once Richard has finished his calls and Lee sorted things out with his father. It pains him to go back to the cabin but he does and it pains him more so that he has lied to Richard – even if it is white lie. His father just stares at him after he is done talking and he wonders briefly if the man might fall over dead or yell at him or both but he does nothing of the sort.

“You want _what_?”

He asks after a minute or five and Lee feels himself tremble wishing for Richard to be there and not holed up somewhere else to grill his oldest friends about where it would be best to start his business without moving to fast away. Briefly Lee thinks of Viggo and Orlando and draws strength from that, tries not to shrink away from his fathers gaze. 

“The money from the fund. The One grandma and you folks set up.”

He shouldn´t know about that but he always has been curious and always a bit too nosy even when he was younger. 

“Lee.”

His father says in that tone that Lee absolutely hates and he can practically feel his sister and mother hovering in the doorway behind them but he pays them no mind. 

“I mean it. I am serious. I love him.”

At that his father raises both eyebrows and swallows. Lee half expects him to lecture him about how wrong all of this is but yet again his father surprises him by nodding.

“Okay. I will see that you get that money.”

There is a rub to it, he can feel it in the way his father moves about, no doubt searching for his checkbook. 

“That money is to provide you for a life on your own. That´s the one condition it is bound to, as you well know.”

He didn´t know that but he swallows, there is no turning back now. His mother gasps behind them, running into the room because she just can´t anymore and she yells at them all if they have lost their mind but Lee puts an end to it. 

“I leave. It´s alright. If that is what it takes I am fine with it.”

He isn´t, his mother can tell but she doesn´t say a thing about it and watches his silent horror as her husband hands Lee the piece of paper that will grand him access to roughly 250.000 dollar and drive him out of their home at the same time. Until the last minute he doesn´t believe that his son will take that step but he does and they are left to stare at the door closed after him. When Lee returns to Richards private condo the other man smiles until he sees the look on Lees face. There are many things he wants to ask but all he can say is 

“You look like as you have seen a ghost.”

And then only Lee allows himself to the let the sob out of his throat into the air, all but falling into Richards arms.


	12. Stormy Seas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you are hungry, we could order something.”
> 
> Lee suggests with a breathless laugh but he is only joking, visibly aroused which in turn makes Richards eyes darken impossibly further.
> 
> “I am perfectly fine with what´s on the menu, love.”
> 
> He says, voice deep and his breath makes goosebumps rise on Lees skin, 
> 
> “Oh? Well, be my guest then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on the journey goes :) I hope you are well and still enjoy this little story. (And by little I mean - wait - 20k already, and more - aw well.)  
> As always comments, suggestions and all that is welcome :) Until next time

“Are you happy now?”   
It´s seldom that Sally has that tone of voice and her father just stares at her while loading suitcases in the back of the car.   
“Is this about Lee?”  
He asks and grits his teeth together because Lee isn´t with them right now and won´t be. He knows that he is the reason for that -in part but then again Lee is a grown man, as much as he hates to admit it.   
“No Dad, it is about the fucking weather forcast!”  
“Sally!”  
“I hate you!”  
“Wonderful, now that we got that out of the way, get the bags into the car.”

She is quiet then, eyes steadily on her fathers and he wonders why on earth his skin crawls as she scowls at him and crosses her arms but before she can speak her eyes dart over his shoulder and another voice sounds in his ears.

“I think I can handle my luggage on my own. Richard has borrowed a car, but thanks Sally.” 

Lee says and his father ignores his red rimmed eyes and the roughness of his voice. No, he isn´t happy but to say now that he did those things in the best interest for Lee is something he keeps to himself, especially when his wife comes out of the cabin and hugs him so hard that Lee can hardly breathe. He squeezes back until he manages to dis tangle himself from her and blushes when Richard arrives, cursing a bit at the car he borrowed from Luke – He wouldn´t really call the thing a car but it only made sense since there would be more than his bag this time around to take it instead of the bike. He ignores Lees father as best as he can, focusing his attention on not tripping with the heavy bags Lee has still in the cabin.

“God, I thought only women would pack that much.”

Lee just grins, forgetting for a moment what had happened in the last twenty four hours and that they still had a five to six hour drive ahead. He had briefly talked to his father, alone and on the phone when Richard had gone to sleep, exhausted from calming him down and suggested that he wouldn´t come back home with them but instead grab a few of his possessions and be on his way with Richard. His mother hadn´t been happy , he knew that but it was for the best – his father had agreed as he knew he would. The sun was blazing and he was transfixed by the sweat gathering behind Richards ear. Richard of course noticed the look he was given and grinned but the loud clearing of a throat pulled them right back down to earth, much to his dismay. 

“Well, we best get going – or do you want to..you know – say goodbye to your friends?”  
Lee asks worriedly, biting his bottom lip and his friends are suddenly the very last thing on his mind. God, he hasn´t been that horny since he was a teenager, a fact that Dean and Aidan pointed out without mercy. He had said his goodbyes to them anyway and left his bike with Graham, planning on either retrieving it or putting it up for sale and Luke and him had met up over the car and the care taking of the last clients. Bloom had been glad to see him go faster than planned but hadn´t admitted it. He gave a snort that would make Martin proud. Martin had just leered at him and said that he fully understood the reason for his actions, pointing out that Lee would indeed have a very fine ass. Richard had smacked him upside the head for that comment but Martin had just laughed in his face. He smiled fondly at that memory.

“No, love. Everything is fine.”

Roughly six hours later, he doesn´t see it quite the same while Lee is _howling_ in laughter, no doubt at his expense while he all but screams bloody murder. Naturally the car has to break down halfway through their journey and they are stranded for the night in a shabby Motel because that was still better than to switch into the car with the rest of the family – or so Lee had told Richard with that damn bright eyed gaze of promise. Oh, he was so fucked. 

“And you find that funny, how?”

He asks, looking at the room, torn between being happy that Lee laughs and mad at him because he is doing it. 

“It´s just so us.”

He gets out between guffaws and Richard can´t take it anymore, he grabs Lee by the back of his head and kisses him until that smile is completely wiped off his face and his eyes are black. 

“You got something there.”

Lee says and wipes at the smudge on Richards cheek that resulted from him trying to fix the car and failing. Just before he plants a kiss there his teeth graze Richards earlobe and he winks. 

“You know.. since that is a seedy Motel...uh- why not stick with another cliche ?”

There is a teasing note in the younger mans voice and he all but slinks around Richard, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. 

“And what would that be?”

Richard asks as innocently as he can, eyes dark and hooded before catching the shirt that is thrown his way and smelling it. 

“Oh, aren´t we in a special mood today.”

Lee grins and opens his jeans, letting them fall to the floor. 

“You could say that, yes.” 

Richard barely gets it out before he moves closer and Lee moves back until there is no more room he can back up against, just a wall.  
“And will you do something about that mood?”

Instead of answering Richard sinks to his knees and Lee lets out a little startled gasp that satisfies the man to no end before he kisses a wet trail up the inner thigh of the younger man, places a bit there that has Lee arching up on his toes before pulling back to see darkening teethmarks with a note of satisfaction.

“If you are hungry, we could order something.”

Lee suggests with a breathless laugh but he is only joking, visibly aroused which in turn makes Richards eyes darken impossibly further.

“I am perfectly fine with what´s on the menu, love.”

He says, voice deep and his breath makes goosebumps rise on Lees skin, 

“Oh? Well, be my guest then.”

Richard says nothing to that, kisses Lees erection through the cotton of his shorts which has Lee closing his eyes, mouth opening on a gasp and closing on a shout because he was so wrapped up in his pleasure that he didn´t notice that Richard had pulled his boxers down and swallowed him without warning. His hand automatically reaches around Richards head, fingers carding through his hair.

“Richard...”

He all but whines, eyes rolling back into his head and knees trembling, signaling that it won´t take long but Richard doesn´t stop, circles his hole with slick fingers and Lee briefly wonders where he had gotten lube from but then again he just doesn´t care when those long fingers press in and the suction around him gets more intense until he feels Richards stubble against his groin, giving a desperate howl when in the same moment those clever fingers brush his prostate.   
Everything goes white from there and he would slip down the wall if it weren´t for Richard who catches him and rights him up, sharing a kiss that makes him twitch weakly in response. He can feel Richards erection poking his stomach and reaches for it, but his hand is batted away and for a moment he is confused before gentle hands turn him around.

“Fuck.”

Richard says, hot and wet against his shoulder, belt hitting the floor, it must be an immense relief Lee muses, mind still foggy and thoughts still hazy when a line of kisses is placed from his throat to his ear, going back down and around until they can finally kiss. He can taste himself on Richards lips and moans, a blush spreading on his face. Richard just smiles, pressing himself against the younger man with a questioning gaze. Lee just nods and lets his head drop back when the older man slips into him to the hilt – without a condom, he realizes but doesn´t care because he just trusts Richard on that and not only on that. The feeling of him moving makes him hard again, eyes going wide once the Brit just slams into him, hard and fast, knocking the wind out of him. He isn´t even sure anymore if he is speaking English but that doesn´t matter when he comes for the second time leaving a stain on the wall without feeling shame. He can feel Richard come, hot gushes that make him moan and rasp something out that could be a name or the solution of a math problem, he isn´t sure which but hell, he is so beyond caring, even if he winces a bit once Richard is finished catching his breath and pulling out.   
Naturally, Richard notices and looks a tad guilty and Lee knows it is not only about the rather rough and fantastic Sex they just had.   
“Hey, none of that now.”  
He whispers, voice hoarse and limbs still trembling in pleasurable aftershocks before he cups the older mans face, places a kiss on his nose. Richard just smiles, cursing himself for getting caught brooding and rakes a hand through his hair before he pulls Lee towards the bed. It isn´t much but it is clean enough -not like the wall his eyes zoom in on and Lee blushes a shade that is close to scarlet before hitting him over the head with a pillow because he just can´t help the laughter that comes bubbling out of his throat once Lee mumbles something about him not paying for that. 

“Sleep?”

Richard asks gently, knowing from the way Lees eyes are hooded that he is dead tired but won´t admit it.

“Hrm, if you are tired?”

It makes him smile and he brushes a kiss on Lees sweaty brow, feeling strangely protective of him in moments like these, even if he knows that Lee isn´t a child anymore. He also knows that they will have to travel a good few hours once the car is fixed, that he will have to text Luke about what happened and that the next meeting with Lees father will be just as icy as the previous ones. Lee nudges him with his toe, grinning.

“Asleep already?”

He asks and yawns. Richard chuckles, tucking a stray strand of hair behind Lees ear and kisses it, making the younger man giggle and he waits patiently until his breathing evens out and then only he gives in the desire to sleep as well, briefly wondering about Orlando and Viggo, their other friends and what the world will be like come morning.


	13. Ordinary World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You want me to _lie_ to my parents? God, what happened to you?”
> 
> Richard can barely keep in the laugh he feels rumbling in his chest but succeeds to his own surprise.
> 
> “I am not the Only One corrupting people here – so what do you say? It´s a surprise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all - thank you for still reading and commenting - and secondly , thank you for giving me ideas <3 You guys are amazing. I hope you enjoy, even if it is a bit shorter than usual, but the next chapters will be longer :)

Lee is the first of them to wake and he stretches with the grimace -being too tall had always been his curse. He doesn´t get to see Richard sleep often because Richard is the kind of guy that is always aware of the things around him, ready to strike if he has to and to be honest, he doesn´t blame him. He also wonders briefly if this is right, the thing that he won´t regret in a few years time but then he thinks of his other options and all the things in life that had been planned for him but not by him.   
Oh, he had a lot of time to think it through for himself and even if it hadn´t seemed partially interested in which direction his life would go, he _was_. He just wasn´t the kind of guy to dwell on it or talk about it much – not to his parents anyway, because where his mother would look at him with understanding that bordered pretty close on pity and his father , who wasn´t that good at masking his emotions just stared at him with those long hard looks parents gave their children when they just didn´t _know_ what to do with them. With a sigh he turned and watched Richard sleep, stretching out his hand and taking it back as if burned as Richard opened his eyes. 

“Good morning.”

At least that was what Lee made out through the rumbling that came from Richard, who by all means had never been a morning person and Lee giggled. 

“What?”

Richards hair was sticking up at odd angles and if Lee would have bothered to look into a mirror he would have seen that his hair was even worse, but Richard was kind enough not to mention that, instead trying to sit up without wincing. And failing. 

Richard also knows that Lee has worries for Lee, he has learned by now - is the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. Not that he wouldn´t have noticed even before they got involved. He cringed inwardly at his phrasing, deciding for coffee and remembering where they were. With a curse he stands, finally slipping into his pants and wonders for a moment why Lee is blushing at the wall. _Oh._ He grins a bit like a Wolf seeing a Lamb for the very first time before chuckling. 

Lee just throws a pillow at him before muttering something over filthy dance instructors and making a beeline for the bathroom. Richard finds him there ten minutes later, phone clutched in his hand and staring at the screen – a look he doesn´t like because so far it has caused them nothing but grief.

“Your parents?”

He asks and hopes against all hope that there aren´t any tears on the horizon when Lee sniffles a bit. 

“No, Orlando – send a picture. They ..just look so happy and..” He gives a sigh, tries to fold himself on the toilet seat and it looks so ridiculous that Richard decides that it is enough. Enough of either of them beating themselves up over things that can´t be changed, people that would never change and caused hurt in the process. He snatches the phone out of Lees numb hands and knows exactly why Lee looks like kicked puppy. Orlando and Viggo, they look _happy_ and they are free right now, enjoying what they are still denied because not everything is sorted out with money. Money, Richard reminds himself after a moment of gritting his teeth – they need to collect. 

No, he never was really the guy to plan things through and well, _fuck it_ , he thinks and hauls Lee up to his feet, making the younger man yelp. 

“There is no need for you to look like that. You told me yourself, you are not a kid.”

Oh, he was so not good at this and Miss Havercomp, his teacher from second form would just stare at him when he would behave like that and tell him he would end up with no money and no future instead of a lovely house like Billy would -how he had hated them all but that was hardly the point now that he was staring at Lee who tried very much not grin at his obvious effort to make him feel better and looped his arms around Richards neck. 

“I know, I did – and it is very sweet of you trying to make me feel better.”

At that Richard gives a snort and wonders if he could find out wherever Miss Havercomp is now and tell her _to fuck off_.

“Well, yeah.”

This was getting awkward and they had a long drive still ahead of them and there was also the prospect of them being not really welcomed – or him at least, when they collected Lees things. Richard had all but packed everything he possessed, never the kind of person to stay long in a place – a thing that also made him worry a bit for the future but then again they were crazy and in love. So the future could wait a little longer, he decided and grinned, clapping his hands together in sudden glee – which he blames entirely on the lack of coffee and the urge to make Lee happy. 

“You know I´ve been thinking.”

Lee raises his eyebrows at that but refrains from adding that is dangerous when Richard starts to think about thinks and waits like a child in the hopes of presents.

“I never quite gave you those dancing lessons, you know.”

Lee actually bursts out laughing at that but Richard is deadly serious and nods, a plan already forming in his head.

“So? What will you do about it?”

Lee asks, mildly curious and ignoring that they are still mostly naked and in a Motel where most likely the roaches are happy as well – in a word – they are crazy but he just can´t bring himself to care. 

“You could call your parents, tell them the fixing of the car will take another day.”

A shocked little gasp is the answer he gets before Lee places a hand on his own chest – all for effect, really. 

“You want me to _lie_ to my parents? God, what happened to you?”

Richard can barely keep in the laugh he feels rumbling in his chest but succeeds to his own surprise.

“I am not the Only One corrupting people here – so what do you say? It´s a surprise.”

And that look Richard gives him, hell, he can´t refuse it – so giddy and open , the thing he loves about him the most - if there is such a thing. If Richard would ask him to jump off a cliff, he would not yell at him and tell him he is insane, just ask how fast he should jump. He was in love after all and not ashamed to admit it although he did have his doubts and he guessed it was good to have a little common sense – even if it wasn´t much. They would make it through, he was sure of it – even if he had to wait tables but then again, that wasn´t what he was asked.

 

“Okay.”   
He simply says and is only a tad worried about what Richard has planned.


	14. Twist and Shout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You really went out of your way for this, didn't you?"  
> Lee says, voice a little hoarse. Richard just winks at him,holding out his hand for the taking.  
> "Everything for my prince."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and also for the lovely ideas brought to me. I will consider bringing one or two into this fic :)As always -Enjoy

"Oh my god!"  
Lee says it over and over again, eyes huge as Saucers and Richard smiles so bright that someone could think he has lost his mind -and maybe he has, because instead of driving straight to Lees parents house, he took a long way that in the end took them to a hotel that also had a ballroom. Not that he could have afforded it himself but he did have connections and he is thankful for it for once and sees it as some sort of miracle that One of the locations he has the fondest memories for lies on their way to Lees home. Well, not directly and Lee did have to call his parents about the car and Richard had grinned from ear to ear when Lee had shifted from foot to foot and bitten his bottom lip. "Yes mom. Yes..Mooom" He hadn't known why on earth Lee had turned the shade of a fire hydrant and refused to tell him what his mother had said but he did have an inkling. Still, he would find out for himself, he was pretty sure.  
"Do you like it?"  
Richard says, grinning broadly at Lee, who in turn makes the best imitation of a fish he has seen to date.  
"Oh my god."  
Lee just says again, dropping his duffel back on the ballroom floor with an audible thud before wincing at the sound. Not that there was need to worry about disturbing anyone because they were alone and the room stretched in front of them seemingly endless. There was a sound system set up in one corner, but other than that - nothing but a neatly polished floor. He would have to thank his friends still working at the hotel properly.  
"You said that already, love."  
He gently teases and gives Lee a little shove that indicates that he should change. They nearly had an argument about that because , really. "Why the hell should I wear a tux for a dancing lesson?Ain't it bad enough that I will trample all over your feet without being dressed like a penguin?" Richard had simply called him a tit for it and declared the argument as invalid, so Lee changes into the tuxedo he hates with a vengeance while Richard does the same -after all he wants to give the lesson he has promised and he is much, but not a thief. There is a text arriving on his phone reminding him that he can use the room for two hours and that by god he shouldn't forget the payment. A chuckle rises in his chest when he remembers what exactly that payment is and that Susan will surely kill him for handing out her number but he thinks it is worth it once Lee comes around the corner, fiddling with his bowtie and clearing his throat. He looks a lot younger than he is in moments when he thinks nobody is looking and lets his carefully honed guard down.   
There is a sudden bout of hatred in Richard that solely is directed at the other mans father before he can help it. He briefly wonders why on earth the man acts the way he does but decides against following that train of thoughts, instead turning on the music and grinning when it begins to fill the room.  
"You really went out of your way for this, didn't you?"  
Lee says, voice a little hoarse. Richard just winks at him,holding out his hand for the taking.  
"Everything for my prince."  
He mumbles into Lees hair and the quiet laugh he gets in return is more of a reward than he ever dreamed off. He wants to see Lee happy and the reality that he is utterly , head over heels in love with the infuriating man that had managed to hit his head pretty hard upon one of their first meetings makes him trip over his own feet and Lee laugh. He glares for a moment, trying to get Lee to move in some sort of way that doesn't look like he is having a seizure but eventually he gives up and they sink to the floor in a heap of limbs and Richard looks at Lee who is rather sweaty and panting.  
It doesn't help the older man at all when Lee tries to stretch and groans.  
"Okay, you are trying to kill me. "  
He says and flops back until he is stretched out. Suddenly Richard regrets that they have only two hours until the room is needed again and that they still need to drive a good while but he also knows that they need to get it over with.   
"I would go on more smoothly about it."  
Richard tells him in a gravely voice, eyes twinkling. Lee swats him lightly on the thigh and giggles lightly.  
"It was lovely, though. I don't get why you wanted me to dress up but .."  
He giggles again, rolling around the floor until there is another voice in the room and Richard pales a little once he recognizes the voice.  
"Richard, long time no see, but still the same tactics."  
He says nothing and before Lee can question him he rises to his feet, dragging him along.  
"We are on our way somewhere else Henry. Just dropping by for old times sake and to give a lesson. Your brother was kind enough to offer me the room for a few hours."  
Henry just snorts at him then before looking Lee up and down. From what Lee can see in the way Richards jaw clenches they aren't friends but even a blind man could see that. He was about to say something when the man spoke again.  
"So, how long are the two of you fucking?"  
Lee says nothing for a moment before stepping forward. He is feeling pissed and he wonders for a moment why on earth they had to encounter people who tried to drive a wedge between them.  
"Why don't you fuck off?"  
He spits and Richard grabs him, but he is faster, now nose to nose with the man he didn't even know a few minutes before.   
"I am afraid I cannot do that since I own the place. I was just a little curious why my ballroom is occupied."   
Richard grits his teeth so hard he swears he can feel them crack.  
"We were about to leave anyway. "  
He says and before Lee can utter another word he is dragged out of the room by Richard who in his haste forgets the duffel bag and only realizes that when they are at the car again. Without explaining what the hell just happened in there he stomps back inside and grabs their stuff, tosses it in the trunk and slams it closed with a curse.  
"Okay -what the hell is happening here."  
Lee grits out and stares at Richard from the passenger seat . It is awkward, the silence between them and it doesn't help at all that Richard doesn't speak for a while,just starts to drive away with Henry who seemingly hates Richard staring after them.  
"I am sorry. I never should have brought you here, I wouldn' have done it if I had known that he would be here. He is..well, someone out of my past I wanted to forget, had already forgotten."  
It's rare that Richard rambles but he feels that the need to do it has arisen, because he wants to make it right for Lee - for them. God, he wants to cry.  
"Richard."  
Lee says after a while, voice calm and collected as he reaches over to where the older man is gripping the steering wheel in his hands.  
"You don't need to explain yourself to me, or anyone else for that matter. I was just so pissed that he -whoever he is, has managed to ruin a surprise you have obviously taken a lot of thought in. "  
He bites his bottom lip again and Richard feels shitty because Henry, however long they have been separated had always managed to crawl under his skin. He also had managed to break Richards heart in tiny pieces in their time together but he doesn't want to dwell on that, not now, not ever again. He wants to remember how happy he had been dancing in that marvelous ballroom and that he had wanted Lee to be happy too, after all they had been through.  
"Richard."  
Lee says again, voice fond and eyes twinkling.  
"Don't worry so much about me. I am fine. Really, I am."  
Richard wants to believe him, trying to focus on anything but the past and also ignoring the feeling that seeing Lee in a tuxedo makes him feel, so he shifts and prays that Lee doesn't see it. Another topic would be good, he decides and wrecks his brain for it.  
"So, what did your mother ask you this morning?On the phone "  
Lee is grateful that he isn't drinking or eating something because he would surely choke on it were it the case.  
"Nothing."  
He says quickly and so fast that Richard stops the car for a moment to look at him. There is that lovely blush again, all the way up to his ears.  
"Nothing?"  
Richard asks and Lee finds the view outside the window so very fascinating.  
"She asked me if..the..if the delay would be because of ..well."  
He manages to scratch the back of his head and take a breath. Apparently it had been much needed.  
"She asked me and I quote here -if the delay would be of an actual Sex thing."  
He even makes air quotes and Richard stares at him,much like he had done when he had first seen the ballroom before he starts to laugh. He laughs about it all, the way they sit there at the side of the road, the way they are always slithering from one disaster into the next He laughs until his eyes water and has to throw his head back. Lee joins soon enough and whoever passes them by must think they are insane but neither of them cares anymore.


	15. End of the world as we know it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What was that about?”
> 
> Richard asks once he climbs into the car, trying to get in on the joke that clearly seems to be at his expense, but he lets it slide and opts for grabbing Lees hand. 
> 
> “You okay with New York?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go :D Hope you enjoy and until next time. As always let me know what you think.

It is a strange feeling. That moment when he wraps the last box of his possessions, handing it to Richard and wonders why on earth he is shaking. They are both exhausted from the trip and the atmosphere is tense enough that you could cut it with a knife. He doesn´t want that however, he just wants to get out of there and that alone is sad enough because it has been his childhood home.   
Naturally it is raining and and naturally his mood is dampened just a bit more because nobody talks.   
They managed to collect the money but not all of it because Richard simply refused to travel around with such a large sum and also naturally they had an argument about it. It wasn´t really an argument when you thought about it, it was just a silent staring contest without winners and Lee finally had sighed and given up but not without muttering curses under his breath. 

“Lee.”

Richard says, box still in his hands and eyes fixed on him. He doesn´t want to ruin another life and he knows that if he says that one more time towards Lee the other man will most certainly strangle him - which is why he says nothing and simply puts down the box he is holding.

“Why does it always rain?”

Lee says and his eyes are misty without overflowing. Still Richard says nothing but comes closer and cups the back of his neck before planting a kiss on his lips, trying not to think about the facts too much. The facts that they are both grown man and that they stand in Lees old room, the room he played with blocks and tried to learn how to write – well and other things Lee doesn´t even want to think over himself at the moment so he just shakes his head, which in turn is enough for Richard to pull him into a hug. He isn´t much of a talker and they have done so much talking already it feels like pulling teeth at times. 

“So..New York.”

Richard cringes inwardly but he wants to distract Lee, wants to make him smile again like he smiled in the ballroom and for a moment he does, his eyes sparkle a bit and he wishes for that look to stay on his face a moment longer when steps approach. 

“New York?”

It is, to their utter surprise his father who stands in the doorway, trying to look casual and guilt free and failing – that much Richard notices also, because really, Lee has that look from somewhere. He is just glad that they changed already into something more practical and the whole thing would have been hilarious if it it wouldn´t have been in the back of a car. Lee just narrows his eyes and Richard grits his teeth.

“Yeah. It´s a City.”  
He says through clenched teeth and the look he receives is icy.

“And you obviously have no manners whatsoever anymore. I raised you otherwise.”

That moment right there is that moment Richard wishes for a hole in the ground to open up and swallow him. He expects Lee to scream, to throw something at the other man but he just crosses his arms over his chest, leaning forward a bit more than strictly necessary and laughs. He honest to god laughs. A bitter sound that comes out of his mouth and startles them all. 

“Really?”

He says and Richard waits with baited breath. He isn´t good at that sort of thing and he also has to trample down the urge to strangle the man standing in front of them with his bare hands. 

“As far as I recall you thought I am a failure and the destroyer of your dreams and expectations, isn´t that what you think of it or me in a nutshell? And that on top of it you blame Richard? For everything that doesn´t fit into your little world?”

Apparently Lee has been holding a grudge that now wants to come out and Richard feels like a fool because he simply doesn´t know what to do in a situation like that. He hates it – the way Lee looks angry and trembling and the way his father doesn´t react at all but he suspects that it is just the way he is wired.

“Is that what you told my son?”

Now, Richard is just _pissed_

“What? I haven´t told him a single bit and I don´t want to destroy this family but you make bloody good job of it by yourself.”

It is out of his mouth before he can stop it and he decides that he is done with that shit because the box he had been carrying should be in the back of their truck and why on earth was he always in the middle of drama. Lee doesn´t blame him but he also doesn´t follow him for a moment. He knows in his heart that they can´t always run or clasp their hands over their ears like children. He remembers times like that well enough and he doesn´t want them back, not in the slightest. 

Lee himself things back to his childhood without Richard knowing, thinks back to the glances his father had given him and thinks a lot about how much it would be different if his father would just talk or show an emotion but then again he isn´t the guy for it, had never been. In stony silence that now is in the room he lights a cigarette and relishes in the fact that his father wrinkles his nose while he turns around to gaze out of the window where he spies Richard talking to his mother and sister. The way his mother smiles signals him that she is without doubt being told the story about the ballroom and the dancing and well, he likes to see her happy.

“You really think that Lee?”

The tone of voice makes him turn around, all shields up again. Yeah, he thinks that, yeah he thinks that his father despises him and that Richard is just the object of his hatred because he had plans – and he had tried, god had he tried – they both had. 

“Yes.”

He says and closes his mouth again before closing his eyes and taking a drag of his cigarette to calm his fluttering nerves. 

“I am your father Lee.”

The older man says to his back and he watches Richard flush and cup the back of his neck as his sister guffaws. It makes him smile but also make him ache because he knows the point of no return has been reached and there is no way in hell he will get back to the life he had. It sounds a little dramatic and he knows that it is but he just can´t. It isn´t only Richard or his damn heart. No – there are just many pieces that slot together and Richard is the last of the pieces that make his decision so much easier, so much more _real_. He doesn´t know why he asks it and he feels like a small kid again when he opens his mouth to ask what has been nagging on the back of his mind since that faithful dinner and the time at the resort that seem so long ago now. Suddenly he feels way older than he is. 

“Do you hate me that much?”

His father says nothing for a long moment that stretches seemingly to the ends of the earth before shaking his head and cursing inwardly before realizing that Lee can´t see him since his back is turned to him.

“I don´t hate you. I never would. I just don´t understand you and a lot of things in your life. And I worry.”

That is news to him and a milestone for his father. He doesn´t turn around too, because he knows he would loose it somehow, so he just stares out the window and hopes to find strength in Richards gaze. 

“New York?”

His father asks again and with that he knows that the time for sentiments and feelings is over and that they once again are back to facts. 

“Yes.”

It seems like a lifetime ago that they had a talk like this and it had to do with the , as his father still called it _incident_ with the the delivery boy. Lee shudders a bit and meets Richards eyes in the window, a soft smile upon his lips, cigarette poised midair in a wave.

“I never thought I see that look on you.”

If One thing, his father is observant in the most impracticable moments – a fact that Lee has always hated and that he would never get used too, still he had to ask.

“What look?”

Yeah, he liked to punish himself like that. A chuckle rose in his throat.

“The look of someone so honestly in love like your mother when we first met. It suits you.”

Well, he hasn´t expected _that_. A speech , yes, a string of advice that he would ignore – maybe – but that ? No. It feels awkward.   
“So..”

He also doesn´t expect the quiet laugh from his father, nor the hand on his shoulder that turns him around softly and makes him remember the times he fell while trying to learn riding a bike.

“So this is me, trying to cope.”

A glare is thrown at Richard none the less. 

“If he ever..”

Lee flushes at that and mirth creeps into his fathers face. They are still on thin ice but they are finally able to stand on it though. 

“Ah, I see your mother did tell him ..”

Lee feels his face grow hotter before wiping his nose with the back on his hand, coughing and pretending it is due to the cigarette which it really isn´t. 

 

“Write me.”

His father says, soft and almost gentle, something he isn´t used to in the slightest and still has no way of handling. 

“I could E-Mail you.”

The way his father grimaces makes him laugh, honest and real but it doesn´t quite mask the bitterness that a whole Life is ending for all of them. They don´t speak much more and he all but races down the steps only to bump into Richard who catches him around the waist only to plant a kiss on his lips. They almost forget his mother in the background until she shrieks for them to wait in a manner somebody would think the house is on fire only to return with a camera and snapping a series of hasty pictures that make Lee grimace and his sister raise her eyebrows.

“I bet ...”

She doesn´t get to finish the sentence because her mother glares at her in a way that tells her to zip it and only rolls her eyes instead. They have a quiet moment in which they stare at each other before bursting out laughing. 

“What was that about?”

Richard asks once he climbs into the car, trying to get in on the joke that clearly seems to be at his expense, but he lets it slide and opts for grabbing Lees hand. 

“You okay with New York?”

He finally asks for the last time and Lee just nods. He might not have much he muses while sitting in the passenger seat, but he has hope. And they got each other.


	16. High Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What a night.”  
> He mumbles and Lee chuckles, pressing his cold nose into Richards warm neck.   
> “Yeah. I don´t want a repeat performance, though.”

Richard isn´t a man of many words but when he finally signs the lease for his own studio in New York with the bunch of friends that so far have been by his side -rowdy or insane as they might be, he starts to cry silently and only realizes it once Lee clasps his shoulder, gifting him the same stupid smile he gave him after their first exchange of sappy endearments. He feels his fingers shake so much that he nearly misses the dotted line and only succeeds on the second try. Luke wants to commit on it but refrains after Viggo just glares at him and Orlando smirks so much his face splits into an almost feral grin. 

Martin and Graham try to be polite and only ask for the booze after and hour or so but Lee notices before Richard that they are just a bit on the wrong side of desperate and titters while opening the nearest bottle of wine which they all share in plastic cups.   
There is a voice in the back of Richards mind that tells him that there is something on the horizon, that he isn´t the man for happiness and never has been but he wants to believe it so bad that he nearly drinks himself into a stupor before the night is over.   
Nobody says a thing and even Lee just watches, grins at jokes thrown their way and how they have managed to break the bed even before moving into the flat above the studio only a week prior.

Lee remembers that with a blush on his face, because it is really nothing to be proud of and nothing he wants to remember forever but he knows it lightens the mood a bit even if it is for their friends benefit.   
They leave one after the other and he watches them leave in the early hours of the morning, gaze shooting to Richard who has his face pressed against a window, eyes closes as if in deep thought. Oh he knows that look , has worn it himself quite often and he also knows that – well , there is little someone else can do to wipe it off your face, so he remains calm and cleans the dishes, throws the empty cups away, nearly letting out a startled scream when Richard sidles up behind him and wraps his arms around his middle, trapping him against the sink of the half renovated flat. 

“I am so sorry.”

Richard mumbles into the nape of his neck, breath ghosting over the shell of his ear, making him shiver and clutch the dishtowel a bit harder in his fingers. 

“For what?”

He asks and wishes he wouldn´t have done that because there are so many answers to that question it makes him want to heave.

“For a lot of things but not you.”

The older man says and it makes Lee let out the air that he had been holding in his windpipe without realizing it.   
Nerves are a tricky thing and there is a lot at stake. They both know it. It doesn´t end there, the fulfillment of a dream is the first step in making it reality and reality, well it isn´t made out of cotton candy, no matter how one wishes for it. Lee is the first One to get pulled down to earth from his cloud after his first shift in a Diner that hardly classifies as such , because really – he never would have stepped into such a place in his right mind but then again there are bills to be paid and there is food that needs to be bought. 

Surely, they have still a little money left from the fund that Lee should have used for his education – which in turn leads to their first fight , a real One – after being in New York for a month. Lee doesn´t give a damn that there are mustard stains on his shirt and a cut on his bottom lip because some bratty kid threw a fork after him.

“And you quit because of that?”

Richard yells, face red and hands clutched at his sides, ready to strike what or whoever comes into his way. Lee just snorts and looks down his nose at Richard who is still looking at the mostly empty client list for his dance studio. It isn´t his fault that some woman think that their children are born to dance, even if they are not and don´t want to dance. Maybe, the same little voice he keeps hearing over and over in his mind, maybe he should learn patience. Learn to talk to people – but he isn´t cut out for that. There is only so much he can take and he doesn´t mean it when it comes out in a snarl but it does.

“Maybe you should go home to daddy and do the things he wants if you can´t take what life is serving you.”

His mouth snaps shut just as quickly as it had opened but the damage is done. He can see it in the way Lees face closes off and how he takes a step back. For a moment there he wants to turn back time, wants to take everything back and is willing to take the shouting that is sure to come his way but Lee doesn´t even say a single word. He just looks at Richard, his whole expression calm and almost serene before he nods , grabs his jacket from where he has thrown it and his keys before leaving.   
The slamming of the door is loud in Richards ears and he wonders for a moment what the fuck happened all of a sudden. He is sure there are two parties to this, two people and all that but still, he feels like shit because he feels guilty. So he does what almost always does when he feels that way and calls his brother in the middle of the night on his side of the pond. Chris says nothing for a moment , thinking the whole thing is a prank and fighting off sleep before he calmly suggests that maybe they should fucking talk. 

Richard blinks a long time at the receiver and decides that maybe Chris has a point. He takes a deep breath, checking his watch and deciding to let Lee stew a bit and also trying to calm himself down because he knows how it would end if they would meet now – not that he has a clue where Lee is at the moment and he presses the back of his hands to his eyes and screams. That helps to calm him down for about two minutes before the panic sets in and he calls Lee. Naturally his phone goes straight to voice mail and Richard curses himself for the umpteenth time before he flopping down on the sofa the two of them bought in a second hand store around the corner. Suddenly he wants to cry again but he tramples the need down and goes searching for his jacket. 

It is after midnight already when he starts to panic for real because he has scouted every place they have been at, every bar, every shop and still Lee doesn´t answer his phone. _What if he really leaves_ the little voice in his head supplies and he wants to vomit. Sure, he is frustrated and he wants everything to be easy and smooth but hell, hell – he doesn´t even know anymore what came over him to say such a thing when he rounds the corner of a street he doesn´t even remember going into and bumps into someone. There is a curse on his lips until he looks up and everything he wants to say dies on his tongue. 

It is strange – they both stand in front of some shitty cinema and Lee looks like he has cried for almost an hour or two but the younger man says nothing at first. He only gives a tired weary smile. 

“There was a Godzilla special.”  
He offers and Richard pulls at his lapels until they both collide in a kiss that most definitely makes people turn their heads for a moment while whispering apologies but Lee stops him after a moment. 

“No, it´s alright. It was stupid of me, I go back there and ask for my job back, it´s not so bad, I suppose.”

Richard just looks at him and shakes his head. 

“Fuck them. You´ll find something better.”

For the first time that day, they both laugh loud and freed from the stress that made them yell at each other hours before. 

“So, are we back to being stupidly in love?”

Lee asks, because the words have stung and it made him waver for a moment and is relieved once Richard nods, that is enough for now. He too, had walked the streets , trying to wrap his mind around everything that had happened until he found the cinema still open, bought a ticket and sat in the back row. He must have been quite a sight for the other occupants in there, sitting with his head in his hands and weeping while Godzilla was wreaking havoc on the screen. They are so wrapped up in making up that they barely notice the young man trying to catch up to them.

“Hey, you! Yeah, you.”

It takes Lee a moment to realize that the man indeed is shouting at him, holding something in his hands. His wallet, for a fact and he blinks as the man jogs up to them, introduces himself as Jake before he hands the wallet back to Lee. Stranger things have happened, he muses when Jake blinks at Richard, smirking and starts to laugh.

“You are the grumpy guy! The One that owns the dance studio a few blocks down , aren´t you?”

Richard asks himself silently how much he has already fucked it up if his reputation is already known around half of the city. Jake just titters.

“Don´t worry. There is not much gossip around, my sister told me because she has that dream that her daughter becomes a great dancer but the poor girl has two left feet – and she made it quite known, as far as I remember when I picked her up.”

Richard feels the tension in his shoulders flow away while Lee just stares and tries his hardest not to laugh when the man innocently enough asks if he would only yell at overbearing mothers or if he also would teach men. He is so completely thrown by the question that he can once again nod and wonder what a day he has been through.

“Good, I come around when I don´t work here. My boyfriend and me, we really need to freshen up our skills for the wedding.”

With that he walks back in the direction of the cinema, leaving the two of them alone. It has gotten colder and Lee shudders a bit, his jacket to thin for the weather and Richard notices, wrapping his arms around the younger man.

“What a night.”  
He mumbles and Lee chuckles, pressing his cold nose into Richards warm neck.   
“Yeah. I don´t want a repeat performance, though.”

And there are many things Richard wants to say but he holds only tighter and when Lee laces their fingers together he knows that everything is back to normal and he hopes that it will stay that way.


	17. Monsters in a Ballroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lovely.”
> 
> He just says to Lee and Lee laughs at him, full bodied and shaking, like he just heard the best joke in the entire world. 
> 
> “I am sorry.”
> 
> He gasps out between guffaws that actually make him _cry_
> 
> “I just told you that your hair is on fire and your answer to that is _lovely_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and commenting - leaving kudos and inspiration along the way <3 Also there is porn left in this chapter if I can tempt you with that ;) Until next time :)

Logically he has no reason to look like he has bitten into a sour grape six weeks later because things are moving swift and good – work wise, so no. he should be running around their place and bounce off the walls. He is a dance instructor after all, is making a name for himself in one of the biggest Citys of the world and he isn´t alone in said city, instead with someone he loves. Someone who currently is sprawling on the living room floor pouring over applications for acting schools. Not that he is against it, not that he wants to say it is an bad idea – he just wants more for Lee than he wanted for himself.   
And he doesn´t want the disappointment, has nightmares already that Lee will come home one day high on drugs or drunk out of his mind, telling him that he finally came to his senses and that he found someone better. 

The thought alone makes him shudder and murder the broccoli he is trying to cook for them and he doesn´t even like it, but Lee does. With a heavy sigh he finally gives up. He hates to talk, hates it to a degree that is absurd but some of the things that have happened in the last weeks – well, he can´t get them off his mind and worse, he hasn´t even bothered to tell Lee. 

“Lovely.”

He just says to Lee and Lee laughs at him, full bodied and shaking, like he just heard the best joke in the entire world. 

“I am sorry.”

He gasps out between guffaws that actually make him _cry_

“I just told you that your hair is on fire and your answer to that is _lovely_?”

The blush that stains his neck and cheeks is something he will deny forever, but he also knows that there is no way out of the situation at hand. It all had started with a comment his brother had made over the phone, something that should have been teasing but stung a bit as Chris informed him that he googled something – and what the hell did his brother come up with anyway in his free time – something harmless and then he asked, actually asked him if they called each other Daddy and Baby or if they would be into other things. Richard had stared at the phone for a moment as if it had turned into a snake about to strike. Not that Chris had meant anything by it but it was something he just hadn´t needed in the state he was in. Naturally Lee notices his sour mood but comments on it just now. 

“Okay, seriously – is there a reason you had to murder dinner or did you just not want to threat Martin and Luke to decent food? There is always take-out of course.” 

Lee muses and the hairs on the back of Richards neck stand on end. He hates to cook, really – he does but Lee also isn´t the brightest match in the kitchen and more often then not they burn something and on any other day he would find it funny but something just sits wrong with him, so he just sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. Lee notices that too and gives a sigh of his own. They have been over this, again and again and his patience is wearing thinner the more they have a discussion of that sort. There is no way when you love someone , no way in hell that you don´t want to rip of their head once in a while. Whoever says something different is a liar in his opinion.

“It´s just something Chris said.”

He mutters under his breath, embarrassed and feeling childish once he tells Lee what it is his brother had said. That had always been his problem , the not telling people things until it escalated and Lee always with his heart on his sleeve. Lee just stands there for another moment or three and he is trying very hard not laugh or cry in frustration.

“Wow. If you ever introduce me to your family, you know – in the flesh – I will tell him exactly which stuff we do in our bedroom he better not research or else I will starve and by god I am far to happy right now to go down that road.”

He scoffs and Richard scrubs a hand over his face. He wishes there would be something he could smash but he doesn´t want to go shopping for dishware anytime soon again because, well there was the time that Lee _had_ tried make Pasta and it hadn´t helped either of them that they had emptied a whole bottle of wine between the two of them. It had resulted in everything but dinner. A whole stack of plates had crashed to the kitchen floor, along with the both of them in a tangle of limbs. So – no , he can resist throwing something against a wall just fine, thank you. And then there is the nagging feeling that he really, really should introduce Lee to his family – book a flight for them and go through all that Lee has done for him already. God, how does that even sound? He snorts and sometimes something rare happens with him and his blasted emotions. 

“Fine, yeah – But I just. I just think when you become an famous actor – and I really want that for you, you will leave this shithole and me behind and a few years down the road you will live in Los Angeles in one of this ridiculous mansions and have two dogs together with a guy who can actually afford a cook for the both of you , two dogs and some bloody twit from TMZ comes knocking on my chip painted door to ask me things about our glorious past.”

It comes out in one single breath, rushing at Lee like a train that runs over his head and he wonders how long Richard has let that grudge grow inside of him to take on such dimensions, that he is actually speechless. So yes, he wants to take his shot at acting but he is realistic and he thinks it won´t happen over night but if you only ever dream you will end up bitter and he doesn´t want that. He also never thought about Richard that much in all of this – assuming that they had cleared that. He feels like about it and fights back the sudden urge to cry. He wants to have a nice evening even if it just noon and Martin and Luke will come by in a few hours, having promised to do on time – which means that even if their flight isn´t delayed they will arrive two hours fashionably late. 

“I don´t know what to say to that, really. It´s just -wow. I know I am repeating myself but..”

He stops himself, just looks at the floor before he turns around and for a horrifying moment Richard thinks that he will walk out and away again and that this time it can´t be fixed with words and kisses but Lee just wanders into the living room, puts the stereo on and sways a little to the music playing on it. Richard realizes a moment later what this is about – it is the CD he has at the studio, one of them – slow songs for slow dances. Lee must have snagged it the time he was there and he was trying to teach Jake how to move his feet without tripping – which was disastrous but that wasn´t all. Once he looked over his shoulder, there for one point was Brice – his boyfriend – who was not only a star Quarterback but also looking at him as if he might be tempted to break his jaw for laying his on Jake. Jake had just tittered and told him that Brice was really only a sweetheart but jealous. He had seen it and the way Lee had fiddled with his scarf as if restraining himself from throttling the poor man, he knew that Lee also had been visited by the so called green eyed monster. Blinking himself back to the present he notices that Lee has kicked off his shoes, twirls around barefoot and all but glides over the carpet towards him with dark eyes. The atmosphere in the room has changed, is charged by something else than annoyance or fear at the moment but he is frozen in time, standing still when Lee slings his arms around his neck. It reminds him of one of their first meetings, of everything that was so new and still makes the flame inside his chest rise until it threatens to consume him.

“What about..”

He asks but Lee shushes him with a finger to his lips, slips his hands into his hair and by god he won´t complain even if he is sure the rug in the living room will not be the most ideal place for what Lee has in mind. Other parts of his anatomy however tell his brain to shut up and he lets his hands slide up under the younger mans shirt, helping it pulling it over his head which makes his hair stand in certain parts due to static but the kisses they both share distract him from thinking of anything as he flips them, curses because they don´t have lube in the living room but he will not run all the way to bedroom so he has to improvise. Improvising means that he strips Lee with careful trembling hands, making Lee smile a little and help him but the smug expression the younger man wears transforms into one of utter pleasure once Richard squeezes his erection and kisses his way down over his stomach, trying not to get distracted by the way Lees mouth opens and closes around a moan.

“Get on with it, will you.”

Lee hisses quietly and now Richard smirks, undressing hurriedly all the same but sitting back on his heels, taking in the sight of flushed skin and wild hair. He wants to snap a picture but he knows there is not the time for it and so he glides over the warm pliant body beneath his, sharing a kiss with his lover that is more teeth than finesse before moving out of reach again. Lee actually _whines_ at that and he would be a liar if he would say he wouldn´t get off on it a little. He traces his fingers down Lees body in a parody of dancing , over his painful looking erection and over his balls, circles them around his hole before blowing air over it and placing a kiss on the furled skin. Lee shouts at that and he places a hand over his mouth, looking but. Lees eyes are black like coals and he actually has the nerve to bite Richards hand a bit before licking over his palm. Richard simply smirks from between his legs and motions with his free hand for Lee to help him by lifting his legs over his shoulders. Lee to his credit is more flexible than he thought and manages on the second try. 

He slicks his fingers with spit and much to the younger mans frustration he doesn´t get faster. Instead he slows each time Lee lets out another sound against his palm and only shows pity when he has three fingers in and one of them pressed against his prostate. Lees hips buck and he makes a sound Richard wants to record and hear over and over again. Maybe later. Maybe never. Pulling out his fingers and leaning forward he replaces them with the tip of his tongue, now taking both hands to hold Lee in place – he is beyond caring that the neighbors might hear, really and he also doesn´t want to be kicked in the head. Could be a moodkiller. 

“Please..”

Lee all but whimpers after ten minutes and Richard would gloat if it weren´t for his own need throbbing angry between his legs. They are both unsteady on their feet but Richard quickly realizes that there is no way the will be able to walk if they don´t change positions, so he helps Lee bend over the armchair and slides into him with one sure thrust that makes Lee his. He places a little kiss behind his ear before he starts to move in earnest, skin slapping against skin and he can see from the white knuckled grip Lee has on the poor chair that this will be over soon. As if to make a point Lee clenches his muscles around him and he can´t help but bite into his shoulder. A quiet groan signals him that Lee just came and he follows behind slowly, resting on his back, placing a kiss where his teethmarks show in delicate skin.   
Pulling out and away seems like something they both can hardly manage and they both topple to the floor again in an ungraceful heap of limbs. The CD has long since finished, their clothes are strewn across the room and their guests will arrive in a less than four hours. With a quiet groan Richard tells Lee all that who just smiles and places a kiss on his nose, pants clutched in his hands before sniffing the air. 

It is a minute before the fire alarm in the kitchen goes off and Richard laughs until he cries.


	18. Taking Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Look, Richard here is afraid that you won´t like his surprise and has been nattering in my ear about it ever since we arrived here. Now, don´t get me wrong, I like you both a lot, really, I do – like the kids I plan to have running around an obscenely huge Christmas tree someday but what the hell happened to talking?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on our little story goes (and by little I mean over 30k already and no stop in sight, oh well - that´s me) Anyways, thank you so much for all the feedback so far that keeps feeding my muse and I hope you enjoy <3 Until next time :)

It is good to see old friends again , Lee muses and he wonders where the others are in the world right now but he is certain Martin will tell them just after he has had enough to drink. He does, in the end – even if he doesn´t understand why on earth both Richard and him blush to the tips of their ears when he comments on the lovely furniture and wonders why the kitchen is in such a state. Luke, bless him – says nothing and just smirks into his wine, trying to hide the mirth he feels unsuccessfully and offering to help Lee with the dishes instead. They had called for Take out in the end but Lee is determined not to tell Luke as to why they had to resort to that. Well, not until he is properly drunk at least. 

Luke tries to rope him into conversation because Martin had made it very clear that he wanted to speak with Richard alone for a moment. He could have just said that, Lee thinks but he is also happy to let the other man stew a little in his juices without letting on that he has caught on to them and whatever they have to talk about that isn´t for his ears. 

“So, acting -how does that work.”

Luke tries with a smile that wavers on panic and Lee raises his eyebrows, setting a plate aside he has already scrubbed so thorough that he thinks it might break if he continues , which makes him stop. 

“Oh – well I hope to get into Julliard, still waiting on that but I try not to worry too much, it could do my head in.”

Luke nods and peers past him into the living room and it is a bit more than he can take. Not that he is mad but he is curious, always has been and that won´t change. Especially not with friends like Luke and Martin in his life, he thinks with a fond smile, throwing the dishtowel over his shoulder and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Okay, aside from awkward smalltalk I know you hate – what is going on?”

Martin, one room away and currently staring at Richard, tries to fight the urge to slam his head against the next hard surface.

“What is your problem? I mean, he will say yes – and what if he is afraid of flying? There are pills for that.”

Richard glares so hard at him that Martin suppresses the urge to flinch back, if only barely. It doesn´t help that Richard for his part hadn´t known that Lee was deadly afraid of flying until, very recently they watched some crappy b-movie about airplanes and their crashing to the ground in various scenarios. He had laughed about it at first but then Lee had turned his head away and his voice had pitched lower and there had been something like desperation in his tone that in turn had made him look up and in the end had made him feel like a right ass.

“And if he says no?”

Richard presses on, the glass of wine in his hand clutched a little harder while Martin just stares at him over the rim of his beer bottle.

“We still talking about boarding a plane, aren´t we mate?”

Martin has the cunning ability to duck the pillow Richard throws after him with ease and not even spill a drop. 

“Yes, we are. Hurry, I don´t know how long Luke can stall him.”

Martin rubs a weary hand over his face before shaking his head. Not that he doesn´t like Richard – has always has found him quite charming and partly hilarious. They were friends, despite them both taking the piss at each other on various occasions. He had been the One who had been critical once the whole thing between Richard and Lee had started and it hadn´t been because he did have something against the guy. No , that wasn´t it – he just had been afraid of what might come out of it once the haze of lust that had been apparent between them would settle. Even a blind man had been able to see that and honestly, he would have thought that it was just that. Nothing but a fling.   
He could admit it now, that he was wrong and that Richard -as much of a good guy he was, sometimes had the social skills of a cheese block.

“Have you tried talking to him about that?”

He says and stares at Richard who just blinks at him which makes him roll his eyes. Block of cheese, yeah – that cut it nicely. 

“Who has been talking to whom?”

Lee asks from the doorway, a smile tugging at his lips before flopping down next to Martin on the sofa and trying his best not to laugh at Luke. Really, he had tried – whatever he had been trying , and failed from the look Richard threw him. That also is the moment that Lee decides to have a bit fun of his own. 

“This doesn´t involve us kissing, or?”

He says as calm as he can, pointing between Luke and him, doing a very impressive job of not letting his real emotions betray him, as far as Martin is concerned. Martin just takes another swig of his beer, suddenly feeling the urge to search the kitchen for something stronger than beer but refraining from it because he is just a guest after all. Richard meanwhile looks from Luke to Lee and back again.

“What? No!”

So what if he says it a little louder and what if Martin mumbles something about cheese? Lee just grins, giving up on trying to hide his smile. 

“Shame.”

Luke mutters under his breath, shrugging his shoulders.   
“What?”  
He echoes and Richard just swallows his wine in one gulp, throwing his manners out of the window never to return again. 

“Seriously, what is going on? Is there something I should know?”

The worry in Lees voice makes Richard bite back on the sarcasm he feels welling up in his throat. There shouldn´t be fighting here – not when their friends are around and not about something that in essence is nothing but hot air. They have come to far for that anyways and there it is again, the little nervous flutter in his chest that he just can´t get rid of. 

“For fuck´s sake.”

Martin grits out before he turns towards Lee whose eyes widen for a moment, wondering what the hell is going on and Luke doesn´t blame him. He had wanted to tell him anyways but he wasn´t – well , not as direct as Martin and he felt that frankly they would have no right in mingling with anything that concerned Richard and Lee alone. Not that he hadn´t done his share of stirring up things in the past between them but that had been for them and he hadn´t minded so much back then. Now the times had changed – this had become more than a simple summertime romance and when he had told Dean and Aidan, well – the both of them had laughed so hard he had slapped them on the backs of their heads. 

 

“Look, Richard here is afraid that you won´t like his surprise and has been nattering in my ear about it ever since we arrived here. Now, don´t get me wrong, I like you both a lot, really, I do – like the kids I plan to have running around an obscenely huge Christmas tree someday but what the hell happened to talking?”

Luke can´t help it, he laughs at all the images that suddenly burst behind his closed eyelids and throws one arm over the back of the sofa and lies in wait for what will come next.

“Rich?”

Lee tries after a while, when he is able to speak again and Richard closes his eyes, inwardly counting to ten, then going on to twenty. There is something close to a scream locked in his windpipe and he wants to get it out but finds that he just can´t. After taking a calming breath, he moves to sit between Luke and Lee, looking at the younger man.

“God, you´re not going to propose, aren´t you?”

Lee says, only half joking and Richard chuckles. _No, not yet_ , he thinks silently to himself and can only blink once before trying to get his thoughts back in order, trying not to let them stray to the plane tickets already in his possession and the excited babbling of his niece telling him that honest to god she would never ever want anything else for a present if he only brought the prince along. He had to admit, he had been at loss there until Chris, the little shit that he was – had gleefully filled him in that his daughter was convinced by the pure force of Disney combined with imagination that not only every girl was a princess but there also was a prince for everyone. Chris, being himself – had gently told her (and of course, with no shortage of glee) that her dearest uncle had found himself a prince.   
Reality was, that said prince had a terrible fear of flying and Richard had the knack to leap before thinking when it came to certain things, so here they were. 

Lee just looks at him, grinning toothily and trying his best to go for a stern face.

“Oh Rich.”

He says , patting Richard on the knee before smiling. 

“There are pills for that.”

He continues and Martin just raises his eyebrows at Richard which says everything his mouth doesn´t say. 

“Now about the Disney Prince thing – I am not sure how I feel about that.”

At that Martin can´t keep quiet anymore.

“Yeah, especially if it should be rated PG.”  
He mutters and holds up his hands which makes Luke roll his eyes and ask for Whiskey. Richard follows him wordlessly into the kitchen wondering not for the first time what is happening to his life and feeling strangely at ease with it.


	19. Nothing but a heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Some people, meaning me.”
> 
> Lee says without missing a beat, taking a step forward. He is good at that , that hurt accusing look dragged over from his childhood and it somehow makes Richard furious enough to raise his voice. 
> 
> “Yes, like you. People who don´t listen and only hear what they want. I am far from being someones whore, least at all yours, sugarplum.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again . Thank you so much for your feedback so far and I hope you still enjoy this. On a different note, I also have (besides the already posted and on going _Moving in Stereo_ ) another long fic with those two up my sleeve but will wait to post something of that until I am a bit farther with my other stories, so stay tuned and enjoy the weather (which is sunny and bright here in Germany) Until next time  <3

“I didn´t mean it like that.”

Richard hears himself say into the silent room that a minute or four was occupied by breathing and laughter. Well, that is the past, he thinks bitterly to himself , looking over his shoulder at Lee who is looking at him as if he had been slapped and to his horror he feels worse by the second when Lee doesn´t say anything at all, just cradles his glass in his hand, eyes fixed on Luke who wishes for a hole in the ground to swallow him whole. 

“Oh, really. I am glad.”

Richard winces at the tone that Lee adapts, voice dripping with something close to venom, shoulders hunched. He wishes he could blame Luke on that but he doesn´t dare to say it and it would be far too easy anyway. He puts the dishtowel away carefully. So careful in fact that someone might think that he was holding a bomb. It feels like that anyways. Naturally Luke thinks it is the right moment to throw his hat into the ring. Not that he doesn´t have his own opinion of the pair of them since that fateful day in the ballroom. He rubs his long healed eye in memory and steps forward.

“Look, no need to get your knickers in a twist, we were just talking.”

Naturally he is also the only person on the planet who can make it worse by talking. Richard glares at him and tries to remember that Luke is still his friend, that he wouldn´t have had half the chances of making it where he is now for the mans advise. So he takes a desperately needed breath, trying to get his bearings together as soon as possible. 

“So, you are done thinking that I am a rich spoiled brat who practically bought you and stay with me because you pity me.”

Its a sentence , cutting like a knife. _No_ , Richard wants to say but his mouth opens and closes without anything coming out and isn´t that ironic in it´s own right. Luke had simply asked him if everything would be fine and he had told his friend- he had to remember that they were friends – that it would be fine, which apparently had let Luke to believe that it was anything but.   
Oh, he had known it even back when he had worked for Bloom Senior that the man now staring at him with murder in his eyes would be trouble. An accident waiting to happen, even if he tried so hard to believe things had changed. 

Maybe they did and he was just to blind to see that, to angry at himself to notice it in all of this – whatever it was. God, he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, instead he gritted his teeth and blew air through his nose when Lee kept silent and Martin peered at him from behind the younger man. 

“I didn´t mean it like that and I would never act like some people.”

He says instead and something in the air charges, electrical like thunder, ready to explode. Luke tries to say something but doesn´t when Martin makes frantic gestures from his place behind Lee which suggest he has said enough. He hasn´t really said something bad, well – not in his opinion. He had merely asked Richard if everything between them was fine and Richard being like he was had nodded and grumbled out that yes, it was. He hadn´t believed that for a second and when he looked at Richard again, whom he had known so long now that he knew when he was being lied to had sighed and told him that there was something on his mind. _Money_ , he had said as even the word itself would be poisonous. It wasn´t that he envied Lee, god forbid but when it came down to it Lee could go back to where he came from and Richard knew that his family would welcome him back with open arms where he on the other side had left what he called home behind without so much as a backward glance. 

It wasn´t that they didn´t talk about it, they just skirted around it very carefully and it had never mattered until now or so it seems. Luke glances back and forth between them, waiting with baited breath what will happen next.

“Some people, meaning me.”

Lee says without missing a beat, taking a step forward. He is good at that , that hurt accusing look dragged over from his childhood and it somehow makes Richard furious enough to raise his voice. 

“Yes, like you. People who don´t listen and only hear what they want. I am far from being someones whore, least at all yours, sugarplum.”

Luke chokes on his own spit, making a beeline for Martin and so standing between Lee and Richard. God, why did that always happen to him and how?

“Fine. Good to know that. That explains a lot.”

Lee grits out between clenched teeth and he would have left the room already but for Martin who is sick of such behavior and not nearly drunk enough for it.

“Can we please behave like grown ups for once. See, I think you are all crazy and get only away with it because you have the looks for it, but give a bloke a break, will you?”

At that they all deflate a little but Lee doesn´t speak more to Richard than he absolutely has to and when they wave Luke and Martin off a few hours later there is still tension between them. It isn´t that they never had an argument but it never has been that vicious, that cutting and worse of all, Richard feels like he is the one who has started it while his mind helpfully supplies that there are always two people or more responsible for an argument to start. In the relative silence that befalls them that night in the living room he can´t stand it anymore when Lee does nothing but stare at his hands. 

“You are right, you know. That there is a difference between the two of us and that ..well - maybe to some extend I am nothing but a boy to you.”

He takes a deep breath, trying his best to ignore the wetness clinging to Lees lashes, wanting to reach out and touch but he has his worries too and also he is glad that the younger man is talking. 

“I don´t know what to say to that, honestly. I just don´t know what it is that makes you think, still think I wouldn´t ..”

Lee stops himself, wipes his nose with the back of his hand and comments on the train wreck that is T.V.   
Richard swallows around the lump in his throat and counts to ten before forcefully dragging Lee against his body, chuckling because Lee squeals, no matter how much he will deny it later. 

“Listen, I ...really didn´t mean it like that but sometimes I just think about things.”

And Lee blinks at him , wide eyed innocence that Richard knows he doesn´t really has in himself anymore. 

“How about you stop thinking, then?”

It is nothing but a whisper, many more words and suggestions in the tone that is followed by the hands climbing up his shirt and clasping around his neck. A moment later the familiar weight of another body draped in his lap, so Richard stops to think about the voice of his brother telling him that he should finally come home and show the lad off, or of his mother nagging that he should at least call more than he does. Yes, thinking is overrated he thinks ironically enough and pushes Lee gently back, licking his lips. 

“I never would suggest that you are my pimp.”

He has no idea where that comes from but it makes Lee twitch in laughter so hard he nearly rolls off the couch and being a man of his word, Richard decides that enough is enough and hauls him bodily off towards the bedroom.


	20. Love by any other name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We are not fighting now, are we love?”
> 
> He says and Lee blushes a bit , belying that there is an age gap between them and some experience at well but he nods and tugs at Richards arms to pull him closer. He is in a particular mood tonight, still a bit frayed at the edges, still a bit weary but Richard knows that because he feels much the same before he places soothing kisses on the younger mans face, lets his lips travel down to his stomach and makes him giggle and curl his toes a bit in the sheets, hands flexing at his sides.
> 
> “Come up here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all - thank you for still reading and I want to throw in a special thanks to [yuuwaku](http://archiveofourown.org/users/yuuwaku/pseuds/yuuwaku) because she is a doll and you should go check out her stuff <3   
> Secondly - yes, there is porn here. Little else in this chapter because I really felt crappy and wanted to cheer myself (and hopefully others) a bit up. Until next time <3

“What has gotten into you and what have you done with my Richard?”

Lee gets out together with a giggle that is short lived when he bounces off the mattress and the older man just stares at him.

“Richard?”

He tries, voice a bit nervous because the man standing in front of him has still said nothing since dragging him off towards the bedroom they share among many other things. Not that he minds, not that he ever would mind but still, there is a little nervous flutter in his stomach because of their earlier argument and damn if that doesn´t quench down a tad of his lust. Richard just holds a finger against his lips and he is left staring and wondering at the same time when Richard strips efficiently out of his clothes and yet says nothing. He doesn´ really like that, silence, has never liked it but he knows that Richard is a more calm, more subdued man than him.

He has always been a bit hotheaded and that was also the thing that has brought them together in the first place. 

“Uh..are you still in there?”

Lee asks and for the first time in a long while he feels a blush coming to his cheeks and that is a rather new one for him when it concerns matters between them. 

“Yeah. I was just thinking.”

Lee raises his eyebrows at that, another giggle escaping him before he can help it and this time for no reason at all. 

“Oh, you think that is funny, do you?”

There is something in Richards eyes that belies his tone. Something playful and wicked, something new that they yet haven´t acted on and it makes something inside Lee ache and throb, makes him want so much more.

“Yeah, so?”

He challenges, voice a bit breathy and eyes fierce. It doesn´t help in the slightest that he is still fully clothed, that he itches to be naked but can´t move when Richard pins him to the bed with his full weight.

“You are a brat.”

At that Lee looks mock hurt, blinking until big and fake tears are in his eyes.

“How can you say that?”

He stage whispers and Richard chuckles.   
“Because it´s true?”

He volleys back and Lee just rolls his eyes.

“Oh I am screwed.”

That makes him groan because he realizes a little too late that he has given Richard the perfect opportunity to make yet another lewd joke but to his credit the older man doesn´t. He just smirks and begins to unwrap him, because really, there is no other way you could describe the way Richard peels him out of his clothes. He takes his time, breathes in and out, shallowly and Lee wants to savor each movement of the body in front of him while trying to hold it together. He does barely these days as it is, feels on edge because nothing really goes the way he wanted it too but he is to proud to call his parents, is to stubborn to – not that Richard doesn´t know. They make it, sure but he wants more from life than getting simply by and Richard , well he knows that the older man knows that too. And there is the matter with the family he yet has to meet, is terrified of so much, even if it is idiotic.

“Lee?”

Richard asks him and it must show on his face, all those conflicting emotions, all that mix between anticipation and fear. He blinks again, water in his eyes.

“I hate it when we fight.”

He hears himself say, trembling hands reaching out for the other man in a gesture that Richard is well aware of by now. In the nights when he awakes next to Lee the younger man clings to him, wraps himself around him sometimes and gives the impression that he never ever wants to let go and it makes Richard wonder why that is so and why he hasn´t got a thing against it when back when he was younger, he hated that. _That´s because you have grown up, you bloody idiot_ He hears Martins voice in his head and chuckles a bit inwardly before he concentrates on the matter at hand, namely Lee. 

“We are not fighting now, are we love?”

He says and Lee blushes a bit , belying that there is an age gap between them and some experience at well but he nods and tugs at Richards arms to pull him closer. He is in a particular mood tonight, still a bit frayed at the edges, still a bit weary but Richard knows that because he feels much the same before he places soothing kisses on the younger mans face, lets his lips travel down to his stomach and makes him giggle and curl his toes a bit in the sheets, hands flexing at his sides.

“Come up here.”

Lee says and pulls again, restless and aroused, moaning when their erections brush, legs wrapping around Richards waist. He wants to say many things to Richard in that moment - silly declarations of love and that he wants a cake for their upcoming anniversary – preferably with a stripper but he says none of that, just tilts his hips up a bit, fingers clutching at any piece of skin he can reach and he feels his grip slipping over strained shoulders up into Richards slightly longer growing locks which he secretly admires.

“Kiss me.”

He instructs again and it feels all wonderfully new, as if they are about to cross over another threshold that neither of them yet knows that they are standing on, but they do. This isn´t just a summer fling, nothing that goes away after months or even a year – no. Richard swallows, kisses Lee with more teeth than tongue before letting his fingers slide down and in and he also kisses away the little lines of discomfort that appear of the face he loves so much he fears he might be swallowed by his carefully locked away emotions. He moved his hips a bit faster, dragging Lees impossibly long legs until they rested high on his waist.

There was a flush covering them both, skin slicked with sweat, still – tonight it wasn´t enough.

“I want to see you come undone. I want to see you shatter, to know that you are mine.”

He didn´t really know where those words came from , but they had been lodged in his throat, buried in his soul somewhere and he wanted to press them out. Lees eyes where wide but he didn´t speak, couldn´t form one single word. 

“I want you to finally get it, that nobody – no fucking soul in this world will tear us apart.”

And Lee got it, he flipped them though, burrowed his face in Richards neck, near his breathed in the scent he came to love so much and whispered words himself while moving his body in a ever faster growing rhythm , growing tight as a bowstring,giving in and collapsing on top of Richard who shuddered beneath him but didn´t let go of him yet, made no move to pull out of his body. He was fine with that, turning his head to the nightstand and laughing a bit.

“Rich?”

He tried besides his tiredness. Richards hands on his buttocks flexed a bit.

“Yes?”

Lee swallowed the little titter that wanted to rise in his throat.

“Are those plane tickets?”

Richard had the grace to blush a bit but he nodded. He had been so good at distracting Lee until that point.

“I might have..bought them..on a whim , we can give them..”

Whatever he wants to say next is swallowed by a moan because Lee clenches around him.

“No.”

He simply says and that is enough to drive any rational thought out of Richard for the rest of the night.


	21. Dreaming , Scheming and Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes? And..uh – did you go and get the mail like that?”
> 
> Richard stares at him and he looks up and down his body and shrugs.   
> “I am wearing shorts, aren´t I?”
> 
> Richard just rolls his eyes.
> 
> “And just your shorts.”
> 
> Lee still doesn´t understand why Richard seems flustered but there are more important things than his choice of clothing. Not that anybody could cure him of that, anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go. Some new challenges for our boys. As always - enjoy, feel free to let me know what you think and until next time :) (I still can´t believe that this has 40k already but..hell I never was really for short things, was I? ..Oh..that sounded not as compromised in my head)

Richard doesn´t give the plane tickets back but he realizes with utter horror that he, even with all his planning and worrying has forgotten to buy a suitcase. Lee takes that in with a stoic face, much to calm for someone not even twenty one. He remembers very well when he was at that age and it makes him sound so old that he wants to hit himself over the back of the head with something heavy but he refrains even if only barely. 

“So, let me get this straight.”

Lee says, rubbing his temples like someone who might develop a migraine at any given moment. It doesn´t help that he is only dressed in boxers while pacing the hell out of the living room carpet Richard to concentrate on what he is saying. Maybe he is trying to make up for his more chaste years while being constantly horny. He gives a snort at that, snapping out only when Lee snaps his fingers in front of his face, making him look up. 

“Are you listening to me?”

Richard says nothing but pulls him down to him onto the sofa, eyes closing and head lolling a bit. He is tired. The last client he had was some woman who couldn´t dance for the life of it but insisted that he had been the one to step on her feet. He wondered when he had really started to hate his job and groaned. Lee, the bastard he was in situations like that didn´t leave him alone of course. That was one of the points he couldn´t really tolerate, to be taken care of , to be cuddled. He shuddered at the thought but still – it wasn´t the caring in itself. It was the feeling it left behind in him and so he just moved away from everyone who cared too much. Well, except Lee. Lee was different, had been from the start and he knew that. They both knew that.

“No. Thinking is what I do.”

Lee raised his eyebrows.

“Of Unicorns and fluffy puppies? Rainbows, something happy?”

He gave the younger man a glare but soon after he found himself chuckling.

“No, actually of how stupid I am for not having thought of thinking.”

Lee just blinks.

“Uh-huh.”

He says and giggles, rolling around the couch and off which serves him right in Richards opinion.

“Seriously, I haven´t thought about the whole packing thing and that I don´t own even own a bag that is big enough for traveling that far anymore.”

It wasn´t just that. It was that he felt like he would have failed by showing up on his parents doorstep after all with nothing that could be proven as successful for them. At least he is still thinking that, being him. He gives another snort and tugs Lee closer to his side before the younger man starts pout, cursing at himself that he always goes week for that.   
“That´s not all, is it?”

Naturally Lee notices that something is going on with him and because he loves the younger man that much he often wonders if he is insane for it all he nods, his mouth an unhappy line. They agreed to talk more, to say when something was bothering one or the other but still – they never really had done that on a scale it felt uncomfortable and Richard had the mild notion it would.

“No, love, it isn´t.”

He stares down to his legs, his feet and he winces. 

“I can´t dance forever. Actually, I don´t even know if I can do it for the next five years and it kills me that as soon as that comes up with certain people they will have been right.”

 _Certain people_ He thinks with disgust, can´t even say that he talks about his father and sees his face right before his eyes once he closes them again. The truth of it all is too much for him, that he can´t continue giving dancing lesson after lesson, that he actually feels it every time he stretches, that he maybe fought a little too hard and that in the end it brings him nothing but a cold and calculated gaze that all but bisected him. 

Not that he is a man of many emotions he lets show but somehow the look in Lees face and the arms draped loosely around his waist cause his eyes to water and overflow. He doesn´t realize it at first, only when Lee wipes at his face as he has done in reverse more than once even if they never really talk about it. There is no need for that nor has there ever been in some situations because they are so tuned into one another that it makes him wonder if he eventually is dreaming but in the end knows he isn´t.

“Hey.”

Is all Lee says and he rubs their noses together, crawls into his lap, holds on tight without it being in the least sexual and Richard is thankful for that, to know that the ghosts his mind conjures up can be exercised by a simple touch or a word. They just sit there for twenty minutes and say or do nothing but hold each other until he feels that Lee is indeed heavier than he looks and his face needs to be washed if he wants to restore some of his self esteem. Lee on the other hand gives him a worried look but goes for the mail instead, knowing Richard well enough by now to leave him alone when he really wants to be. Not that he always manages to do so at the right moment but he is willing to learn. He is young but not stupid. Still, he doesn´t bother to dress, because it is way too hot for his liking and the way to the mailbox isn´t really that long. 

At least he thinks that until a gasp can be heard behind him. He rolls his eyes, ignoring his mumbling neighbor and just stares at the letter in his hand as if it might be a mirage. It isn´t. It is real and burning his overheated skin, making everything, even Richard move towards the back of his mind for a moment. He wants to feel guilty but he cannot muster the strength for it, feeling like he might explode from sheer happiness. He bounds up the stairs, nearly forgetting that he might be angering their neighbors further and frankly he doesn´t care. This could be it, the big chance he has been waiting for, has been dreaming of. 

He only stops when he comes to stand behind Richard and notices that the other man is talking on the phone and from the looks of it, it isn´t a pleasant conversation.

“Yeah I know Graham. It´s not like that. Really.”

_Graham?_

He thinks and remembers a face he has been always aware of but had never given much thought of in any way other than a sidekick and that makes him wince in his head . He should make his presence known. Instead he eavesdrops further , their earlier conversation – if you might call it that, forgotten, the letter he has so desperately waited for clutched in his hand. 

 

“I know that I should´ve called sooner, yeah. Yes I am a fucking tit for not calling in over six months when we practically grew up – ouch that hurt.”

Richard chuckles, shaking his head and then he turns.

“Graham, I´ll call you later.”

There is some cursing from the other end of the line but Richard hangs up none the less.

“You have that look on your face. What´s wrong?”

He says mildly accusing but Lee just shakes his head, the letter in his hand clutched like a lifeline.

“I..Uh about the trip to your parents.”

Richard closes his eyes, counts to ten. He had called Graham for advice on some matters with the finances, had not really a clue about it that much. Not that they were broke, not that they were eating fast food only, still he had – because of all of the over thinking he had done. Albeit being surprised Graham had given him some advice and peppered it with a right amount of guilt for dropping of the radar for some time because he still was stuck working at Blooms, and wasn´t the old bastard a ray of sunshine since the incident with his son. Richard gave a snort at the thought and shook his head.

“Yes? And..uh – did you go and get the mail like that?”

Richard stares at him and he looks up and down his body and shrugs.   
“I am wearing shorts, aren´t I?”

Richard just rolls his eyes.

“And just your shorts.”

Lee still doesn´t understand why Richard seems flustered but there are more important things than his choice of clothing. Not that anybody could cure him of that, anyways.

“What about my parents?”

Richard says and Lee can practically see the wheels in his head begin to turn anew.

“Nothing. I just – why did you call Graham?”

It sounds more jealous than he wants to admit but he wants to have Richard for himself and even if the man might not notice it, Lee sees how some people look at him and it makes him fucking mad. Not that he would say that out loud. Richard doesn´t notice his glare anyways, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“Not for a date, if you wanted to ask that. I just called him up about the Bike. I want to sell it.”

At that Lee is at a loss, because he knows that Richard had loved that Bike more than anything the way he talked about it and how he had planned to finally bring it to them so that they could break some traffic laws. Lee didn´t even doubt that he meant it. Now, he had never really bothered about something like that and he also, like Richard knew that while they never could afford to go on wild shopping sprees or that sometimes they had to look what to buy for groceries they weren´t hungry, their rent got paid and that life was - if not brilliant or overwhelming, it had become normal. Domestic.

“Has this something to do with earlier?”

Lee asks and shuffles from foot to foot, nervous like a little kid. 

“No. I just think my biking days are over, that´s all.”

Narrowing his eyes the younger man tries to find out if there is more to it but lets it rest after Richards eye travel to the source for his prior excitement.

“What is that? I do hope not another bill?”

He tries to say it like he is joking but he isn´t. That is the last thing they need right now with all the things he has already planned , already up his sleeve for the next two months but he feels the world drop away from under his feet and he sits heavily on the nearest chair when Lee tells him with a beaming smile that he is holding an acceptance letter from Julliard in his hands. Actually he feels like he might cry again, because he wanted to sell the bike to purchase a ring, had already planned on proposing but maybe ..maybe the time wasn´t just right. _Not yet_ , the voice that sounds like Graham tells him in his head again and he shakes his head. 

“I won´t go if..”

That makes him look up.

“No! You´ll go there. I am happy for you, really I am. And you know that I love you and wouldn´t mind becoming your assistant, carrying your umbrella through Hollywood once you made it big, right?”

Lee just laughs and hugs Richard close.

“You watch too much T.V, you know?”

He says fondly and Richard winks, trying to reschedule what he has planned already and trying not to grimace when he thought of how Graham might react. Or his parents. Shoving that away he tells Lee to finally get dressed and under the pretense of ordering food, he calls Graham again. 

“Change of plans.”

Is all he says and he can fully understand why Graham is cursing.


	22. Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We are crazy, aren´t we?”  
> Richard rasps and Lee in turn hauls him close, wrapping him in an bone crushing embrace.  
> “Yes, we are.”  
> And is clear from that , that there is no way in the entire world he would want it differently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And our story continues :) Thank you so much for all the comments, kudos and love on this so far. It means a lot to me, especially since real life hasn´t been the kindest to me as of late but still, that is another story and here is hopefully something you enjoy <3 Until next time.

Lee loves Richard. He really does and the sheer effect how true that is still makes his head spin. It isn´t a summer fling, isn´t something that will be forgotten come Autumn. It is the real deal , so to speak and he wonders what his sister would say if she could see him now with his shaky hands sitting at the edge of the bed he shares with the man that has his life so upturned. There is no place in the world he would rather be, not even Julliard and that says a lot of things about the whole thing and his feelings. 

His hands are sweaty and he feels a bit like on his first date – which is ironic because his first date had been a mess, plain and simple as that but maybe it was the thing with first dates in general – that they either went horribly wrong or just right. He gives a stuttering sigh, forgetting all of the plans he had for the day and that have been a lot of plans, really. He just cannot remember them right now because he is staring into the drawer of their nightstand as if by any chance its contents might come alive and bite him. That makes him chuckle for no other reason at all than it being full of the things an sexually active couple has in their nightstand. He really should stop that particular train of thoughts and blinks. 

The condoms and lube are not what has him literally breathless for a moment and his sister on the other end of the phone _screeching_ so loudly that he also can hear their mother run into her room to check if she is getting murdered. She isn´t and Lee has to smile a bit at the pure note of annoyance only his mothers voice she still can bring across in that polite tone of hers. Some things will never change, he is sure of that. 

“Keep your fucking voice down, Sally. I still need my ears.”

He grumbles, staring at the closed bedroom door and trying to remember that Richard will be home soon from running errands. Now, sometimes Lee thinks he is not very good at those things – like seeing the obvious signs that something is changing. Not that he ever has done a lot of thinking his sister remarks dryly and he would smack her over the back of her head if she wouldn´t be so many miles away and giggling at his misery. His misery, which isn´t really a misery but something that makes him tremble with nerves.

He may be slow sometimes but the whole thing does make sense now. Richard selling his Bike or wanting to and the secretive calls to Graham when he thought that Lee was either sleeping or pouring on forms for Julliard before he would finally go there. It was his dream, his sister knew as well as his parents and while his parents had just taken it in their always calm way. His father may have grumbled a bit but he had been happy enough for Lee and while that wasn´t perfect it was a start. They still had different views on different things but he wasn´t really expecting that to change any time soon or ever for that matter. Now, he was currently on the edge of having a full blown panic attack and the last time he did have one of those he was about to have Sex for the first time with the knowledge of wearing his rattiest (but beloved) boxer shorts. Back then his worries had proven wrong and he did have an amazing night. 

“Is my little baby brother finally shedding his fledgeling feathers? Is he?”

He groaned, flopping back on the back, staring at the ceiling if it would hold answers for him when in reality all he could make out were the cracks in the plaster. They should get that fixed. There were a lot of things that he for that matter should be doing. Like packing for the trip that Richard had finally convinced him to make despite his fear of flying, despite that he doesn´t even know if Richards parents will like him. Richard is good at that - convincing people. There is something about the man that makes people believe they can dance for example even if they have the talent of a fruit fly when it comes down to it. Still, Richard tries and tries. Lee is not blind, he knows it takes a toll of him, makes him ache and hiss in pain sometimes when he comes home, crawls into bed after having it made into the shower while counting it as a win making it there without passing out. 

Sometimes he also is mad as hell at Richard because Richard seems to think for all the things they discussed that it would kill him to be the one to give the other man a shoulder to cry on. Oh, how they have discussed all that and more. Still, that has nothing to do with the panic attack at all.

“Lee, you still there?”

With a curse he notes that he must have zoned out and that his sister begins to worry – which isn´t really a good sign at all. 

“Yes.”

He all but snarls, squeezing his eyes shut and because it is sister on the other end of the line he can practically _hear_ her rolling her eyes at him and tells her to stop it, which leads to a shouting match that lasts for six minutes before they calm down enough to have a civil conversation once and again.

“So, you found a ring.”

She says, matter of fact like she has always done and he imagines her now, that big goofy grin on her face while she already makes plans. She plans everything in her life, down to the last bit and it still makes his head ache at times but at other times he is grateful for that. 

“Yes.”

He says and he feels the blood rush into his cheeks, imaging her watchful penetrating gaze that has people she goes up against in court shaking in their seats and for once he can relate to all of them without a scoff. 

“And naturally you called Orlando first, didn´t you?”

Her voice is mild and not accusing, which he is thankful for this time because he couldn´t really deal with it otherwise. Swinging his legs back and forth like an overexcited five year old. Never in his whole existence has he cursed a free day more than today. Orlando hadn´t said much to him. For a moment there was a stunned silence when he had called him and he was sure that he had interrupted the other man in his sleep , or worse at something else but given the fact that Viggo who normally really didn´t say much at all had been laughing his ass off in the background he thankfully hadn´t interrupted _that_. He shuddered at the thought of doing so, because – really, there was no way he would have lived that down, knowing his friends. There were days he still wondered how they all ended up together. 

“I might have done that.”

It sits a little bitter on his tongue but he knows that she understands. 

“And what did he say?”

She wants to know, her tone still normal but curious none the less. There are just things she cannot hide from him , they are blood after all. Orlando had jokingly said that he might have the wrong impression. Once he explains that to Sally an very unladylike snort comes over the line and she curses way too loud.

“For fuck´s sake Lee, it´s not like he starts hoarding jewelery all of a sudden. He doesn´t strike me as a dragon, or worse -someone wanting to start a rap carrier.”

He cannot help it, he giggles.

“That wasn´t meant funny, jackass.”

He pouts.

“But it is.”

Another sigh and then she gives in, laughing as well as the image her words conjured finally catches up with her.

“Look, all I am saying is that you should relax. For all I know he maybe has something planned- That is what I would do.”

A shudder wracks his body and he pinches the bridge of his nose. It´s not that he doesn´t want to think about what Richard might have planned but thinking in the same context of what his sister would do is just so plain wrong. 

“So I should..what – just sit it out?”

There is a rattling downstairs and he says his hasty goodbyes to her, disconnecting and thundering down the stairs to Richard, who is currently cursing up a blue streak, trying to manage getting into the door without dropping the four bags he is juggling. Wordlessly Lee takes two of them from the mans hands and makes his way to the kitchen.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

Lee, all composed and acting naturally – squawks, dropping the carton of eggs on the tiled floor, which in turn has Richard staring at him oddly for ten seconds.

“Oh no.”

Richard says and there is no doubt in the world that they both know what that means and that it has nothing to do with the eggs now a mess on the floor separating them. 

“I swear, I was just looking for my passport. You know I can never remember where I put that idiotic thing and I never travel much so I wanted to be prepared.”

Lee knows he is rambling now, a blush on his face right up until the tips of his ears. Richard is calm, arms crossed over his chest as he makes a beeline for the kitchen cabinet right by Lees head and opens it, brandishing their passports with a flourish.

“Ah, there it is.”

Lee says flatly, face still burning.  
“Yes, love. Like it has been since the day we moved in and you always forget it.”

There is silence stretching out between the two of them and Lee swallows a bit, eyes watering for no reason at all. God, how he hates his feelings sometimes. 

“So, that ring..”

Richard still says nothing, placing the passports back in the cupboard.

“Yeah. It´s for Roberta, you know.”

Lees mouth open and closes, while Richard shrugs.

“Roberta?”

Richard nods, face calm and serene as it has ever been.

“Yes, you know. She works the cash register at the market, wanted her to thank for the steaks and all she helped me purchase but she thought I ought to give it to the tall dork normally by my side, making rocket noises and pushing her kids around in one of the baskets. Says I should marry him – threaten him to a decent meal, get a few candles and all the romantic shit I normally don´t give a shit about.”

Lee blinks against the moisture wanting to overflow his eyes and he knows he is fighting a losing battle, so he sniffs as manly as he can.

“Ah, well – Roberta sure gives sound advice.”

Richard is stone still, jaw set in a hard line but Lee can see he is trembling, all nervousness that is kept together and hanging on to a threat about to snap. Still, Richard isn´t finished yet.

“Yes, I thought so, too. Still think that as a matter of fact but then I was _over thinking_ the whole thing and there is that shitload of doubts sitting on my plate. Like, does the bloody ring fit at all because I had to guess the size, you know”

All of a sudden Richard looks down and Lee takes the decision out of his hands, can´t hardly believe it when he opens his mouth next.

“Well, there is only one way to settle that, isn´t there. Try it on.”

Lee knows his knees are weak and his voice is wobbly but that is nothing in comparison to Richard who _runs_ out of the kitchen, skidding past the mess on the floor and taking the steps upstairs two at a time. There is clattering and cursing, followed by the banging of what Lee assumes might be the nightstand dresser before Richard comes bounding back into kitchen again, velvet box clutched in a white knuckled grip.  
They do not exchange many words, because Lee is trying his best not to cry and Richards fingers are shaking so badly he drops the ring nearly twice before it slips onto Lees finger.  
Its a perfect fit.

“We are crazy, aren´t we?”  
Richard rasps and Lee in turn hauls him close, wrapping him in an bone crushing embrace.  
“Yes, we are.”  
And is clear from that , that there is no way in the entire world he would want it differently.


	23. Family Portraits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here we are. Welcome to Hogwarts.”
> 
> Richard gave a snort.
> 
> “I do believe there aren´t garden gnomes in Hogwarts.”
> 
> Chris leered.
> 
> “So you _did_ read the books, after all. Ah ,that gives me a starter for conversation.”
> 
> Lee tittered, his jet lag mostly forgotten now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And our journey continues. As always enjoy reading and feel free to let me know what you think <3

“Will you stop murdering the bag of peanuts if I ask for booze?”

Lee doesn´t even look up from the object all his anger momentarily is focused on before giving up and flopping back in his seat. He is sweating and when ever the train so much as moves he wants to jump up and hold on to the luggage department atop his head, so Richard was a tad desperate. The flight was only halfway through and he cursed inwardly when Lee just glared at him.

“No, because then I will be able to panic and you do _not_ want that.”

He sounds for all the world like he would be a preschooler and not a man a few months away from starting his acting career on a trip with his future husband to meet the in laws. That makes him pause and he stares out the small window into the mass of clouds flying by and quickly turns his attention back towards the complimentary back of peanuts in his hands. He needs to focus on something else , anything else than flying but he only succeeds in dropping the little bag on the floor between their feet. Before he can bow down and grasp for them there is a hand on his thigh.

“Hey, no need to bark at me like that.”

There is amusement in Richards voice and it makes Lee flush all the way to the tips of his ears so he does the most manly thing he can think of and folds his arms across his chest, kisses Richard on the cheek.

“I have you to know that I don´t only bark but also bite.”

He whispers, just out of spite a little maybe so that he isn´t the only one to feel a bit uncomfortable in his skin, although by the looks of Richards distress is limited to his lower body parts. Lee allows himself to smirk and ask the flight attendant for another bag of peanuts and maybe some headphones. Richard just looks at him darkly and stares straight ahead, no doubt planning something but Lee can live with that.  
If somebody would have asked him a few years ago if he would ever see himself on a plane across the world to meet the parents of the person he is so damn in love with it hurts, he would have asked them rather impolitely to get there head examined because that would never happen to him – and yet it had. 

His gazes flickered to the ring on his finger and he flushed again, partly because he was pleased and partly because he felt guilty that he hadn´t thought about that for he knew just how much Richard did already have on his plate and that he really didn´t enjoy to make that trip. They were both stubborn in so many ways that sometimes he marvels that they are still together and that they ended up together in the first place.   
They are not Orlando and Viggo who are more quiet people, have made a life of their own without looking back. It wasn´t running away Orlando had said because as far as he was concerned they were all adults and if he could even imagine the two of them being together instead of how it was now. 

Lee had laughed so hard he almost had choked on the apple he had been eating at the time they had talked. Still, that was then and now was now. The plane shakes a bit and he twitches in his seat only for Richard to hold him down again. Richard is good at that, reassuring him when he feels like the world is tearing apart at the seams and he wonders if he has deserved that, knows full well what Luke or Martin would say to that if they could hear him even _think_ that. While Luke would at least try to be gentle and understanding , Martin would just give him that long look that means nothing but that he is done with all the shit. 

It makes him chuckle but in the next moment he squeezes his eyes shut. There is another shake, perfectly normal the captain says in a cheery voice that wants him to stand and go into that cabin to shake some sense into the man but he also knows that won´t be wise and so he tries to sleep for a bit, all the while aware that Richard is rubbing circles into his cramping thigh. Naturally the rest of the flight is without the catastrophic events he knows from various crappy movies he has watched in his life.

What those movies never quite describe is that if you have a certain height, you are just not made to flying. Actually, he feels like a cross between a pretzel and a tuna which he says Richard while they wait for their luggage to be released, thrumming with nerves where Richard is calm and collected which in turn makes him narrow his eyes.

“Say Rich, I don´t mean to pry but when I got my – well, calm me down shot before boarding , there wouldn´t be chance that you also told the good doc you are afraid of flying.”

Richard pauses his scanning of the airport around them and blinks slowly before scratching the back of his neck, a certain sign that he is hiding something. Lee on his part also has become good at reading the other man.

“Could be.”

He just stares at the man who is busy checking if their bags are finally arriving for them to pick them up and be done with customs and all that. Also he cannot wait for Richards brother to pick _them_ up so he can stretch out his legs on the comfortable guest bed he has been promised. Right now he can see that Richard is just as nervous as him and that it isn´t because of flying. That he hasn´t taken that shot to be calm for flying. 

“You sly dog.”

Lee teases but interlaces their fingers none the less and is glad for the squeeze that follows like it always does. 

“That he is.”

The voice sounds foreign for a mere moment but just as Lee wants to tell whoever dares to even speak to them to shut it until Richard shakes his head and laughs a little.

“Runs in the family, I assume.”

Lee says , dry as wood and is met by identical glares. He feels a bit outnumbered there and he would say something if Chris for his part wouldn´t gleefully rub his hands together and pat him on the back just a little to hard.

“So, you finally got here and in one piece. What did he have to do you to make you actually hop on the damn thing?”

Richard throws him a glance and Lee just raises his eyebrows.

“Wouldn´t you like to know, Chris.” 

He says around a grin and hums to himself while finally spotting their luggage. The moment it takes him to practically bounce over there Richard grabs his brother.

“That was not funny.”

He hisses and Chris just gives him a look that is a cross between pity and patience – a look that annoys Richard to no end, after all Chris should have known that it hadn´t been all about him seeing his parents again but about the things neither of them could forget and nobody really talked about. It was ridiculous that he geared up as if it would be a fight rather than a family reunion.

“I thought it was. Now come on and stop stalling.”

His brother knew him all to well but he also knew that it would have been futile to panic now. 

“So, how are things?”

He tries in the silence that fills the car Chris picks them up in ten minutes later and Chris shrugs. 

“They are normal. Nothing much out of the ordinary. Mum is preparing her shovel talk, dad is trying to calm his nerves and the wish to yell at everybody with yoga and you still look like you are being driven to your execution and not to the house you grew up in. So I guess nothing has changed much , just that we all grew a bit older.”

Lee who had been trying to fight of his jet lag and not to fall asleep again was suddenly jerked awake by that conversation

“Your father does yoga?”

Richard turned his head around so fast he could _hear_ the crick in his neck. 

“That is all you are getting from that? Really?”

Chris just titters. It´s not that he isn´t nervous as well and to be true he hadn´t even believed it a month or so ago when Richard still hadn´t given up on the other man, had tried to see it as one of his brothers crazy ideas, for Richard fell in love rather quickly in his opinion and just as fast he fell out of it. This time around though, he was surprised. He was ecstatic, not that he would say it but he was. 

“Here we are. Welcome to Hogwarts.”

Richard gave a snort.

“I do believe there aren´t garden gnomes in Hogwarts.”

Chris leered.

“So you _did_ read the books, after all. Ah ,that gives me a starter for conversation.”

Lee tittered, his jet lag mostly forgotten now. The house wasn´t large , wasn´t how he had expected it. It gave off a rather warm glow once they stepped through the front door thanks to Chris and his spare key. It was also rather silent but that was because Richards father was still working and his mother seemed to be in the garden as Chris filled them in while leading them upstairs but turning halfway on the stairs, staring down at Lee -which was a miracle in itself.

“You should know Lee, she knows her way around a shovel.”

Lee glanced at Richard who was smirking, trying to hold his laugh in because he , unlike Chris or Lee could see their mother come in from the garden from where he was standing, casually leaning on a suitcase.

“Yes, I also know a hundred ways to kill someone with my thumps if they spread bloody lies about me.”

Lee turned, nearly losing his precious balance but Richard grabbed him around the waist, tucking him against his side. A warm smile had spread over his face and Lee had no problem at all by identifying the woman at the bottom of the staircase as Richards mother. She had the same eyes and the same kind smile, although her face was worn a bit with age just like his own parents faces showed traces of life. 

“Mrs. Armitage. I am so glad to finally meet you.”

He tries and is a tad worried when the woman doesn´t say anything to him and he also draws his outstretched hand back to let it fall limply at his side. There is a chance he already fucked up but he isn´t quite sure until the woman chuckles, turns her gaze to her son.

“You know Richard – I can understand why you wanted to keep _that_ for yourself, my.”

Richard opens his mouth around air and snaps it close again.

“Mother!”

He finally manages but cannot press out another word, his grip on Lee tightening, 

“Richard!”

She says in the same tone, a glint in her eyes and _winks_. Lee is a little lost but he feels a laugh bubble inside his chest that wants to get out desperately for no other reason that Richards gobsmacked expression. Oh how he wishes for a camera right now. 

“Now as much I would like to hug the stuffing out of all of you, I do believe I am not really dressed to the occasion right now.”

It´s then that Lee finally registers her muddy boots and gloves. Apparently she came fresh from the garden and he was just a bit more nervous than he would have liked to acknowledge. Resisting the urge to slap his own forehead he just gives in laughs a bit.

“Sorry, I don´t really – uh – I am still a bit out of it from flying.”

Her gaze softens.

“I noticed that, yes.”

Her eyes wander to Richard and all of a sudden Richard knows that they will talk, not now but maybe later. 

“Chris, come and help me move that frigging gardenia pot , you can pester your brother later.”

Chris is not pleased, Richard in turn smiles brightly for the first time in a while and it makes Lee happy to see him finally really relax a bit. 

“You boys get a bit of rest – Richard knows where you can bunk up.”

For the first time in years Lee actually thinks about a bed and sleep without it involving Sex. Although the occasion will arrive sooner or later, he thinks and maybe he isn´t all that subtle because Richards gaze is just as hot and smoldering as ever.

“I meant rest, when I said it. We got very thin walls here.”

She doesn´t even give them a chance to be flustered before dragging a cackling Chris off into the direction Lee assumes the garden is in. He will explore later. For now he is still dead tired and his legs ache, he feels like he needs a shower or ten and from the looks of it Richard feels much the same.   
Once they are alone in a room that obviously has been that of child once and now is reserved for guests he pulls Richard close to him, interlacing their fingers once again. He knows it seems a bit childish but he needs that now, needs to know that everything is good.

“Are you okay?”

He asks and he hates how small his voice sounds, how afraid of the answer but he also knows he doesn´t need to worry when Richard nods and brushes s kiss against his lips.

“Yes.”

And that is enough for now.


	24. Sunlight in your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just for the record, I really hope your mother isn´t pissed enough at us for denying us dessert.”
> 
> The younger man begins and smiles toothily. That´s not everything he wants to say – Richard just knows.
> 
> “And since we are already wet and need a change of clothes, which leads to a shower beforehand – well – I could offer to ride you into next Tuesday if you are willing to face the wrath of your family.”
> 
> Lee says it so casually that Richard nearly chokes on the water he swallows once the younger man has dragged himself away and out of the pool, a twinkle in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again I felt the need for porn and yet again I try not to laugh when I think back to me saying to a friend once upon a time that I would write something _short_. Oh well. As always , let me know what you think and enjoy  <3

It takes them two full days to settle in and lose the jet lag. Also they need to catch up on some sleep which yet again reminds Richard that they both aren´t getting any younger, even when Lee says that to him over dinner their first night Richards mother just gives them both a look and decides on a whim that there won´t be more alcoholic beverages before both of her guests are well rested.   
She also ignores that her son looks at her like someone stole his favorite toy once she snatches the next beer he has in hand from his grasp. 

All this still goes through Richards mind those two days later on a very sunny Thursday morning.   
Chris just gives his brother that look. The look Richard knows all the way back from his childhood and it still gets to him every single time. Not that he admits to it because that would mean defeat. Not that Chris doesn´t pounce on it anyways. 

“You look different.”

He observes.

Richard just stares at him for a moment, wondering if there is something in his face but his eyes wander back to where Lee is sitting in the garden, dangling his feet in the pool his parents must have acquired since the last time he was home. It also has been a long time since he called that place home in his head. 

“Different?”

He asks even if he _knows_ that he shouldn´t do that. You never do certain things with your siblings – like taking their bait when you can practically smell it. Still Richard goes for it, if only to get his mind off the tantalizing sight of Lee wriggling his toes in the pool and laughing. It is such an innocent gesture that he wants to kiss it off the other mans face. Among other things that make him smirk around the cigarette he smokes out of the kitchen window.

“Yeah, like you are not about to murder someone. You know, different from your default setting.”

Chris says that with the patience of a saint and it makes Richard tear his eyes away from the lovely sight before his very eyes and focus on his brother.

“There it is, that look – and directed at your own brother.”

Richard gives a snort.

“Serves you right, you tosser.”

Chris uses the moment to look wounded until he laughs and snatches the cigarette from between his brothers lips.  
“Oi! What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
Instead of answering his brother just shrugs.

“I´ve been thinking.”

That is the point Richard just stares at his brother as if he has grown a second head but still he doesn´t say a thing about it for a few moments, just snatching his cigarette back. They were brothers after all he 

“Thinking? Should I be worried?”

Chris doesn´t rise to the bait like he has anticipated and that makes Richard turn fully from the window to his brother, a worried expression coming over his face.

“I don´t know if you should be worried. Just try not to get head over heels into something you cannot pull yourself out of.”

 _Again_. There are always the things in the air between people that remain unsaid but still they are floating around their heads. Richard knows all that, has thought everything through so much his head hasn´t stopped pounding on some days.

“I don´t want that anyway.”

He says without looking at Chris, all but swaggering into the garden, where Lee is daydreaming. Maybe it is that what has drawn him in the first place – that brutal optimism of the younger man and his dreams about acting. Not that Richard doubts for one moment having made the right decisions and that Lee will archive anything he wants to , stubborn as he is. Right now however, he doesn´t think of what will happen once Lee starts to study, once they won´t see each other everyday. Now he feels like he is fifteen again, sneaking up on the man still having his feet in the pool and his back turned. 

A sudden giddiness overwhelms him for a moment and that moment – in retrospect - should have been the moment he should have taken to notice that Lee who still had his back turned to him, did have extraordinary hearing skills. Naturally Richard didn´t listen to the voice yelling warnings in his brain and that is all it takes for Lee to whirl around and grasp his leg.

There are shouts and a deafening splashing sound once they break the surface of the water. Richard is the first to resurface, cursing up a blue streak while Lee just shakes his head like a dog and laughs. He cannot stop laughing for some reason and it is only then that Richard notices the ruined cigarette still dangling from in between his mouth.

“You really got nothing to say?”

The older man manages after a minute or two, trying to compose himself and look like he is actually mad but he has a hard time mustering up a scowl when Lee is looking at him like that. Damn it.

“Smoking is bad for you?”

Lee tries innocently, batting his eyelashes and not even trying to stifle the giggle that wants to rise in his throat. He is shaking with silent laughter by the time Richard flings the ruined cigarette somewhere on the lawn behind him and pounces. Never in his life he has backed down from a challenge and maybe it is that what makes him dive headlong into situations other people would run from. 

“Let me go, let me go!”

Lee is screeching by the time Richard has him in headlock, or at least Richard _thinks_ that is what Lee is trying to say. It is rather hard to make it out between all the splashing and their shouts which also attract his mother who to her utter credit just stares at them as she would at misbehaving children. She folds her arms across her chest and gives them both a look that could make flowers wilt if they are only long enough exposed to it. 

She says nothing before turning on her heel leaving them a little bit gobsmacked in their positions. Lee fearfully stares at him.

“What?”

Richard says, a little (okay make that a lot) confused by the sudden terror that seems to have gripped the other man for no reason at all.

“That was the _no dessert_ look. I want my pudding. I cannot live without chocolate, you know that.”

Chris uses that moment to remind them that they are not alone in the world by snorting rather loudly.  
“Don´t worry sweetcheeks , you´ll get your.. _pudding_ ”

Richard flushes at that and clues Lee into the meaning of his brother unsubtle ways to suggest that both of them might be a tad horny. That it actually shows to others. Richards face turns redder by the second and Lee grins broader in the same time.

“Just for the record, I really hope your mother isn´t pissed enough at us for denying us dessert.”

The younger man begins and smiles toothily. That´s not everything he wants to say – Richard just knows.

“And since we are already wet and need a change of clothes, which leads to a shower beforehand – well – I could offer to ride you into next Tuesday if you are willing to face the wrath of your family.”

Lee says it so casually that Richard nearly chokes on the water he swallows once the younger man has dragged himself away and out of the pool, a twinkle in his eyes. Now, he should be the wiser one of the two but there is something in the dark gaze that is thrown his way and the swinging in Lees hips that makes him rise out of the pool himself and practically _stalk_ after the other man. 

He ignores Chris as he pushes past him, making excuses that they need to freshen up before they come to join them for dinner. It takes him a few more minutes to explain that to his mother and she yet again gives him a look of blank recognition a mother always has when her child lies to her. He feels so much younger than he is when he tells her that Lee and him won´t join them for dinner because – well – they overexcited themselves a bit. At that he actually cringes in and outwardly, doesn´t say a thing to his smirking brother but snatches a bowl of pudding from the kitchen none the less.

“Jesus Christ.”

He mutters when he reaches the room they occupy for their holiday, locking the door behind him. Once he turns around he nearly drops the pudding on the floor because Lee is naked, sprawled out of the bed and has two fingers in himself, his face flushed.

“Couldn´t wait for dessert?” 

Richard rasps out, his voice dropping lower by the second. Lee just tilts his head, a lazy grin on his face, the hand not busy opening his body for larger things than fingers stroking his erection.

“Nope.”

He has a way to say that word so filthy that Richard feels the world tilt, his blood rushing swiftly south. Placing the bowl of pudding on a side table he makes his way over to the bed, licks his lips and tries for show if for nothing else to resist to remain indifferent of the other mans actions.

“And..pray tell – what did bring _this_ on?”

Not that he doesn´t know it, doesn´t know how much stress they did have back in New York with their everyday life with the things still floating in the air around them that needed to be addressed and taken care of. 

“Rich.”

Lee whispers and it is all it takes for Richard to shrug off his wet clothes. They both smell of chlorine and sweat but he doesn´t gives a rats ass about, just kisses Lee on the mouth like a starving man, grasps his fingers and pulls him so close that they nearly topple over each other. Still, he is who he is - a glint in his eye.

“Now, don´t _Rich_ me, sweetheart - you lured me here with a promise.”

Just as Richard had hoped Lee flushes a bit at that, eyes fluttering shut but he is shoved on his back none the less, eyes deep and dark. 

“I remember that, I am not senile.”

There is always a bit of a bite to Lee when he gets defensive and Richard loves it most of the time, really. Like now when Lee just raises his eyebrows at him and grasps for the lube in the nightstand, handing it to Richard with a cheeky grin and something that sounds awfully close to _I am not the one doing all the work here_ but he ignores it and prepares himself with a few strokes. 

It´s not been intended but he knows it would be an outright lie if he would say that he doesn´t like the way things have progressed, his hands on Lees hips always careful of not hurting the other man, searching for every sign of distress, always aware. He knows from the way Lees mouth opens and closes around tiny little moans that they both won´t last long but he is okay with that. They have finally found somewhat peace, even if a tiny little voice whispers in the back of his mind that it is just the calm before the storm.

The gaze Lee throws him is heated and full of lust and love, so much that Richard can barely stand it so he flips them, pounds into the body beneath his with all his might all of a sudden so much that Lee slides up on the sheets, no doubt ruining them.

“Rich.”

He whines, fingers digging into Richards shoulders, leaving marks but Richard cannot stop it, cannot trample down the urge that he wants to all but possess the younger man. It takes the gentle stroking of long fingers through his hair to calm him down, to slow things down enough to realize that they both have time, that the door is locked -that they left the haste behind themselves for their vacation.

Normally they are both louder but here in this bubble they are quiet, moving without much of the urgency they felt a few minutes prior and without speaking. Richard knows Lee is close from the tightening of his muscles and he himself feels heat pooling low in his belly – as nice at it is, they cannot stay like that forever he thinks mournful, snaking his hand between them, stroking Lee until he feels a splash of wetness against his stomach which in turn makes his hips stutter and empty himself into the younger man. He doesn´t even care that he might be a tad to heavy for the younger man once he collapses onto him, only moving his weight to the side when he finally pulls out.

 _Shit_ , that wasn´t graceful – he thinks with a rueful chuckle that makes Lee raise his head and squint.

“Just thinking.”

Lee just echoes his chuckle then and rolls onto his side. The younger man also knows that they probably have the worst timing in the world but it has never been spot on and with everything on their minds and the little or big things they still need to address. 

“You promised dessert.”

The American says instead of letting the moment being ruined by negative thinking and Richard just rolls his eyes at that, thinking that even if their trip has just started they would be in for quite a ride – no pun intended.


	25. Summer moves on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, it isn´t really a question. It is a fact. Richard grips Lees hand a bit tighter.
> 
> “No more running, get that?”
> 
> It means a lot more and isn´t only about the whole marriage issue , Richard knows. He would love to say something in return but he can only nod mutely. There is a moment of tense silence before Chris clears his throat.
> 
> “How about I get out that bottle of Whiskey I got stocked away?”
> 
> Maybe Richard won´t kill his brother after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again :D Nearing the 50K (Oh my god -I really never should say something about short things again) Anyhow, thank you guys again for all the lovely feedback so far and I am glad you all liked this story to stick around. That means a lot to me ^o^. Until next time <3

The vacation turns out to be what they need. The time to themselves they don´t have in New York.- They hardly see each other there but ironically enough that makes Richard think that so it will be better once Lee goes off to Julliard. Those thoughts he had pushed away, along with some of the darker thoughts about aging, not being able to pay rent and of course of being left. 

It´s nothing he should fear, he knows but there is always a little nagging voice in his head that tells him he doesn´t deserve good things , grant things. His mother watches them both closely without saying much but about a week into their stay she gently tucks him aside while Lee is in a deep discussion about what he expects of his time and if he has a plan B. He doesn´t and so he tells Chris. Tells them about the struggles Richard and him both had and Richard winces by the time his brother throws him a telling look. 

“So.”

His mother says to him and Richard wishes for a black hole to open up and swallow him whole, because he remembers that tone all to well from his childhood – a childhood he has frankly left behind or so he likes to think. Fumbling for a pack of cigarettes he usually has in the back of his jeans he frowns when he comes up empty. His mother just raises her eyebrows at him again.

“You can ruin your health when you are back in your own home. Not here.”

He chuckles, turning fully towards her. _His own home_

“My own home?”

He knows the ice he is skating is pretty thin and he expects many things but not the slap upside his head he had last received years ago for lying to her. 

“Don´t be daft. You know exactly what I meant. No need to dwell on the past, now is there.”

It´s not a question and he sighs, chest expending and constricting painfully. 

“I know.”  
He says instead in lack of a better comeback , inwardly kicking himself for it. 

“You really want to talk about my smoking habits mother?”

The tone is still light and he realizes to late that there is a certain glint in her eyes while she gently herds him into the living room. It´s a trap, he also realizes with utter horror. 

“No, dear. I was just trying to avoid the subject but you could try to be a bit more – ah, you know quiet. When you are _resting_. Maybe tell that to your lovely spouse as well?”

There must be someone pissed off at him in the universe because as much as he wants to be mortified that they have been _heard_ after all - he just cannot for the love of god, get over that single harmless word. _Spouse_ His feelings seldom betray him but when they do he is an open book, easy to read. He hates it.

“You still with me, son?”

Her tone has changed again and he is only saved from answering when Lee drops down next to him on the sofa, bouncing up and down like the kid he really isn´t either anymore.

“What did I miss? Did the Baby Photos come out yet?”

That settles it, Richard thinks. He _will_ murder his brother. 

“No, Chris and please try to act like a decent human being when we got company.”

His mother has always had the talent to change her mood in a matter of seconds and Richard wants to feel sympathy for his brother until he remembers how the other man always tries to get the best of him. They are brothers after all. Lee laughs a bit at that, drawing all the attention in the room to himself and flushing. Richard has to smirk a bit at that. 

“Well, I tried my best at raising them, but what can you do?”

She sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes when both of her sons protest loudly for a moment before she silences them only a mother knows how, turning to Lee. 

“It´s good that you are here anyway. One hears so much to the grapevine nowadays , it´s confusing. For instance I thought that you and my son would be already married, since you are wearing a ring and all but that doesn´t seem to be case , judging by the fact that said son looked at me like I would have said he grows bald on the back of his head.”

Richard chokes on his own spit for a moment, masking it with a cough and not really daring to look at Lee. 

“Well..we. No. We aren´t married, yet.”

Lees face is earnest, not closed off but weary and then Richard remembers how they met, that there were always plans for the man, that his whole life had been planned out already by others and that he was just as scared of what would come to them as Richard. Maybe he hid it better because he wants to become an actor. That makes Richard snort but he recovers quickly and flushes. He dimly wonders if he will relive his teenage years over and over again when faced with his mother.   
Mothers could have that effect on their sons, he guesses, clenching and releasing his fingers in a steady rhythm until Lee grasps one of his hands in his own. He has slimmer fingers than Richard and it might be the first time he notices that or he just is so used to those fingers around his own by now that he doesn´t even want to imagine one day without that feeling of them around his own.

Lees fingers are shaking, like the very first time they had a fight, like the first time they made up after. Richard doesn´t blame him to be nervous, he is it himself and it might show more on his face because the people sitting across from them know him his entire life. 

“Oh?”

His mother says without even batting an eyelash as Lee takes in a sharp breath, no doubt ready to launch into a lengthy speech how they know exactly what they want for a wedding, that it just has a little time until other things are settled, that yes – he knows he is a bit selfish that he puts himself first when it comes to that. Richard can read Lee like an open book as well, as much as he denies it when they are among their friends but it´s just another fact. Whatever Lee might want to say never has the chance to leave his mouth. 

Richards mother also has the uncanny talent to talk very fast when she wants to do so, something he has inherited from her but also denies with a vengeance. 

“I am glad, really. You know, not that I am particularity happy that Richard hasn´t tied the knot yet the way he talks about you and moons over the lovely person you no doubt are.”

She shares another glance with Chris again and Richards urged to kill rises another tad but Lees fingers keep him grounded. 

“I beg your pardon?”

Lee is no doubt confused. Richard cannot blame him, it´s like watching a tennis match without having the slightest clue about the game in itself.

“As I said, One hears things. I may be a bit older than you, but I am not deaf or god forbid stupid. At least I like to think that of myself.”

Richard can see that glint in her eyes again, that glint that dares someone to say _something_. Nobody does, thank god.

“I would be insulted if I wouldn´t get an invite at least. A proper one. Not one of those garish online things that glitter and move. Those things hurt my eyes. Just so you know.”

Lees mouth opens and closes making him look like a rather lost fish on land. Richard bites the inside of his cheek from laughing without much success, only stopping when his mother fumbles in on of the many pockets of her dress, finally unearthing the cigarettes he had been searching. His eyes widen and then narrow when she elegantly produces a lighter as well to light the cigarette between her fingers up.

“What happened to ruining one´s health and all, mum?”

He hears himself ask before he can keep his mouth shut. She just smiles around the smoke coming out from between her lips.

“My house, my rules.”  
Yes, he remembers that as well from his mother – bending her own rules to her whim and he loves her none the less.

“Before I was so rudely interrupted by Richard here – I wanted to make sure you understand something my boy.”

He can feel Lee stiffen beside him but his eyes are unwavering, his chin raised high. It pains him a bit that Lee is always ready to spring to the defense and he wants to punish the people that put him there all over again but he also knows that it would a futile attempt to try. It just wouldn´t be his place. 

“I can assure you I really..”

She interrupts Lee, despite her earlier chastising of nobody having manners or lost them. 

“I know you mean it. Both of you. I also know that you both are aware the world is still a cruel place sometimes and that there are people out there not meaning it well. For fuck´s sake you are both grown men.”

This time it is Richard who opens and closes his mouth like a fish on dry land. He hasn´t heard his mother curse like that , well – he cannot really remember it. Her gaze turns to Richard and it holds something in it he might have forgotten. A memory of some long ago talk they had, in another place but on nearly the same subject. He cannot put it together now but he knows that she means every word she says by now.

“Sorry for that but sometimes it is frustrating to think one has failed as a mother. After all, a son should feel confident enough to tell her he gets married or plans to do so, shouldn´t he?”

Again, it isn´t really a question. It is a fact. Richard grips Lees hand a bit tighter.

“No more running, get that?”

It means a lot more and isn´t only about the whole marriage issue , Richard knows. He would love to say something in return but he can only nod mutely. There is a moment of tense silence before Chris clears his throat.

“How about I get out that bottle of Whiskey I got stocked away?”

Maybe Richard won´t kill his brother after all.


	26. All night long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard peers down into his drink.
> 
> “I think, I need something stronger.”
> 
> Lee just slings an arm around him and laughs, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 
> 
> “Now we are talking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my lovely , lovely readers. I am so sorry that it took me so long to update this story but I had a rather hard time in my life and thus I just couldn´t update as much as I would have liked and writing something in that time wouldn´t have been nice anyhow. Things are better now and still getting there and there will me more regular updates and more works posted again. However, thank you so much to all of you who read and comment and make suggestions, it means a lot to me <3

__

_“You don´t want him to go, do you?”_

_His mother is to the point on the day Lee and him are ready to go back to their live back in New York, as brief as that may be about now with Lee already halfway away already, even if only in his mind. Still, she has a point. He doesn´t. He wants to cling onto Lee a little longer, although he promised Lee otherwise.  
“No.”_

_He says, jaw a tight line, suitcase snapping shut. She snorts._

_“You were always quite the rhetoric, son.”_

_She says and he gives something between a laugh and a grunt._

_“I know.”_

_He replies short and almost with a huff that proves once again that his mother is right. It annoys him much more than he wants to admit but he doesn´t say a word to his mother because he wants to part on good terms this time around. She gives him that look again, that look that only mothers can give their children if they drive them nuts._

_“Talk to him.”_

_Is all she says and he gives a heartfelt sigh._

__

“Rich? Your hair is on fire.”

Richard merely blinks, trying to act as normal as possible before he blinks up to Lee. Lee who has been talking to him for the last half hour or so about what his schedule would be like, when he would be able to call and that he would text Richard every night at least or so he promised. Richard himself felt the floor under his feet open and swallow him whole, although that was all a figment of his imagination. It was downright insane. They were sitting in their bedroom and ready to keel over after another day of packing things. Or Lee was. 

Richard kept looking at the other man and tried to – well – he didn´t know what he was trying.

“Please, babe , don´t tell me you are having a stroke.”

Lee was only half joking and Richard couldn´t blame him. He must have been quite the sight, sitting there with wide eyes and an half open mouth, miles away from the here and now.

“No, I was just thinking, is all.”

Lee sighed, placing the list he still held in one hand and which didn´t really help him sort the chaos of the things he wanted to take to his dorm room on the bed besides Richard who at least was blinking now and then again which he took as a semi good sign. He was excited,so much that he drove Richard mad a few times when he kept bouncing around the older man.

“Overthinking, you mean?”

It was his right to tease a bit, wasn´t it? If only to lift the mood that had settled over them although they should be happy. Really, they made it and it wasn´t a saying, wasn´t a hollow phrase. It was a fact that nobody could deny. They had friends and family that accepted them and it had taken a great deal to come to the point where the stood now – still. They made it. Lee sometimes, in the more quiet mornings New York has to offer them , ponders if it is still a dream and pinches himself on the arm just to make sure.  
Richard cleared his throat.

“A tiny little bit - _maybe_.”

He admits and Lee cannot help it for the life of him, he laughs because Richard isn´t good at that. The whole telling things and talking about his feelings just wasn´t the mans thing and Lee, well , he wasn´t that great at it either and yet they were here. Their own domestic bliss, if you could call it that.

“Come on. Get dressed.”

Richard looked like he was having a stroke again but Lee knew it was the face of utter disbelief the man wore now and then. Mostly Richard looked like that when Lee got _ideas_. A fine shudder raced up his spine and he narrowed his eyes at the man he loved so much. He reminded himself of that sometimes when they fought - like every couple did he guessed.

“Okay, I bite. What is on your mind?”

Richards eyes were still tiny slits and the way Lee smirked he wasn´t really sure if he would regret the words that left his mouth prior but what was done couldn´t be undone. Lee moved forward, surprising him for a moment before gripping his hands in a sure grip, eyes sparkling. 

“We´ll have fun tonight.”

_Oh, shit_

One hour and a cab ride that neither of them wants to relive _ever_ , Lee drags Richard through a door and his eyes nearly fall out of his head when he sees the decorations adorning the walls. 

“Love, what are we doing here? You want to pick up a stripper or asking me to change my profession?”

The barkeeper gives them both the stink eye.

“No, we are meeting Lucy.”

Richards eyebrows rise up into his hairline, only stopping when he remembers that Lee had told him about the woman who also would be attending Julliard with him and lived in their neighborhood. 

“Ah, yes – I remember.”

Well, part of him remembers. The part not worrying all the time that Lee might leave for good after all, although they have talked about that so many times already it should be clear that Lee won´t. 

“Liar.”

Lee says fondly and hands him a drink that comes in a color Richard has never seen before and clashes horribly with the rest of the bar. A heavily tattooed woman with a Mohawk and dressed completely in leather comes to stand beside Lee, a grin firmly in place.

She doesn´t look like a Lucy in Richards books. The first thing she does though is laugh.

“Don´t look so shocked, I am fresh out of a rehearsal and had no time to change yet.”

Lee laughs so hard he is on the verge of crying. Richard finally takes the drink he has been offered and wonders where his night might lead and secretly what Lucy really looks like, although he wouldn´t admit that under torture.

“Oh God, I am so sorry, I should have said something - but..”

Lee doubles over, obviously in stitches.

“Ah, never mind – it´s fine – go on and laugh about me. So, why are we..here.”

The Brit eyes the Barkeeper warily before adding

“In this fine establishment.”

The woman looks at him, eyes calm and calculating before another one of those large grins spreads over her face.

“We are here, because my little Brother Clarence owns this joint and all the drinks my friends and I consume are on the house.”

 _Clarence?_ Richard snorts and tries to imagine what kind of guy that might be until Lucy, who doesn´t look like a Lucy at all (okay that is mostly due to the costume she still wears, he knows – still it unnerves him a bit) saunters over to the six feet tall bull of a man manning the bar and pinches his cheek.

Richard peers down into his drink.

“I think, I need something stronger.”

Lee just slings an arm around him and laughs, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“Now we are talking.”

He says and grins brightly and Richard knows that he is doomed. Doomed because if Lee would suggest that he runs naked around the Eifel Tower wearing High Heels, he would do it, doomed because he knows he will in no way come out of this sober and he has two dance lessons in the morning and also doomed because Lee reminds him why they are meeting Lucy here. Not because Lucy also will be attending Julliard after being tired of the odd and underpaid acting job here and there – no. 

“I beg your pardon. I must have misheard.”

Lee gives him a look that he clearly has understood everything quite clearly.

“I told Lucy what you do and you always can use clients, so I thought.”

He shrugs and Richard orders another shot of Tequila he dearly is in need of.

“I guess there could be worse fates that having a client like Clarence.”

Clarence eyes them again and then he leaves his post behind the bar and walks over to them.

“So your man here filled you in on the details the pain in my ass I call my sister forgot to mention?”

Richard swallows around the rest of his drink before he looks up at Clarence. It´s the first time in a long while that he needs to look _up_ at anyone. Even longer that, when looking at that someone he feels like he is about to loose his teeth if saying the wrong thing. That really hasn´t happened to him in a long time. 

Lee has filled him in all right. So Clarence needs to freshen up on his dance steps because he gets married – nothing out of the ordinary. Except that the woman he intents to marry reaches his navel. Barely. Oh and the little tidbit that before he got himself a new customer (and maybe many more, hence the bar, despite the garish decorations and all – being packed all the time) wanted a demonstration. _Right now_

Richard counted to ten and remembered that he loved Lee. That Lee wanted him to stop worrying about bills and about other things as well – he only wished the other man would have told him something about that part sooner – which he truly hadn´t and Richard also knew exactly why. He would have flat out refused.

Lee slinks up to him , honest to god pinching his ass. 

“Go get them tiger.”

And with that, well - Richard simply has had it. He downs the next shot that is pressed into his hand and turns before looking a Lee with dark, unholy eyes. It reminds Lee of their very first meeting together. The atmosphere is charged and everything around them and Lee swallows.

“As you wish.”

He whispers before dragging Lee onto the dance floor under the whistles and catcalls from the other patrons. He doesn´t give a rats ass about it before he starts to whirl Lee around the floor like a ragdoll, moving effortlessly through every routine move he can think of. Its in his nature, he does it blind by all means and he knows that Lee is in need of another lesson. All that he whispers towards the younger man who looks at him with blown eyes as well.

“Richard.”

The wobble in Lees voice gives Richard life and it makes him also very hard – not that Lee cannot feel that.

“Oh no. Dancing first. You wanted something for me to fill the first few weeks when you are ..before you come back – so you got yourself in this mess, all on your own, love.”

Lee groans. He knows that Richard is right. Lucy meanwhile corners a rather terrified looking Clarence and reassures him that what Richard and Lee are doing right now on the dancefloor is advanced and not for beginners. 

“You know , it´s fucking hilarious that the guy complained about the look of the place, thinking it was a strip joint in the first place when he got moves like _that_ himself.”  
Lucy gives her brother a look before laughing. Neither Lee or Richard care about anything else that goes beyond their eyesight anymore and Richard leans in, impossibly closer still, nose to nose with the other man, still moving, still aware of all the things he wants to do but cannot right now.

The songs changes and they move off the dancefloor, both a bit stiff legged and in no condition for conversation whatsoever. Clarence just looks at them.

“Tell you what. I hire you as long as you don´t dance with me like with him.”

Lee pouts. Lucy titters.

“I wouldn´t mind that. Not one bit.”

Lees eyes narrow. 

“Hey!”

He says and Richard smirks for a bit, informing the younger man that he brought that all onto himself, which Lee grumpily agrees to. 

“Wonderful, however .Lee and me – well, we´ll need to be off. There are still a lot of things to do. ”

 _I bet_ is the last thing that Lee hears when he is practically shoved out the door and into another cab by Richard. His method of distraction has worked it seems.


	27. Blue eyes crying in the rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, then there need to be rules – like not letting Martin near the beverages.”
> 
> Richard raises an eyebrow.
> 
> “We´re talking about Martin, you know.”
> 
> He says flatly and Lee throws a hand over his face in agreement , a muffled curse on his lips that makes Richard smile. He never thought he see the day something like domestic bliss could be something he would crave and yet here they were. 
> 
> “Oh, I got a rule of my own, you know – No throwing of guests into the salad bar.”
> 
> Richard grins from ear to ear when Lee finally realizes what that jibe is meant at and laughs even more once he is smacked with a pillow.
> 
> “Oi! No hitting the groom.”
> 
> Lee just stares at him, nose crinkled.  
> “I am entitled to do that because sometimes you have the romantic understanding of a turtle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am baaack - or ..well something like that. Enjoy <3 Feel free to leave comments and suggestions and have a lovely time :)

There is much they have to discuss, there is even more they should talk about but talking gets dreadful and dreadful things are the last things you would want before the other half of your heart walks away, so they don´t talk. Not one single word is uttered once they make it home, no complaint is really said when clothing drops to the floor, just soft and tender touches on heated flesh against heated flesh.

_Crashing and Burning_

Richard thinks in his overloaded brain before he pulls Lee close, a bruising grip that has to hurt but Lee isn´t a child anymore, not the same man he met in that summer that seems so long ago even if it isn´t. There is so much feeling in his chest that he cannot, will not speak because he knows from the look the younger man throws him that it will probably end in tearful statements neither of them can use right now or ever.

“Rich.”

There is a tremble in Lees voice , a tremor that reaches from his head to his toes and that says so much more , so Richard kisses him, a sure hand in his unruly hair, foreheads pressed together, body to body.

“I am here. I´ll always be here.”

He hears himself say and tries not to think of what would his friends say to something like that coming out of his mouth. But that has been one of his problems his entire life, hasn´t it. Worrying what other people would think and what he could do to make him see his point. It was exhausting in more ways than one. 

Godness is he thankful that Lee isn´t able to read his mind, because – well that would be a bit awkward for him. They move in unison, limbs interlocked, breathy moans filling the too small room. It´s maybe a little desperate once Richard nearly slams Lee against the wall above the headboard but he cannot help it, doesn´t want to because he really doesn´t know when he can do that again, when they have time for that.

Afterwards they sink into the pillows, exhausted and sweated, breathing labored. Lee faces him and he has that look on his face. The one that says that he just _knows_ something is going on, something should be said. 

“Staten Island Ferry.”

Richard blinks, once, twice – not really understanding what Lee is talking about, if he has talked at all or if it is a simple figment of his imagination as well but no. Lees mouth is moving, forming those words again.

“When I got my first break, lets get married there. Invite your parents and mine ,see who throes who over board after the first round of drinks or so.”

Richard sits up so fast, he thinks he might be in danger of snapping his neck, not knowing why and how that came out of nowhere now. They wanted to take their time, wasn´t that the plan? Or something fancy? And suddenly, suddenly he laughs. He cannot help it. 

“What´s so funny?”

Lee wants to know, a tad irritated. It takes Richard a moment before he can breathe and tell Lee in glorious detail about the one time his bunch of friends and him had gone fishing and how that had ended. Lee listens with some amusement as well, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Well, then there need to be rules – like not letting Martin near the beverages.”

Richard raises an eyebrow.

“We´re talking about Martin, you know.”

He says flatly and Lee throws a hand over his face in agreement , a muffled curse on his lips that makes Richard smile. He never thought he see the day something like domestic bliss could be something he would crave and yet here they were. 

“Oh, I got a rule of my own, you know – No throwing of guests into the salad bar.”

Richard grins from ear to ear when Lee finally realizes what that jibe is meant at and laughs even more once he is smacked with a pillow.

“Oi! No hitting the groom.”

Lee just stares at him, nose crinkled.  
“I am entitled to do that because sometimes you have the romantic understanding of a turtle.”

He huffs and by god, how sad and forlorn he has been in the past hours of thinking about Lee leaving him soon to take his chance, he cannot help the body wrecking shudders that will no doubt hurt his ribs later on because he hasn´t laughed like that in a long time. He doesn´t care, not at all. 

Time doesn´t stand still, however. It moves on, faster than they both might like and so the day they both have feared arrives. Even the weather seems to be colder although they both know that isn´t true , it´s just a feeling of loss creeping up on them.

“So.”

Richard says, loading the last box into the trunk of his car that Lee has packed to take to Julliard by hand. He doesn´t take much with him but it is hard enough as it is Richard thinks and heaves a sigh, nerves paper thin. It´s like they are stuck in a moment, not knowing what to say, all other things around them fuzzy or blurred. 

“So”

Lee parrots. They are still shitty at goodbyes and it will never change, or so it appears.

“Give them hell?”

Richard tries, eyes crinkling at the corner and naturally that is, when Lee looses it. _Boys don´t cry_ he can hear his fathers voice in his mind but he ignores it although wiping furiously at his damp face. 

“Hey now there love. I said give them hell, not drown them in your tears.”

And all of a sudden Lee laughs, a tinny broken sound that in turn makes Richards eyes water. They are quite the pair, the two of them – not that either of them wants it any other way. This is mainly why Richard for his part never stuck around long enough in any other previous relationship. He can freely tell himself it now and it makes it that much worse, somehow – that he can admit that he now prefers _this_ to the life he once told himself he wanted. Nowadays, though , things have changed from what he once wanted. A lot.

“Just training my skills, you know – acting at that.”

Richard just scoffs, fumbles in his jacket pocket for cigarettes he no longer claims to smoke and shakes his head once Lee produces them crumbled from his back pocket.

“Sorry?”

The taller man smiles sheepish, eyes still dangerously wet but he is keeping himself in check. 

“I wanted to quit anyways.”

Richard tells him and that makes them both laugh before Lee climbs into the car and drives off. It is only after he cannot see the tail lights anymore that he allows himself to let his own tears flow before he turns around thinking about the Staten Island Fairy and of plans for a wedding.


	28. Hard days and Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I wouldn´t do that.”
> 
> This time it´s Grahams turn to raise his eyebrows.
> 
> “I am not damaged enough in the head to try rock climbing, yet alone to hide in some mountain. Plus, I heard the internet connection there would be shitty.”

Graham stares at Richard for all but ten seconds before he walks past him into The Armitage / Pace residence and gets out the hard stuff. Richard would kiss him if he wouldn´t be so fucking furious. He is furious at a lot of things these days, he thinks because he is thin skinned and even if he knows that he has nothing to worry about. Well. Technically. 

Four months have passed and as expected Lee cannot write or phone him every day, he is busy. They both are. They have been through much together, he knows that and Graham knows as well.

“Did you hear?”

Graham says in a way of greeting and well - _no_ , Richard hasn´t heard what Graham is talking about. He is to busy struggling with everyday life and the fear that it slips away from him, right through his fingers that never managed to hold onto the things he loved most in the world. And isn´t that pathetic ? He snorts.

“Oh Christ, drink before you cry so you got an excuse!”

Richard just scoffs at his best friend and shakes his head. He might have heard whatever Graham has been talking about but he has had a hard time listening to anything except the thunderstorm inside his own head.

It´s not that Lee and him have had a fight over the phone, or Skype. No, that´s not it. He knows that some people might laugh at him for the fact that he never has been that emotional in his entire life before. One of them being Graham who snaps his fingers in front of his face.

“No?”

He tries and Graham rolls his eyes at him. _Bastard_

“Yes you have. You simply choose not to listen, you wanker.”

 _Ouch_. Well, it is true after all but he is tired and cranky and the one person he loves more than anything in the world at this time and place is not with him, so forgive him for not listening to gossip. 

“The both of you will cost me the last of my rather fragile nerves, you know that Armitage?”

Richard just raises his eyebrows, uncapping the bottle Graham so wisely placed in front of them because the tone in which the other man speaks is so sugesstive.

“Orlando´s father retired.”

The look on Richards face is still the look of a man who doesn´t know left from right but he knows that will change. Just give it time – well and a few fingers of Whiskey, he assumes with a chuckle he not really feels. 

“Good for him, then.”  
He says as neutrally as he is able to. He is mighty impressed with himself as it is, because he hates the man just as much as the man hates him. It´s mutual he guesses and he knows that will never change even if they should meet again on more pleasant ..well – fuck that. 

“So, Orlando runs the place now.”

Graham says it so casually that Richard chokes on his drink. 

“You´re shitting me.”

Graham doesn´t say a word and his facial expression is the same mix between annoyed and disbelieving it has been the entire time since he practically _waltzed_ in. 

“No I am not but there are things I know Richard.”

It´s that same tone again he has known for years. That tone that suggests that Graham wants to help and he himself wants to punch the man square in the face. It´s nothing personal, it´s just the way they have always acted around each other since they met.

“And what is it that you know, if you mind sharing before we are both too smashed to know our names?”

He knows he is being an asshole on purpose but he also thinks that he has the right to be just that if someone would ask him. Problem is, nobody does these days.

“You´re not happy here.”

It´s said so simple, so matter of fact that he wants to protest just because he can. 

“No.”

It comes out more like a croak than an affirmation that he is happy where he is but it goes south because naturally Graham is right. He isn´t happy. It has nothing to do with Lee, that much is clear as a blue sky on a disgustingly warm summer day. It´s just that he is running himself ragged to fulfill his dream and that he sees his friends not often enough. 

“Is that why you came?”

He asks when Graham says nothing and Graham just sighs at him before he laughs and practically inhales his drink. 

“Not only. I wanted to come by and see for myself why on gods green earth your lovely boy worries so much that he can´t be bothered to do anything in between whatever he does to do what he does. Get what I mean?”

Yes, he wants to say, he gets it – he knows what Graham talks about because the last time Lee and him spoke, well, lets just say that he isn´t the one with the talent to act. 

“And what do you suggest I do?”

He almost knows what will come next, almost knows what Graham will suggest anyways before Graham says it – or so he thinks.  
“Come back to Blooms. Now that the old man isn´t running the show what is stopping you. I am not saying you should give up your studio or anything, it´s just – you could use some company instead of moping around here. Come on, Rich. What comes next? Hoarding gold in some far away mountain?”

Richard just narrows his eyes at the man, a biting reference on his tongue already forming before his shoulders slump.

“I wouldn´t do that.”

This time it´s Grahams turn to raise his eyebrows.

“I am not damaged enough in the head to try rock climbing, yet alone to hide in some mountain. Plus, I heard the internet connection there would be shitty.”

Graham outright laughs at him then and he feels an imaginary weight lift from his shoulders until another thought occurs to him.

“The others know about that, too?”

It´s a stupid question, he knows. He is proably the last one to know all of this because he has more or less spent the last few weeks under a rock. 

“Of course they know. I am kind of sent by them anyway. And Lee.”

Graham snorts at that, because ,well he had a conversation with the man himself and wasn´t that fun. Personally he doesn´t understand why Richard hasn´t moved along with him if all they do is pine for each other but he gets it – well on Richards parts.

“You talk to Lee. I am just a concerned friend.”

Two hours later Graham is gone and Richard is yet again left alone with his thoughts. He stares at his phone until he thinks it might bite him somehow but that might as well be the Whiskey talking. Raking a hand through his hair he tries to think and does so while straightening things around the house, cleaning dishes that don´t need to be cleaned before he makes a decision. It rings three times before someone picks it up.


	29. The Wheel in the Sky keeps turning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You bloody well better not or I´ll kick your pretty ass.”
> 
> Another laugh reaches his ears, warm and mirthful and it makes the corners of the mans mouth twitch no matter how much he wants to be mad for such sass.
> 
> “At least I do have a pretty ass. Finally you admitted to it.”

Two agonizing minutes pass by. Richard counts them, counts them with every fiber of his being and he thinks he might go insane until he hears Lee through the phone. He knows they should talk more often, should be _together_ , but then he thinks again how selfish that might be and how idiotic it will sound out of the mouth of someone that is over twenty.

And he is that person. Over twenty, not single. He should be happy – but he isn´t.   
This isn´t his life in this city. No matter which dreams he had held so dear to his heart, no matter how well he still keeps his body maintained. That´s not it. 

“Rich? What´s wrong?”

Lee sounds so damn concerned he wants to yell at the other man but he doesn´t because he knows that Lee only means it well, probably worries his head off.

“I miss you.”

He says instead with a voice that cracks around too many words and is just as unsteady as he feels. In his mind´s eye he can practically see how Lee raises his eyebrows, an annoyed grimace on his features.

After all, the guy was an actor in training and Richard should know better than to lie to him. Not that he _lies_ , he just shoves the real reason for his call onto the back burner of the conversation and hopes it gives him the courage he needs for what he really, really doesn´t want to say.

“I miss you too. So..why do you really call?”

Apparently he has less time to get his jumbled thoughts together than he thought and he curses inwardly. 

“Well..Uh- Graham dropped by.”

Wonderful. Just perfect. It felt like pulling teeth. Lees voice is soft when he speaks, a treacherous sound coming out of his mouth that confirms what Richard already knew.

“Well...”

Richard curses again, out loud this time and he cannot help but roll his eyes fondly when he hears Lee chuckle on his end of the line.

“Yes, I am getting there , hold your bloody horses.”

And in a voice that makes Richard think of anything else but a serious conversation that is desperately needed Lee tells him that there are no horses he has to hold. Again, Richard curses but collects himself.

“I gather you already talked to Graham, can´t you go easy on me?”

Silence that last a little too long tells him enough. It means _no_ , that much is clear. Counting inwardly to ten he takes a deep breath, wishing for a phone with a cord all of a sudden so that his fingers have something to do. 

“What do you think about it?”

There is another pause and it satisfies him a bit that he isn´t the only one who is not entirely at ease to know every solution to their problems immediately.

“I think that it is your decision Rich but you know that already. So, what else is there?”

And suddenly Richard thinks about rings and cakes and everything in between again, something he never ever dreamed of years ago but cannot stop thinking about every time he hears the wedding march and tries to teach talentless people how to waltz. Yeah, there is that but he also thinks that this in an conversation not really fit to be held over the phone.

“Nothing.”

He hears himself say and Lee gives a sigh. He doesn´t need a Skype call to verify that Lees face is scrunched up in a grimace because Lee knows best how shitty they both can be when it comes to expressing feelings.

“Nothing, he says. That nothing, does it have a name?”

Richard gives a snort- how should he put a name on something that nags at him, something they have already discussed to the point where the couldn´t hear it anymore and yet...

“No, it´s just- would you come with me? Look what we can rescue of the place?”

The laugh crackling over the line is the proof Richard needed to know that they are on common, save ground (although there is a voice in his head that sounds like Graham telling him to get to the fucking point. Well , he tells that voice to can it for the time being)

“Why do you even ask? Of course I will come with you to the place where you ravaged me and stole my innocence”

The glass of water that Richard had placed next to the phone in advance and which he was trying to raise to his dry lips nearly slipped from his fingers.

“What the hell? _I_ stole _your_ innocence?”

Their is another mirthful laugh resounding in his ears at that and he gets it. They both do.

“Okay, well – as soon as I am able to breath again, because, oh shit..well..How about next weekend? You know, they don´t keep us as slaves here and we can leave whenever we want, right?”

It´s a gentle reminder that nothing much has changed and also it confirmation that they are both sure of one thing if not of many others. They will make their way together, no matter how many obstacles are on it. 

“I am shocked. I thought you are only trained to bring some fancy ponce his cup of coffee or something like that. Iron someone´s pants or something.”  
Lee laughs again before he calms and clears his throat.

“No, not only but you are right. This is a conversation to be had over the phone. Not only because I am thinking of the next invoice..just, you know.”

Richard knew. He knew that he wanted to see into Lees eyes when they spoke, when they decided if it really would be okay to return there. Not that Lee had hated the place, not that Richard had despised it. 

The thing was that there were a lot of memories and not only good ones. Still, one couldn´t only have good memories unless that person was very good at ignoring everything else – if you asked Richard.

“Yeah, I get it love.”

And there it is again, the heat curling in his body, the heat that wants to overtake his body and kill his rational mind. He snorts _rational mind, my ass_. If either of them ever would have had something that could be considered a rational mind, well – things wouldn´t be as they were.

“Something funny?”

Lee gently inquires. 

“Yeah, I was thinking about our rational minds. You know, how wise we are and all that stuff.”

It takes three seconds flat until Lee chortles and nearly five minutes until something but garbled noises reach Richard ears. 

“Oh my god, that was a good one.”

Richard feels the first real smile in a long time tug at his lips.

“Indeed.”

He remarks drily before he gets serious, planning things for their meeting out with Lee in as much detail as he can over the phone. There is another ache gnawing at him and he gets the faint impression that Lee feels the same way. Not that he ever doubted it. 

“I wish it would the weekend already.”

Lee says and by the waver in his voice Richard knows that the younger man means it. When he was younger he used to laugh at people that where so in love that they claimed that they couldn´t stand being separated. Nowadays the laughter about such things dies in throat.

“Rich?”

He wonders what Lee has up his sleeve because he also knows that teasing tone and the expression that Lee likely wears, eyes crinkling at the corners and all, the whole she bang. Still, he falls for it and maybe he will do so forever. 

“Yes love?”

He asks and the next thing Lee says is not at all the things he had expected.

“You still owe me dance lessons.”

So forgive him when the only thing that leaves his mouth is a way too loud

_“What?”_

Lee doesn´t even try to hold in the laughter anymore – he is as well as Richard able to imagine the other mans face by the tone.

“You heard me. I never really , ya know – danced with you. Not that I complain about it, mind you.”

Richard counts to ten, shifts from foot to foot, wishing for the umpteenth time to be standing in front of the one person he really wants to see for a change but that is life he guesses.

“You bloody well better not or I´ll kick your pretty ass.”

Another laugh reaches his ears, warm and mirthful and it makes the corners of the mans mouth twitch no matter how much he wants to be mad for such sass.

“At least I do have a pretty ass. Finally you admitted to it.”

Richard had admitted to that fact a lot and Lee knows it, just not sober at the time and they both know that it isn´t Richards thing to talk about feelings or show them openly much.   
He has changed a lot in that regard but some things still were the same. 

“Yeah, why don´t you sit on it.”

Richard holds the phone away from his ears but the laughter is well worth it.

“Oh I do, every day.”

Lee cheerfully says once he can breathe again. The rest of the conversation turns more serious again. They write down a date and times, go through what amount of money they need and when they will meet up. It feels a bit too formal but it also feels like a test run for something bigger and brighter – something that would have made Richard run a few years back but now gives him an extra bounce in his step.

When they finally hang up it leaves them both with hope and longing.


	30. Time after Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “May I have this dance?”
> 
> Lee blinks owlishly for a moment before he all but roars with laughter. 
> 
> “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it for this story. I struggled a lot with it over time but I am happy to have it finished in a way that pleases me (and hopefully those lovely people who have been kind and and comforting, never cheasing to say or suggest something) Thank you for all your kindness, all the support <3 There will be more stories to come and of course I will also finish the other story I still have about those two lovely men - all in good time. Again, thank you so much, see you soon :) *hands out cookies*

All in all it takes more than a weekend to get things settled. It takes up almost half a year until they can meet up in person again. It is full of promises and heated kisses, nights spend in a bed too small to hold two man that are their height and if they break a bed frame once, it will never, ever be discussed _again_. 

Not by his so called _friends_ or a scarlet faced Lee who in turn had to explain that little tidbit to his new made friends room mates which had gone out for the time being. It had all been so perfectly planned. Richard still snorts at the memory. He never quite would have thought that Lee or any other human being would be capable of blushing _that_ intense.

As actors in training, he remembers on the side – the poor lads had tried their best to spare Lee further embarrassment but they were still in training, so naturally it hadn´t worked.

They just had looked at each other and broken into laughter that probably would hound Lee for a long, long time. Richard, too but he did enjoy to make the man squirm.   
Be that as it may, that is just a fond memory now on his long way to a place he never thought he see again, be it in dreams or nightmares.

It´s kinda like in the movies Richard thinks to himself – just real. So much more real than he likes most of the time. It´s his life after all, there are no second chances, to take backs.   
Logically he knows that´s not entirely true.

He knows there have been second chances, there have been a lot for him. And for Lee of course- never in his life he would have thought that he would end up at a place that he had hated so much. So much that he had lost all of his passion for his job and the things he had loved so much.

Yeah, he is thinking to much again but that doesn´t last long when he hears hollering voices as soon as he pulls onto the parking lot he dreaded so much back when it all started. 

All of a sudden he feels old, somehow – like he missed something, cannot get his grasp on certain things like the aches in his bones from a lifetime of dancing. He still loves it but it doesn´t get easier, never will.

He knows that now, at peace with his past and with his present. A present that has him seated clammy handed behind the wheel of his car, a cigarette clamped between his lips and wearing a tuxedo.  
The sudden knock on the passenger side makes him jump and knock his head on the roof while simultaneously dropping the still burning cigarette between his feet. He curses loudly.   
His answer is loud cackling from outside.

“Ah, he is alive, thank goodness.”

His glare is the kind of glare that would make people keel over if it would be possible but Martin simply grins broad and unashamed , like always. _Bastard_. He must have said it out loud because the shorter man only guffaws louder.

In his head Richard tries to remember that the person nearly in tears is one of his closest friends.  
A breathless little chuckle makes it´s way out of his mouth into the air all of sudden when he realizes that his normal is so, so far away from what others consider as such. 

“If you try to get that bachelor party we offered and you refused to join, it´s too late.”

There was a reason he refused to that – no, he thinks – many reasons that he will never say out loud and sober but he has been to that kind of parties before and he vowed a long time ago that Lee and him will never attend such parties when they are the ones that will marry. Sure, that also been a matter they had thoroughly discussed.

Another knock makes him jump and hit his head _again_

“He is not getting cold feet, is he?”

Luke questions but the thing he might be most afraid off is that there will be a salad buffet again he might being end up thrown in. He wouldn´t put it past Richard and Richard himself may have threatened to do that again if Luke wouln´t stop his nagging. 

“No, thinking about throwing me in the salad again, I assume.”

Before Richard can say anything snarky to the man Lees father appears.

“No, he will not do such thing or my wife will murder him.”

Richard believes every word the man says to him and finally manages to climb out of the car he more or less has hidden himself away for the last half an hour or so, stretching his long legs out. 

“I will murder all of you if you don´t get going.”

Put it to Lees mother to say even that with a smile on her face and the calmest expression someone can have in her position – which pretty much is the position of being the voice of reason for literally everyone. 

It´s a warm and inviting day, not overly so but they both welcome it, having forgone shoes for the sole reason that there will be dancing and as mentioned before it is warm enough to not get a cold in the process.

“Hey.”

Lee says, smile firmly in place hand outstretched like many times before but with much more significance. There will be no turning back, no more running so let it be excused that Richards mouth goes a little dry at the prospect of this being – well _it_ and Lees expression wavering a little.  
It´s Lees sister that stamps on Richards foot – as he will later be told (who in turn tells him that nothing of this would have happened without her in the first place – something he cannot deny but will do so fiercely) 

For the moment the only thing that leaves his mouth is the thing nobody would have expected

“May I have this dance?”

Lee blinks owlishly for a moment before he all but roars with laughter. 

“Yes.”

He says and sometime later they manage to come to the infamous _I do_ \- without much vows, neither of them being a fan of rules and what not. There is even a salad buffet (which Luke stays clear off much to everybody’s amusement at his expanse)

After everything is said and done and they found a quiet corner to themselves and very far away from their guests as much as they love and treasure them Lee finally blinks lazily from his finger, now adorned by a ring to the man curled up beside him.

“Would you change something?”

It´s a legit question with numerous answers and Richard has to think about it for a while, the glass in his hand nearly slipping. Well, a wedding is after all the day one can zone out, so give him a break. 

“Wouldn´t change a thing.”

He says and Lee grins at him and leans back.


End file.
